How do you deal with religious friends?

I have very recently come out as an Atheist and I have a very close friend, whom I have known since I was very young, who is rather devote Lutheran.  The issue has reared it's ugly head when we recently saw The Book of Eli.  While I found it to be entirely too preachy, he loved it.  I find myself keeping quiet far more around friends then I would like and am curious about how others handle issues of this nature.

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Permalink Reply by Jezzy on April 18, 2010 at 5:20pm
I don't have any miracle advice. I don't want to blast people with what they aren't asking for, but I don't want to live a lie either. I don't think fighting with people does much good, but I think exposing them to new ideas is useful as long as you're careful. I also tend to be quiet but I think there's a purpose in declaring your beliefs too, and I want to get there.

Lol I love how all my sentences almost contradict themselves. I think bottom line is to be sensitive, but not just hide either.
Permalink Reply by eric stone on April 18, 2010 at 7:14pm
There's no one good answer for this but keeping quiet probably will not work for you. I suggest that you practice how you would assert yourself in a nonbelligerent manner and keep in mind that it's a long series of learning experiences on how to cope with the attacks and the separations when they come. I would keep a notebook of your responses to the various charges of your various acquaintances, and also of your plans on how you would find new friends. If you're really crushed there are therapists who now deal with leaving religion.
Permalink Reply by Martin C on April 18, 2010 at 8:37pm
Take them to clash of the titans and explain how it is just as valid, and most people believed that stuff at one time, and its more plausible since multiple gods can at least explain contradictions in reality :) plus its in 3d like the real world :p
Permalink Reply by Sigmund on April 19, 2010 at 1:36pm
OR IS IT!!!!????? ;p
Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on April 18, 2010 at 9:56pm
I had a friend and when we were younger we were both exploring new age and pagan beliefs. A few years ago she got back into Christianity which she was raised in. We used to talk a lot about different things b/c she had adopted the usual Christian views and was very serious about being Christian but she still knew where I stood with a lot of things. So when I told her I had a girlfriend she was supportive of me. I told her a few years ago that I had become atheist and she still was accepting of me too although a little surprised ("I thought you said you were agnostic"--which I said earlier). We sometimes had discussions about our views and beliefs. I felt like we supported each other's life transitions while still being honest about our own and actually it is a great thing to really relate with someone different, rather than just surround myself with people who are just like me. I haven't seen her as much in recent years but she was my friend for a long time and I still have a high opinion of her. I think I was lucky to have that kind of acceptance from a religious friend. Not all have been so accepting but the worst I've had was a pen pal who just didnt' write me back. If he doesn't try to get you saved and if you 2 can have discussions without getting explosively angry (or back off when it does start getting personal), I think it can be OK.
Permalink Reply by Devil's Advocate on April 19, 2010 at 1:29pm
Man, is it that difficult to figure out. Just tell him that you do not believe in God and do not wish to participate in reading the Bool of Eli or the like. What the heck?
Permalink Reply by Vincent on April 19, 2010 at 3:44pm
If I may express my humble oppinion,
Deal with utmost patience, like you would do with children. It is a matter of "conditioning" of the brain, you can't argue, you can't reason with them if you are not religious and specially if you never have been one.It is a parallel dimension. We are all here, but not exactly.
A lot could be said on the subject, but most of it will be explaining it "why" to do so, but you should know why.
Permalink Reply by Broc Maples on April 21, 2010 at 8:16pm
everything they have said on here is very great advice. Always remember to be patient and to be constructive with your criticism. I would only add (as an ex-christian) that you have a unique story to tell and you can use your previous perspectives and understanding to sympathize with whoever you are talking to. i deal with Christians all the time, a lot of whom are some of my best friends, and they provide for great debates. be calm, be informed, and be patient.
Permalink Reply by faith the atheist on April 21, 2010 at 9:09pm
Only one other person is sure that I'm atheist and when she found out our friendship was over!So now I'm really scared to tell my mother about my atheism.i think that she kind of knows.Hopefully your friend is more understanding.

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