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How old were you when you decided childfree was your default?

I was about five when I decided I'd rather raise kittens than children. Before that, I can't remember thinking anything concrete about bearing children. I know I was given dolls to play with, but there came a certain point when I was disappointed with dolls, and definitely wanted books instead.

At about nine, when a relative by marriage commented on how I'd make someone a good wife someday(because I'd baked gingerbread from a box mix), I retorted that I never wanted to get married. Their reaction was as if I'd suddenly sprouted horns, a forked tail, and my breath took on the distinct aroma of brimstone.

How about you?

Tags: childfree

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on February 18, 2010 at 3:28am

I'd agree that not having children was a good move for me, too. I don't think I"d have made a worse parent than a lot of the people I see in public with their children, but I know my parenting wouldn't have been optimal.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on October 30, 2009 at 10:42pm

Depending on what point in my life I've always fallen somewhere between "Don't have any need to procreate" to "Hell fucking no, not in a million years."

- I have zero fear of the pain of childbirth. Actually have had that twinge of what I presume to be a biological instinct to bond with an offspring like that. However...

- Call me outright lazy but I can not imagine spending every waking moment (and much of my precious sleep time) chasing after kids. I hear a child scream in a grocery store and can't imagine having to be the one to deal with that day after day. I'm convinced by the way that Wal-Mart actually plays recordings of children screaming over the P.A. It's the only reasonable explanation for frequency and volume.

- Call me outright selfish but I very much enjoy the freedom of not having someone else to be responsible for. As much as I've been looked down upon for not having/wanting kids, I know some of that has come out of suppressed jealousy.

- Even OP kids; I do alright with family and some friends' kids. But I tried babysitting a few times as a teenager and hated every second of it. I don't dislike children per se, I just don't have the Mommy gene I suppose. I instead have the Cool Aunt gene.

All that said, it's telling that the one time I was all of 8 hours late for a period (while on the pill and could set a clock by them), I didn't spend that 8 hours looking for an abortion provider, but rather I spent that 8 hours figuring out how I'd need to rearrange my life to have a child. I might well have changed my mind the next day and gone for the abortion. But I've just always found that interesting when I self-psychoanalyze.

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Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on February 18, 2010 at 3:35am

I'm convinced by the way that Wal-Mart actually plays recordings of children screaming over the P.A. It's the only reasonable explanation for frequency and volume.

I used to work retail, and could tell you the truth of the matter, but then someone from the Retailer's Association would probably kill me.

I have a hard enough time getting enough sleep. Having a small child contributing to insomnia and random wakenings, and I'd probably go insane from sleep deprivation.

Doting aunties are really underrated. I always wanted to be one once I figured out I didn't want to bear and raise children of my own. That being said, I would have raised my nephews, or taken on a friend's kid if necessary... but they were beyond the stage where they'd be waking me up every few hours.

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on August 24, 2010 at 3:05pm

That being said, I would have raised my nephews, or taken on a friend's kid if necessary... but they were beyond the stage where they'd be waking me up every few hours.

For a brief moment in time it looked like my niece, about 11 at the time, would need foster-raising. I was voted by the family as one of the top candidates and would have been quite willing to do it. Though it's also easy to say that in hindsight as despite some rough patches she turned out quite ok.

Permalink Reply by Allison Rodriguez on December 27, 2010 at 3:45pm

Yep, sleep is definitely an issue! I average about 10 hours a day and I can't imagine how I would do that with kids! I would be a grouchy, irritated, B*TCH!

Allison

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on August 8, 2010 at 5:13pm

But screaming babies are the reason people run into the store and get the hell out as quick as possible. Worst marketing scheme ever!

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on December 16, 2009 at 9:54pm

I never pictured myself being a parent when I was in my teens. Most of that was probably b/c I envisioned a pretty horrible, socially inept future. I babysat a lot and I somewhat enjoyed it. In college I worked in daycare. I liked the kids and I still do like kids, but I can't stand babies. I don't think they are cute (for the most part) and working in the baby room, taking care of 5 babies at once, really ruined me to them.

I don't want to put someone else through what I went through, with being made fun of as a kid and things like that. Not having a kid also is a great way to dodge so many ethical issues!

I view overpopulation as the root cause of all other environmental problems, and I have a misanthropic streak. I do some things for environmental reasons, but I know that my being alive still has an effect on the environment. Creating someone else who will do the same is the one thing I don't ever want to do.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on February 18, 2010 at 3:37am

but I can't stand babies. I don't think they are cute (for the most part) and working in the baby room, taking care of 5 babies at once, really ruined me to them.

I"m not a fan of babies, either. It's refreshing to see someone else write that.

Permalink Reply by Gwaithmir on December 24, 2009 at 2:46pm

I was the second of four children in my family. At an early age I saw how hard it was for my mother to care for us constantly and how my father busted his ass to make enough money for us all to get by. Probably by the age of ten I realised that I had no desire to live a life of economic servitude.

I was also put off by the Catholic "education" I received which elevated babies to the status of golden calves. "Every baby is a gift from God," and "No birth control," were the mantras sung weekly by my Catholic teachers--priests and nuns who were totally ignorant about sex, marriage, child-rearing, and holding down regular jobs for a living.

I got a vasectomy as soon as I was in my early 20's. I still wanted a normal sex life, but not the chance of an unwanted pregnancy. The idea of marriage didn't appeal to me either, not because I didn't want a wife, but because I never really believed that I would ever find a woman who would agree to a childless relationship. As fate would have it, the "right" one never came along.

Permalink Reply by Chris Breman on December 26, 2009 at 1:45am

I was seven and my parents told me that children were a gift of their god, but I saw they never seemed to enjoy their presents. And I hated to be a child; to have no rights, to be looked down on, to have other people decide for you, and to endure remarks like ´That child should never have been born.´. I decided then and there that I would not have children.
I was 23 when I went to live with my present partner, and then there were questions about grandchildren, but my parents understood by then that I was hopelessly lost to religion and they were scared to death of my communist father-in-law, so they accepted in the end that we would decide for ourselves and predicted that I would live a sinful and unhappy life. Sin is for believers and I´ve only been unhappy in connection with my parents so far. I´m 55 and have had some nice aunt-like contacts with some children.
Take care of your horns - a little oil might help!

Permalink Reply by Jo Jerome on December 26, 2009 at 6:26pm

and predicted that I would live a sinful and unhappy life.

Don't you just love that? I still get that from one of my sisters. I don't believe in anything, therefore I am miserable and negative and that's why I have bad financial luck (no answer as to why she has such bad financial luck).

Permalink Reply by Allison Rodriguez on December 27, 2010 at 3:49pm

AHAHAHAH! excellent! yeah, I was pagan for 17 years so I think my family was probably pretty scared that I would be bringing little witches into the world :) And I would have too! I was looking forward to it actually! But that was when I believed that worshiping the goddess could fix what was wrong with me and the world. Now that I'm atheist, I know that I can't rely on my imaginary friend to help me be a good mom and If I can't do it on my own, I just shouldn't do it! I know for a fact that my dad believes that children bring love into the world and I am going to be lost without them... which is funny considering he's moving like 2 hours away from me, my siblings and his 2 grandsons... hmmm...

Allison