I was about five when I decided I'd rather raise kittens than children. Before that, I can't remember thinking anything concrete about bearing children. I know I was given dolls to play with, but there came a certain point when I was disappointed with dolls, and definitely wanted books instead.

At about nine, when a relative by marriage commented on how I'd make someone a good wife someday(because I'd baked gingerbread from a box mix), I retorted that I never wanted to get married. Their reaction was as if I'd suddenly sprouted horns, a forked tail, and my breath took on the distinct aroma of brimstone.

How about you?

Tags: childfree

Views: 417

Replies to This Discussion

I don't think I ever wanted kids. I was so desperate to fit in in high school (to my everlasting shame) That I got my one and only boyfriend. I already knew then that not only do I not want kids but, I didn't want to get married. (The guy turned out to be a creep). I lean towards the asexual side since, I have never been sexually attracted to someone. I almost wish that all the people who think I am wierd for not wanting to get married and have kids knew that. I can just imagine the reactions I would get.
I like kids but, as someone already mentioned, it's in a "give them back to their parents when they start annoying you" sort of way.
Yeah, OP kids (other people's) kids are great! I never had a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school (although I did have a crush on one of each), mostly because I was really busy with schoolwork, an after school job, and helping my mother at home with my siblings. I was also shy when it came to asking other people out, which thankfully, I overcame.

. I almost wish that all the people who think I am wierd for not wanting to get married and have kids knew that. I can just imagine the reactions I would get.

I know someone else on Atheist Nexus who describes herself as asexual. I wish she'd post more!
I remember being 12 and thinking I might adopt some cute kids from different countries- a little rainbow family. So apparently having my own never occurred to me. Then by 16 I was sure I didn't want any at all. Now at 38 the pressure is getting a little easier. Some of the women I work with marvel at the idea of not wanting kids, and tell me I "still have time". I've even broken up with boyfriends in the past who said they wanted kids some day- no sense getting too attached. My husband never wanted kids either and broke up with his college girlfriend over it (they are still friends and she has 2 kids). But every year I am more and more pleased with my decision. I love my life and don't feel like anything is missing.
I wanted the rainbow family in high school when I watched a documentary/Hollywood film (I forget which) on Josephine Baker, but I wanted to adopt. That faded as I got busy with other things.

It was always the men who wanted children who broke up with me. I never understood someone saying that they loved me, then deciding they didn't love me anymore because I didn't want to bear children. Maybe the biologicial drive, possibly coupled with societal condiitioning, is more of a force with some people.
Some people just consider it "normal" and can't imagine something different.
I wonder if their imagination is stunted in other ways?
People who say they love you but then break up with you b/c you won't have kids...they're essentially breaking up with you over someone they've never met. That's a pretty shallow love.
Greetings fellow heathens. I'm 33 and have never wanted kids for as long as I can remember. Shortly after my ex-husband and I got married he had a vasectomy. I never told anyone in my family about it because they would have been mortified. My ex husband had 3 kids, some of which lived with us on and off. I was content to step mom his kids, but still didn't want my own. The fact that my mother has made many comments over the years about a lack of grandchildren only reinforces the fact that I want none myself. One visit she made to my home while one of my step kids was there, she said within earshot of this kid, that she didn't consider him family because he was too old etc. I threw her out of the house. Why would I want to bring a child into that nonsense?

Now that I've been divorced for many years, I think that it takes 2 to make them and 2 to raise them, and my chances of finding a mate that I would even consider making them with are pretty slim.

I have a dog, that's all I need
One visit she made to my home while one of my step kids was there, she said within earshot of this kid, that she didn't consider him family because he was too old etc.

Wow. Some people really don't seem to care how cruel they can be.
no doubt. and she had no idea why I was IRATE with her.
You know, the really scary thing about this is that those who are smart enough don't, those not, do. Self- directed evolution? The best seats are empty with plenty a good man standing (I know, that's a terrible analogy).

On a saner note, I love my new grandson. I'll download some pictures, if you feel tempted. His little toes are sooooo cute.

Yeah, I know where the door is. But really, if you get past the little inconveniences like poverty, sub-standard housing, crushing workloads, piles of laundry, giving up your dreams and never an invitation to visit anyone, having five kids is rewarding as hell. Did you know the street value of food stamps is two for one greenback dollar? Like, I can get a fifth of vodka for the price of four bags of potatoes. And just drift away.....(I found my default).....
I know, their everywhere! Half of them are probably mine. At least the heathens anyway. Let me know if you change your mind.

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