I remember sitting at a long table with my Wiccan friends for our monthly PNO (pagan night out) and explaining my reasons for leaving the pagan community. I was shocked when i was met with anger and hostility. The one response that sicks out in my head the most was "Your not an Atheist. Your just saying that for attention." I thought with a group that claimed to be the most accepting and peaceful of religions they would not in this manner. A few claimed that they love me unconditionally but never answer my phone calls or they have get togethers and not even invite me. Now that i have moved out of TN The is no contact with them and im he happiest i have ever been,

Tags: Ex-pagan, Leaving, Neo-pagan, Unacceptance, Wicca

Views: 728

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Hey, welcome back!

I have one (count them) one friend left from when I was a Neo-Pagan. I don't hear from her very often, but she's always cordial when we write each other.

One (now ex) friend wrote me a big, long email about how somehow I must have just not had enough "faith", and wasn't connecting with the "spirits". What's funny about that is that he once told me I was the most "sensitive" person he knew, besides himself, of course.

In general, when I started asking questions (questioning duality, what scholars actually know about pre-Christian religions in Europe, etc...) I got a lot of "You're overthinking... celebrate!" This reminded me of being told I should "Just have faith" when I was Catholic. I think the thing that prompted me to stop being a Neo-Pagan was the lack of support from people who should have offered it when my mother was dying. I hung on a bit longer, but not much.

It's really hard when people you depend on suddenly withdraw their support, or don't support you at all, isn't it?
Yes! It is. What turned me off to it was my noticing that people are capable of treating each other very poorly and with great disrespect regardless of their belief system. For many people I have met, being Pagan was like joining a different kind of club - a "religion from the other side of the tracks" if you will. The women liked the faries and goddess images and all the jewlery and flowing skirts(pardon my generalization) and they guys liked playing with swords and being macho in their own ancient yet "sensitive" way. I think a very high percentage of pagan men become so because they can be a part of a group and the women are more free with their sexuality than in monotheistic groups.

Yeah, I said it - most pagan guys become so in order to get laid - and I won't take it back.

I can't say it didn't happen, especially when more and more pagans are taking up polyamory, but it wasn't my primary focus. At least, I don't think it was.

I actually took the belief and ritual/symbolism part of it all quite seriously... but I think I was one of the few.

I've been lied to, cheated on, fucked over and blatantly disrespected by members of this tree-hugging, dirt worshiping "gentler" faith. I was even passed over for "promotion" because I wasn't screwing our "Druid." Corruption, greed and perversion are just as rampant in any religious organization, despite how unorganized it may claim to be.
OOps. I realized I didn't answer the thread's ultimate question.

I haven't mentioned it to any of them but I think they see the change. We don't talk much anyhow.
The women liked the faries and goddess images and all the jewlery and flowing skirts(pardon my generalization)

I liked the goddesses like Macha and Kali... the goddesses with teeth. I wasn't into dripping with silver jewelry and doing a Stevie Nicks imitation because I've always been fairly "butch". But yet... I know what you mean.

I think a very high percentage of pagan men become so because they can be a part of a group and the women are more free with their sexuality than in monotheistic groups.

Yep yep yep! I got sick of that shit early on.

I actually took the belief and ritual/symbolism part of it all quite seriously... but I think I was one of the few.

Me too. I actually did research, and found out that Wicca is not an "anciente path". By then, I was a Celtic Reconstructionalist Neo-Pagan (way back when, when the woman who created it created it, and often doesn't get credit now), by then... and the woman who created will tell you that a lot of what she does is only what she thinks they did. Honesty always gets my vote.

I've been lied to, cheated on, fucked over and blatantly disrespected by members of this tree-hugging, dirt worshiping "gentler" faith. I was even passed over for "promotion" because I wasn't screwing our "Druid." Corruption, greed and perversion are just as rampant in any religious organization, despite how unorganized it may claim to be.

Yep yep yep! I hear you!
I wasn't into dripping with silver jewelry and doing a Stevie Nicks imitation because I've always been fairly "butch". But yet... I know what you mean.

Funny you say that because one of the things we used to laugh about were the witches "dripping in pentacles."

On a side note, I always thought it was funny to see a dreamcatcher hanging from a car's rear-view mirror. Steer clear of those cars because the drivers might be asleep!
I'm glad there is someone who is amused by the same things I was amused by. I really took shit when I started laughing at some things that were fairly laughable.

Do you know if there's a Neo-Pagan name generator somewhere? I used to call certain people "Lord Big Dick" or "Lady Moonflow". I'd always been fairly anti-monarchy/anti-"nobility", so that a lot of people (mostly Wiccans) took on "Lord" and "Lady" as a title used to alternately irritate me/crack me up.


Dreamcatchers. Heh.
I noticed myself it was just full of pepole who really never grew up. I hate to say it but 90% of the pagans i knew really didnt have any asperations and havent really done much in thier lives.
I also have been screwed over by these pepole.
I really do think they caused my devorice from my first husband by allowing and encouraging him to sleep with one of the minor girls in the group behind my back. I was appaled.
(please excuse the typos Im having a bad "fibrofog" day today..lol"
I'm having an over 50 and can't find my reading specs day every other day. It's not like we're writing a master's thesis here. I'd rather see people participate than worry about typoes.
An actual generator: http://www.fjordstone.com/fjo/generator.html

A hilarious insider article about "craft names": http://www.widdershins.org/vol3iss4/m9710.htm
Heh. Thanks. I was thinking more along the lines of insulting names like "Lady Moonflow" and "Lord Bigdick".

A name generator of my making would have to incorporate some of the most common names, or at least, the names that were most common when I was a Neo-Pagan... like "Wolf" for a man (with other stuff...), or "Raven" for a woman (with other stuff).

Lady Pixie Moondrip's article was a hoot! I know someone who said he witnessed two women get into a fight about which one of them had been the last high priestess of Atlantis.
First of all, in an increasingly blase' and tolerant culture, it's becoming hard for white middle-class Americans to get that rush of self-righteous gratification that comes from pretending to be members of a persecuted minority; we may not be able to get burned at the stake by calling ourselves silly names, but at least we can get laughed at, and that's something.

Hah!

Then I went to the name generator. It gave me Serena Twilight Skye. I was Serena Black Cat. I still have that name on a few things, because nothing will change my love for black cats.
One good thing that some Neo-Pagans do is that they created a rescue group for black cats. I was shocked and appalled when I found out that one of the neighbor boys had been told that black cats are evil, and he recoiled form my sweet blackie. Evidently people of many different belief systems believe this bollox.

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