i dont find purpose in life and i cant talk anyone about my sadness

i dont find purpose in life. i think im just useless person in this earth. i live for nothing. this is my life. 

it seems i need 24 hours attention to stop this kind of emotion. i cant talk my mother now about how i feel. i dont want her to know what im going through because she has problem in health now. she is getting older and i dont want to be a burden so i deal things on my own.

psychotherapy is expensive. i cant buy self-help books here about suicidal thought. i need to order it in another country. i know it is expensive too.

i dont want to share this feeling in my friends because they are not aware about my situation. i know that they will suggest that we should drink or pray.

i want help and live but i dont know how.

sometimes im tired to fight and want to die.

i dont know what to do.

i hope anyone can give me advice about how i feel.

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Asking, maybe check out Philippine Atheists and Agnostics Society (PATAS) http://patas.co/

One of the co-founders was here yesterday promoting their upcoming conference, the first of its kind.

Is there a humanist organization near you? I'm thinking you need to socialize with others like you and that would help. Look into joining some organizations -- maybe helping others -- this might make you feel like you are really doing something worthwhile. Could you donate your time to charities or some humanistic endeavors? Helping others in need is a very good purpose in life.

I agree with Steph! Sometimes looking outside yourself can give you meaning and purpose. Look into volunteering at homeless shelters, animal rescue or just volunteering in your neighborhood. I do all three and have often been referred to as the " nicest Christian lady". Most folks just shrug and say " you're still OK in my book" when I tell them I'm not a Christian, just a nice lady trying to help. Doing for others can help you find meaning in your life.

well, this is a very sad thing to read.  i doubt any real good advice can come from strangers on the internet.  the best i can offer is to break down and talk to your friends.  they know you best, and you may not be giving them enough credit as to what their actual advice would be.  i wish you strength.  existence has tremendous value, and i hope you can come to see that. 

Look for someone who Seems to be suffering or sad,
try looking in someone's eyes as they are talking to you,
Try to alleviate someone's horrible day. You will feel more personal worth because you can help a person with what you totally know and understand that they are feeling themselves.

Don't think that you're useless person, as I assume that "I have learned if you love life, life will love you back sooner or later".

Please see a doctor about getting on a medication that can help your depression if you're not already on one!  There are many things to try! 

I agree with the advice already given here about maybe finding a group to join, or volunteering.  Also, do you have a pet, or can you adopt one?  Animals give great joy and there are many waiting in shelters that need you!

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. 

I'd like to say Self-love.

Most of the advice I have read here so far is top notch. Finding others to share feelings with and talk to is always a great help. I don't mean drinking or praying type friends, but others who may have similar feelings as you. Discussion and sharing of these feelings gives you support and strength. Search the Internet for local atheists in your area and ask for support. If at all possible actually meet and mingle with these people. It may surprise you to find that many of them have had feelings just like you, and before long you have regained a purpose in life.

I agree with you but If the question is about me, then what would you say ?

Being an individualist, I don't want to share my life with anybody.

Hmm I can understand were you are coming from. As others have stated, finding others who share your perspective should help you. When confronted with no meaning we quickly see ourselves standing on the line between life and death. This is why we must make our own meaning of life.

Religions like to shove meaning down our throat, but the most valuable meaning you can find is the one you make yourself. One thing I have found which helped me tremendously is learning how our world works. Try to learn more about the world, try to make acquiring knowledge a goal and meaning to you. I'd say the more you know, the more your connection to reality grows, the more you feel discomfort at the idea of wanting to 'leave'.

For as long as you live, anything is possible. But that does not hold true if you simply give up. There is beauty in understanding and if you find it, you'll know that what I'm saying is true.

Sadness is a symptom of depression.  There are definite treatments for depression beginning with a good doctor with this kind of experience.  This usually involves medication.  Some of the older medications are very cheap.  Most towns of any size have a help line.  Call this help line and you can find all kinds of groups related to depression.  You will feel much more comfortable talking to others who have had the same kind of problems you have.  There are even online groups for people suffering from depression.  When you have bad feelings, it is the depression causing these not anything you have done.  Learn as much as you can about depression and do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself.

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