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How old were you when you decided childfree was your default?

I was about five when I decided I'd rather raise kittens than children. Before that, I can't remember thinking anything concrete about bearing children. I know I was given dolls to play with, but there came a certain point when I was disappointed with dolls, and definitely wanted books instead.

At about nine, when a relative by marriage commented on how I'd make someone a good wife someday(because I'd baked gingerbread from a box mix), I retorted that I never wanted to get married. Their reaction was as if I'd suddenly sprouted horns, a forked tail, and my breath took on the distinct aroma of brimstone.

How about you?

Tags: childfree

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Joe Burke on July 5, 2009 at 11:51am

"But... men, in general, www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/egm/equalsharing/Indira%2520Hirway.pdf+in..." target="_blank">don't share equally in childrearing responsibilities."

That is what I mean... even if the father spends every free moment with his children society says he doesn't spend enough time with them. I've met very few fathers who are barely there for their kids but but society will still say he hardly does anything for his kids.

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on December 16, 2009 at 9:38pm

It seems that some males get the same urge to procreate, to spread their genes, etc...like my spouse.

Permalink Reply by B-Girl on May 9, 2009 at 12:49am

It wasn't until I was in my late teens or early 20's that I realized that I really didn't want kids, it wasn't until really recently (I'm in my early 30's) that I was able to understand why I don't want them. Prior to my late teens, I told people that I didn't want kids because I didn't want to tell them that medically I shouldn't have kids. When you are a child or teenager, telling people that you have a genetic disease tends to bring questions that I did not want to answer; at best it gets you sympathy, at worst it gets you ostracized.

I don't understand kids, can't really relate to them at all (didn't relate too well to other kids when I was one), I don't consider them to be fun, and for me, life is all about having fun.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on May 21, 2009 at 9:55am

telling people that you have a genetic disease tends to bring questions that I did not want to answer; at best it gets you sympathy, at worst it gets you ostracized.

I can only imagine!

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on May 21, 2009 at 9:53am

Welcome to the club!

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on May 12, 2009 at 12:20am

"crotchfruits"! hahahahaha!

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 28, 2009 at 10:22am

Interesting perspective!

Permalink Reply by Conor on May 10, 2009 at 9:24pm

I'm not certain exactly how many years it's been since that has been a concrete decision in my mind. I remember asking my doctor about vasectomies when I was 18, so at least 10 years now (even at 28 it's hard to find a doctor willing to go through with that procedure w/o an argument). That's been a decade of hearing "Oh, you'll change your mind when you get older" in response to my choice of being child free.

It's a decision that seems to keep me single and safe. :)

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on May 21, 2009 at 9:58am

I used to hear "Oh, you'll change your mind when you get older" all the time. Now I'm 49. The "sympathy" that I don't have children is setting in, but I don't get harassed nearly as often as I did when I was younger.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on June 28, 2009 at 10:23am

Did you decide you didn't want children at all, or just didn't want to bear any?

Permalink Reply by Creature on May 11, 2009 at 12:08am

The minute I started going through puberty, and realized that getting pregnant was possible I wanted to have nothing to do with it. I've found that for a majority of my life now the idea of going through pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding turns my stomach. It doesn't bother me when other women show off their bellies, share birthing stories or breast feed their kids. I'm generally happy for them. It's not that I dislike children, I like other people's kids in the sort of "I can hand you back to Mommy once you start to fuss" sort of way.

Does anyone else have the same feelings of disgust?

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on May 21, 2009 at 10:07am

Does anyone else have the same feelings of disgust?

I'm sure someone does. People aren't always willing to "out" themselves in public forums.

I also like OP kids. I always wanted to be a doting auntie, which has been difficult as my nephews all live about 750 miles away.