My experience with an evangelistic Holy Rollers (Revivalist) Church was amusing.

I was in it almost 2 years and even performed some street preaching for them, which was considered a duty. Though after a while, things became obvious and members started to appear somewhat insane to me, because I kept in touch with the outside world, which many members had isolated themselves from under the direction of their guiding elders. I ignored my guide's instructions, to his bemusement.

I originally joined because I was 19, still homeless and broke, but I smoked the equivalent of 2 packets of cigarettes a day, which used up all of my social security payments of $10 per week. So I wanted to give up smoking, but I was too addicted, from all my time at being the Bong/Joint chef at parties, where I spent nearly 3 years stoned without paying a cent for my dope, because I'd enter a party or two a day and my job was to pack the bong and roll joints for the group in the circle, for which payment was getting stoned for free! But that's another joke/story there too.

So an elderly friend stated he gave up smoking through receiving the Holy Spirit.  So I went along to the Revivalist Church, got baptized by being submerged in water and after much trying to say Hallelujah repeatedly and fast, managed to loosen up my tongue and I started speaking in tongues (glossolalia).

I sort of realized what was happening there so didn't really think my speaking in tongues was any kind of soul speaking to God and it really didn't stop my smoking, but I kept going to Church and even attended their theology, Bible classes, just in case I wasn't doing it right or applying myself properly, to give up smoking like my older friend.

But, I found out from his son, that he really hadn't given up smoking but smoked at home and sprayed air freshener to avoid visitors noticing it.  So my friend was a fraud!!  Grrr.

I also discovered that an elderly lady who claimed that God rid her vegetable patch of pests was being misled badly. I was almost tempted to go around to her house and enjoy her completely pesticide free organically grown vegetables. But, one day when passing her house, I struck up a conversation with her neighbor, who was a boilermaker whose daughter I dated once.  He laughed when I told about the story his elderly neighbor was telling the congregation of God ridding her garden of pests.

He told me that she never used pesticides and her vegetables were full of pests and he was worried about them spreading to his vegetables, so the only time she was out was when she was at church, when he would climb over the fence and drench her vegetables with pesticide.  So I was glad I didn't sit down to a so called pesticide free meal with her.  Though it certainly wasn't any Holy Spirit ridding her crop of pests.

So I set up an experiment to demonstrate how devious and deceptive were the Ministers and Pastors, thus the Church!

In those days the church taught that the Holy Spirit gave a member of the congregation the power of interpreting tongues, so he (always somebody near the top) would relay back to the congregation what was interpreted from the tongue speak of the person making the babbling noise.

So I set up a sting: Firstly I told simple lies to people I knew were near the Pastor with the power of Interpreting tongue speak. Like, I'd found a job, found a place to live and a girlfriend.

Next I practiced mixing known words or items into my glossolalia so I knew it definitely not a foreign language like Ancient, Hebrew as they tried to convince me it was. For good measure I mixed an unhealthy amount of swearing into it, mostly the "F" and "C" words.

Okey, it came to my turn to speak in tongues and I really went to town, Apples, Bananas, Pineapples, at least a  dozen F's and C's mixed in as well.  Definitely not my soul talking, LOL.

The pastor arose and translated my Holy Spirit's message to God as: "Praise The Lord! Thank you oh lord for a chance at a new life with a job, a place to live and loving relationship with my new girlfriend."    ROFL,  I chuckled to myself.

Rose to my feet and Faced the entire congregation and loudly stated:  Fuck You All!  And walked past them as they all looked at me in total shock!

ROFL!

Funny how they actually stopped me in the street a couple of days later and tried to get me to return to their church.

Evidently they didn't get the message! 

I just laughed at them:  ROFL!

Tags: Christian, Deception, Glossolalia, God, Holy, In, Pentecostal, Revivalist, Speaking, Spirit, More…Tongues

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Can't stop laughing at that elderly lady.

I found religion is massive fruad because of all the unanswered prayers I asked god "allah" to give me, but as usual there was no answer. 

Then there was the problem of science and religion , they are exactly against each other , all holy books are filled with rubbish.

Lastly I had a problem with how religion treated women , something I have observed with my own eyes.

During my church days I was so worried about never being able to receive the baptism of the Holy Goat. I couldn't even get a "bleet" so maybe I was doing it wrong. I do know that you can't ever say anything bad about this character. LOL

I finally became atheist when I realized there is no truth in Genesis. Creation (even if real) could never have happened that way. It all contradicts, and the need of saviors, a god, redemption of fallen man, etc. happened because of a woman, some fruit, and a talking snake. Who the hell would believe that? They taught it to me all my life, but when you realize it to be a MYTH you find that SALVATION and REDEMPTION must also be a myth!

If there is no need of salvation or redemption then there is no need of a god. Especially a god that there is no evidence for. Trust me. There is no evidence of any deity anywhere. Not even one.

Now that is freakin' funny dennis.......(NOT EVEN A BLEEP?) LOL! I thought I was marked for hell because I could not do it without obviously faking it........used to think it was just bullshit and thought I was going to hell for blasphemy..........got into the holy spirit they ell at liquor stores to compensate until I realized it is ok not to believe in bullshit........the damage indoctrination does to children is uncalled for.....and to think I passed it on to my children!

holy spirit they ell at liquor stores

Cute :)
They could sell red wine + vodka with the brand name "Holy Spirit" :)
Or when MJ is legalized, THC + red wine, label it "High Spirits".

What a story!  I hope being nonreligious has been better for you!

Love the story, thanks!

All types of Christianity are not the same. To jump from a bad experience from some misguided Christian Churches to --- there is no God, is the wrong direction.

You could have easily tried finding a Church with more truth than saying - this proves there is no God. Which does not prove he does not exist.

Life without God is not a happy life. Neither will be eternity. One thing to think about. What if there is a God. How long will you regret turning people away from him?

WRONG John! 

I knew all Christianity was bogus as I studied the history of religion.

Buddhism started Christianity, not Jesus.

Whether Jesus Christ lived or not, Buddhism would have found it's way into the population by hook or by crook.  If it wasn't Jeshua, it would have been somebody else living at the time.

All religions are Bogus, they are all born from contaminated mindware.

There can be no Hell, nor pain after death, because the several structures that create the illusion of pain, remain in the dead corpse.

Pain is an illusion, to protect vital organs and warn the holder of those organs that they are being attacked.  Pain has no purpose outside of the physical body.

We can shut pain off completely, whether by chemical endorphins like in the state of Shock, or by breaking the connections to the brain structure in the prefrontal cortex that interprets the signals as pain.

Besides, if Hell really did exist, it would be the place to go to find friends and relatives (loved ones) because 98% of them would be there.  Heaven would be a lonely place indeed!

LOL!   :-D  You are a fraud M8!   Theist!

Hey, John Johnson. Atheists did not come to their beliefs because of some bad experience.

Studied theology at my Christian boarding school, so I realized that the form of Christianity that fake Pentecostal Cult was teaching at their theology was dodgy indeed.

They don't know what the Pentecost was really about for starters.

It was nothing to do with wagging tongues and using glossolalia as a pretend language for their false holy spirit.

It was to do with a gathering of Jewish people who all had different second languages from different regions, realizing that they all had the same first language (Hebrew) handed down to them by their parents.

Just like most Chinese children in Australia have English as their second language and Mandarin or Cantonese as their first language.

It was likely a gas pocket explosion that caused one of them to yell in Hebrew and they all understood him, because of their parents influence in teaching that language to them as young children.

None of those speaking in Glossolalia, had that taught to them as their first language, so it is all FRAUDULENT!

As anybody knows when putting their fingers over a bunsen burner, and lighting it, it shows as flames dancing on the tips of your fingers, the same effect would occur if the gas was coming up from under people, they would have dancing flames above their heads.

Thus the story of the Pentecost, where Jewish people discovered they have a common first language.

The Speaking in Tongues sects have got the story of the Pentecost all Fucked Up!

As Karl Marx put it (I'm paraphrasing here because I can't remember the exact words) Religion Is The Opiate Of The Masses. People want to believe so bad they'll accept anything, and religious and political leaders have known this from the very beginning. The bigger the lie, the more people fall for it. Having fallen for it, they can't allow themselves to think about it nor allow anyone else to know they doubt and disobey. You pulled off a good one. Congratulations!

now that is some funny shitLOL! thanks for sharing! P.S. I quit smoking through smoking cessation classes at the V.A. and nicotine patches! PRAISE THE LAWD!

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