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I came out atheist to my mom today

My mom knows I'm an atheist! And it's okay! I had been scared to tell my parents, but my mom was really calm about it and told me not to worry about what other people think and that she accepts me no matter what! Turns out that my brother is an atheist too, I had my suspicions and now I know for sure. I'm still not telling my dad as he's pretty active in the church (and he helps me pay for college, still have to wait until I'm financially independent for that conversation).

I feel like some of the weight is off my shoulders now. Future conversations with relatives are looming, but for now I'm relieved and happy!

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Permalink Reply by Fabio on December 16, 2009 at 7:56am

:) way to go!

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Permalink Reply by Rob van Senten on December 16, 2009 at 9:30am

Congratulations Kitty!

I'm still not telling my dad as he's pretty active in the church (and he helps me pay for college, still have to wait until I'm financially independent for that conversation).

Do you honestly think that he'll cut you off financially if you came out to him as an atheist? If so, then I feel deeply sorry for the situation that you're in. It's sad that religion can be such a barrier between people, even more so among family members.
I just can't help but wonder what's going to happen if you do come out to him eventually.

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 16, 2009 at 10:00am

Thanks!

I'm not sure how it would go if I told him I'm an atheist. He didn't become religious until he was in his early forties, so it's not like he's never been on the nonbeliever side of the fence before. I just did the opposite, I was raised in a church and then I left. My brother is an atheist too and I think my dad knows that and he hasn't cut my brother off. My dad's a calm person and I know he'd do anything for his family, so I don't think he would cut me off. I would feel better telling him once I'm on my own, I just think it would be easier. My main concern in telling my parents was that they would be disappointed or that they would blame themselves. Thankfully it's not that way with my mom and I'm beyond relieved about that!

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Permalink Reply by Starscream on December 16, 2009 at 6:50pm

Glad to hear you had a positive experience, some aren't so lucky.

And as far as dad, no hurry, tell him when you're ready ;) I always look at as if it comes up in conversation, you tell the truth like it's no big deal, but you never make it a topic of conversation first. If you make it come across as a big deal, the other person is more likely to make it a big deal.

Again, congrats.

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 17, 2009 at 3:31am

I'm very glad it was a positive experience! The subject just came up in conversation and she confirmed that my brother doesn't believe in god. I saw that as my opportunity and I couldn't let it get away! My heart was going a mile a minute, but I went through with it and I'm glad I did!

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Permalink Reply by Howard S. Dunn on December 16, 2009 at 9:54am

My mother (who recently passed) was 'more Catholic than the Pope.' (We teased her about it. She and my father prayed at their bedside every night for almost fifty years.)

Nevertheless, while she knew I was atheist, she never condemned me for it. She asked me to give her eulogy. I did, in a gothic Fransican cathedral, in a crowd that contained at least thirty old women she led every week in her prayer group. I never mentioned god once. I spoke of her curiousity, goofiness, intellect, kindness and the memories that kept her alive inside each of us. I spoke of all the ways she would go unsung, that would, nevertheless, exist solely because she existed.

After the service, all of those women wanted a copy of the eulogy.

I found that there was a way to be sincere so that, even among people whose belief holds the implication that you will burn foever in a noxious hell, they will be moved by your compassion. It is great you found the courage. And, I bet, that relief is a little deeper than that. It's pretty awesome when you find out that someone loves you more readily than you gave them credit for.

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Permalink Reply by Pastafarian Kitty on December 17, 2009 at 3:40am

I found that there was a way to be sincere so that, even among people whose belief holds the implication that you will burn forever in a noxious hell, they will be moved by your compassion.

That is exactly what I'm trying to do with my own life. I'm sorry to hear your mother is no longer with us, a devout Catholic who doesn't condemn an atheist is pretty special in my book!

It's pretty awesome when you find out that someone loves you more readily than you gave them credit for.

Exactly. I couldn't have said it better. It's a wonderful feeling!