I was about five when I decided I'd rather raise kittens than children. Before that, I can't remember thinking anything concrete about bearing children. I know I was given dolls to play with, but there came a certain point when I was disappointed with dolls, and definitely wanted books instead.

At about nine, when a relative by marriage commented on how I'd make someone a good wife someday(because I'd baked gingerbread from a box mix), I retorted that I never wanted to get married. Their reaction was as if I'd suddenly sprouted horns, a forked tail, and my breath took on the distinct aroma of brimstone.

How about you?

Tags: childfree

Views: 417

Replies to This Discussion

Just a few years more, then they´ll stop nagging you.

In my life, there are no memories of believing in god, and no memories of wanting children. My first half-sibling was born when I was 5. My mom always had the cloth diapers hanging from the toilet bowl, and my sister was always sick so vomit was a constant. My next sibbling came at age 7, both peed their beds til ages 7-10 (I was diaper free at 9 months and had a hard time sympathising). A lot of what I remember in those years is the constant wafting of the vile smells of urine, feces, vomit, urine, feces, vomit, and the constant wailing. I have no fond memories of babies. At all.

 

My sense of the world becoming overpopulated becan when I was reading my youth encyclopedia at age 7. And my dream of a non-sedentary life followed soon after. Our encyclopedias and Nat Geo magazines (toilet reading material) made me want to see the world.

 

I've done some teaching, TAing, subbing, from all ages from kindergarden to university. 17 was my minimal age for liking the job. Even tho I apparently did have positive impacts on the younger ones I tought. I have always had a Cesar Millan approach to smaller beings (whether human or animal) and so am usually quite efficient with children, to the generalised gushes and wows from my friends who assume because I want to no children I should be untalented, and they all chant, OH YOU ARE SO GOOD WITH THEM, YOU SHOULD HAVE KIDS!!!

 

I can't even count the number of times I've heard that. Drives me nuts. (They tell me that about my animal talents too, even tho at this point in my life I no longer have a pet)...

I can relate to this a lot. I was disgusted by the idea of having children from a very young age. I grew up with a lot of children in the home and very little room. Our house was a mess, the kids were messy, my mother was constantly stressed out. I was five years old when I started to wonder why anybody would want this for themselves. Of course not all people with children end up like that, but I see it more often than not.

 

While playing house with other kids I always refused to play the mother. I wanted to be the child or delivery man--anything but the mom. The funny thing is that I can be very good with kids. But that doesn't mean I want that responsibility all the time. I just do it because I'm not a jerk and I don't want to make life harder on a kid than it already has to be (my childhood was extremely difficult). In fact, there are only a few children who I actually enjoy being around. They are smart, interesting, funny, and have more common sense than most adults. Usually it is because they have seen the world for what it is at a young age. Luckily my nephew happens to be one of these rare kids, but he can still drive me nuts.

 

The more sheltered a child is the more annoying they tend to be. Unfortunately, most parents would rather turn the T.V. on for their diabetic, lazy, bratty, ADHD child than sit with them and read a book or play outside. These are the same people who get sad when I say that I don't want children. Parenting sure is easy when you don't have to pay attention to your kids, isn't it!?

 

I also get told that I should be a mom because I know a lot about parenting. Just because I know how to hold an infant and entertain a toddler doesn't mean I like it. I know these things because I've been obligated to help raise children in my family since I was 13 years old. In a way I have been a mom. If I ever had a child I feel that it would completely ruin my life. I get no pleasure from the idea of pregnancy and dedicating my life to someone who I might not even like. It's less selfish of me to not have children.

 

I also don't see why adoption can't be just as "magical" or "meaningful" as having a biological child. You're actually doing the world a service by adopting, unlike if you were to breed. Adopting seems a lot more fulfilling. But that's still not even a consideration for me.

I never really gave it any thought until I was in the military and married for the first and last time :)

I think I was about 23 at the time and she wanted to have one but I took the necessary steps on my end to prevent that.

Some people say it doesn't always work, well it did for me :)

Also it was just reconfirmed by a trip to my local Wal-Mart, theres nothing like being able to shop in peace without some grubby finger little kid grabbing at everything because all they do is take, take, take! Vasectomy here I come!!

Now my dad keeps saying to me "so I have a granddaughter, now I need a grandson someone to carry on the name" I usually just say "yeah I'm don't think I'm gonna be having any kids, it's just not for me", my mom on the other hand is cool with it.  

Oh, god, going to Walmart should be enough to convince ANYONE never to have kids! I can't think of a better argument in favor of sterilization than the brats who are inflicted upon the general public in stores like Walmart. I would hate to work at a Toys-R-Us store!
I can't remember EVER wanting children!
I'm not sure that I ever wanted children, but I remember thinking about it at age 13 or 14 and coming to the conclusion that I didn't want to have children and that if I ever did want children I would adopt.  Nearly a decade later and I feel exactly the same.

I don't think there was ever a time when I wanted children.  As early as elementary school I recognized that there was something wrong with the Family System.  I recognized that my mother just did it because she wanted to have an adult identity and wanted to be able to remain in denial about her own parents.  I recognized that my father was doing essentially the same thing.  He was controlled by his mother.  My mother picked him because he was wired up that way.

 

Now yes, I have done very badly in making a life of my own.  I've been very poor in finding allies and making alternatives.  And there are reasons I need to keep the details of my life concealed.

 

But now its not so much about not wanting kids.  That's kind of a given.  Rather I want to strike back against the family system.

Can't remember the exact age, but I was pretty young when I announced that I'm never getting married and never having kids. I dunno, maybe 10 or 11? Of course, nobody took me seriously, because ALL girls want to get married and have children. But the years went by, and I am 47 now with no husband and no kids, so evidently I was pretty damn serious! While I MIGHT change my mind on the getting married bit, it's a bit late to change my mind about having kids.

 

And I still don't want them. Never did, never will. Got no use for them, they're expensive, messy, noisy, and I find them generally annoying.The process of being pregnant and giving birth never appealed to me in the slightest.  I had loads of plushie animals as a child, but very few dolls, and my mother ended up giving them away because I never played with them. I went through a very brief Barbie phase, but preferred my plastic dinosaurs! I loved our cats, but was not attracted to cooing babies like other little girls seemed to be. So even as a very young child, I had no mothering instinct at all.

hehe :)

I wasn't into dolls and plushy animals, but I did have a super tanned Barbie, for whom I used to make clothes out of miniature patterns with my mom's old sewing machine. When I got tired of sewing clothes for her, I started performing surgeries and injections, after a few months of that there wasn't too much of her left!

Overall, it was much more enjoyable sliding down the side of the mountain in deep snow, or riding my bicycle up the side walls of the gravel pit :)

I never thought about having kids. So I guess when I was a teenager.

Decision 16, sterilized at 24.

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