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I came out atheist to my mom today

My mom knows I'm an atheist! And it's okay! I had been scared to tell my parents, but my mom was really calm about it and told me not to worry about what other people think and that she accepts me no matter what! Turns out that my brother is an atheist too, I had my suspicions and now I know for sure. I'm still not telling my dad as he's pretty active in the church (and he helps me pay for college, still have to wait until I'm financially independent for that conversation).

I feel like some of the weight is off my shoulders now. Future conversations with relatives are looming, but for now I'm relieved and happy!

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Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on December 16, 2009 at 3:52pm

I'm glad to see people accepting someone as they are, not letting disagreements get in the way--the person is more important. My bro is atheist too!

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 17, 2009 at 4:00am

I agree, people are far more important! Huzzah for atheist brothers!

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Permalink Reply by OutlawGirl on December 17, 2009 at 4:40am

I remember telling my mom I'd become an atheist. I was kind of disappointed that she took it so easily, almost as if it were nothing, but then we've never been very religious at all. Sometimes I'm not even sure if she's a theist.

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 17, 2009 at 7:01am

I'd been preparing for some sort of debate or having to defend my position too, but I didn't have to this time. I felt relieved, but a little strange since she took it so well. We're lucky to have had good experiences though, I'm sure a lot of atheists haven't. My mom's a theist, but she said she doubts. I had a feeling!

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Permalink Reply by Chris G on December 17, 2009 at 4:55am

A funny reply to a coming out story I heard was "Whew, I thought you were going to tell me you were getting married, or were having a baby."

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 17, 2009 at 6:25am

Ha ha ha, I'm sure she's glad it wasn't one (or both) of those two things!

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Permalink Reply by Stephen Sherbett on December 18, 2009 at 3:36am

I came out to my mother yesterday . Her first response was "no your not". The second thing she said was you believe in all that evolution nonsense there is no was i am a descendant of a primate. The third thing was be quite your stepdad might hear you . Then she proceeded to tell me to sit down at the table for grace and tell me i needed to start going to church with her. My response to all of this was I just told you i do not believe in any god or god so why would i go to church . At this time my stepdad was coming up the hall and i was told to not say a word about it again .

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 18, 2009 at 5:00am

I'm sorry to hear she was so close-minded Stephen. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for your convictions, so good for you for being true to yourself. Unfortunately sometimes people respond with denial, anger, and/or fear when faced with something unfamiliar (and something that threatens their world view). Or they respond by trying to "save" you by dragging you to church with them (which will only make you pull away more).

Are your mom and stepdad really serious when it comes to their religion? It sounds like it to me. It's hard to break through years and years of religious dogma. Maybe after some time she'll realize that her relationship with you is more important than upholding a difference of opinion is.

I found this article on the American Atheists' site, maybe you'll find some of the information helpful: http://www.atheists.org/atheism/coming_out

I would give her some time to process what you've told her, hopefully she'll think about it instead of being in denial and ignoring the issue. Best of luck to you in the future, keep us posted!

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Permalink Reply by Jesse Bellar on December 18, 2009 at 11:55pm

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

When I started telling people that I'm an atheist my parents freaked out. They would just start berating me for it, and even said they would stop giving me Christmas presents! Well, after that heated exchange my brother caught me in the hallway leading to my room and said: "Hey, I'm an atheist too. I just didn't tell anyone because I was afraid they would be mad." After that we both told them that this is what we believed and if they really loved us they would accept that. I'm sure there are a lot of kids who are afraid to tell there their parents, and when they come to this sites like this one and see this they will be encouraged to come out as well. Thank you for sharing and congratulations:)

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on January 21, 2010 at 4:52am

Thanks! Congrats to you and your brother too! I really hope we can encourage others!

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on January 21, 2010 at 4:53am

Party! Woo! Thanks!

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Permalink Reply by Rebecca Anderson on January 20, 2010 at 5:37pm

Way to go. Congratulations.

I had it fairly easy because my father's an atheist as well and was always supportive. A year or so ago, during a famiily reunion at my parents' house I was sitting in the yard reading when two of my REALLY religious aunts came up to me and basically said, "So, Rebecca, I understand you're still a godless heathen. One day our prayers for you will work!"

I responded by saying, "No, I'm no longer an atheist - I've found religion. I've found religion to be an insult to human intelligence and integrity. I'm now an anti-theist!" And I held up the book I was reading: "God is not great: How religion poisons everything" by Christopher Hitchens.

The looks on their faces are worth a few decades in hell!