Sorry for the vague title, didn't know exactly how to word it.
My sister is graduating from college this week and I'm staying at my parents house for the week. They have me staying in their guest room which has 3 very religious items in it that, frankly, bother me. There is a wooden carving of Jesus' head looking all dour wearing the thorn of crows prominently staring at me as I sleep. There is a picture of Jesus with his heart floating over his chest and his heart is wearing a thorn of crowns and he is crossing his arms over his chest clearly showing off his stigmata. The third is a cross with Jesus on it directly hanging over the bed where my head is. The first night here I just couldn't sleep with this stuff. Not only do I not want to sleep in a room with gore hung on 3 of the 4 walls but I find Jesus, the cross and everything is entails to be very offensive to me. So, I decided to take them down and put them, very gently, on the dresser that is in the room.
My dad walked in just an hour ago to grab something and immediately noticed the stuff wasn't there. He asked me why I took them down and said "did they really offend you that much". I told him that I didn't want to sleep in a room covered with gore and that I didn't mistreat his stuff and wasn't attempting to be offensive. He said "well, it's important to my faith and it's my house". That's when I got annoyed and brought up and incident from the past. When I was younger, he had asked to borrow my car to drive to work one day since his was in the shop. I had a darwin fish sticker on the back of the car (one of the plastic ones). When he came home with my car it was ripped off. I asked him what had happened to it and he said that he tore it off because he refused to drive to work with it on there. Keep in mind, this was MY car that I paid for and I was loaning it to him as a favor.
So, he basically stormed off and now I'm thinking "WTF...I'm so tired of this shit". I never push 'atheism' on him and I tolerate his "I hope you find Jesus" and "I'll pray for you" bull shit so often even though it's so offensive. I am almost at the point where I just want to say "GAH...FUCK YOUR GOD...SERIOUSLY...JESUS CAN EAT A DICK!!!" But I'm staying here as a guest and I want to be polite.
Irony is that my mother, who is here also, is agnostic. You'd think he'd understand where I am coming from. He's just so used to her not ever bringing up religion. She is one of those agnostics who thinks that atheist is a bad word because we want to destroy religious freedom and that all non-religious people should just shut up and leave the religious people alone so they can ruin our country. In fact, she was giving me a ride to surgery a couple months ago and we passed by 5 churches in a row that were being built. I sighed and said "it makes me sad to see that" and she automatically assumed that I wanted to tear down all churches and outlaw religion and claimed I was being uber offensive. Even after I told her that it just makes me sad that people still cling onto religion despite all the negatives it has brought and that I in NO WAY wanted to outlaw religion and that I would die to defend peoples rights to believe in a god even if it makes me sad that they feel they need to.
Although this would be hilarious, I'd advise against it...!?!
When your dad asked you if they "offended you so much", it would probably be enough to simply say "yes" and leave it at that. There is no need to leap into the minutiae of why you don't like the stuff - doing so is asking for a hostile reaction.
It certainly sounds like your dad is passionate about enforcing his beliefs and doesn't see the irony of the case you described where he borrowed your car. One thing is certain, though - bringing emotion into the discussion will not solve things.
No kidding. That's just plain messed up!
I understand how you feel about religion and the religious symbols but it is your parents house and you are a guest. Your sister is graduating from college and she should be the center of attention for you and your family.
If you want to rehash old arguments (Darwin Fish) do it after you sister's graduation. ChrisC makes a good point, emotions will not solve the issues.
It's your space. Do with it as you see fit, and if you have to bring up the incident with the Darwin fish, I wouldn't hesitate. If your father can't allow you your opinion and the implementation of that opinion, all he shows is his own bigotry.
It's his house. If he wants to put up pictures of blood, guts and gore, or for that matter Chango the Voodoo spirit, Gonesh the elephant god, or any other nonsensical mythological characters, I suppose he can. Do the same thing I do when invited to my evangelical brother's house. I get a motel room. As to the vehicle, there's a lesson to be learned. Don't be like him.
Agree with Pat. The first thing that came to mind was a motel room. You'd still be available to anyone, and you could visit the house, but you wouldn't have to sleep in that creepy room. The way you described it, i don't think i could sleep there either.
I'm sure the situation is over, and you have handled the situation in an appropriate manner. Just for grins (I don't recommend the following action), you could have used one picture to wipe your back side. After doing so, state "This ain't even good for s--t." I hope you get a laugh from the imagery. And remember that there are plenty of other things that we have to disagree with our parents or kids besides religion. Don't let it get you down too much.
ha. to support the nation of Vatican is treason.. (in the USA) Connecting dots.. i mean
a. Castro, actually a Catholic.. they took 'atheist' or ism outta the Cuban Const. at the request of whatever pope in the 90's
so. since the USA permits atheists to exist and express their views seems the Cuban Commis and Vatican (commis?) .. in name only.. communist that is.. have become legion and boy do they hate America...
when Bush said 'they hate our freedumz..." he was right w/that notion but wrong enemy.. ; )
(print hang up on wall see what happens!? stand back! LOL sigh...
just sayin' there's no U.S. flag flying around the Vatican grounds nah mean!?
"y "GAH...FUCK YOUR GOD...SERIOUSLY...JESUS CAN EAT A DICK!!!"
LOL now now.. name calling is counterproductive... ; )
calling out the farce tho aok
Does your father collect snuff films ? Id think not, so why does he have the equivalent of a 'snuff film action doll' in his house ? Thats the angle i would take. :)
Whether or not it is your parents' house, putting all of those religious decorations in the guestroom makes your father a very poor host. If your father doesn't like visitors, then why keep it a guestroom? I would make my guests welcome (and a guest feels better having a cross in the room, he/she can bring it on the provision that he/she takes it with him/her when he/she leaves).