Hi. I'm trying this whole atheist socialization thing again. Last year, I tried at various times to become a regular at Pharyngula and at richarddawkins.net, but neither attempt quite stuck. In the latter, the forum upgrade confused me, which was disappointing, because after so many people objected to the forum upgrade, I really wanted to like it.
Anyway, so, here I am, trying to connect with atheists on the internet again. I'm a new mother, a comic book artist, and a nature enthusiast. I live on the coast, so coastal critters and marine life infatuate me right now. I have big dreams of becoming a nature illustrator someday, but I've been lax in the key element required to meet that goal - practicing.
I blame my son. He's a joy, but he doesn't tolerate Mama ignoring him with a pencil in her hand. Someday he'll go to preschool and then maybe I'll find more time to draw.
My history as an atheist is a bit muddled. Retrospectively, I realize I've been an atheist for many years. I found Christianity to be intolerably silly when I was in high school. But instead of abandoning religion altogether, I tried very hard to create a softer, more abstract spirituality. It was fun for a while, but never fulfilling. At some point, I began to tell people that I wasn't seeking any one truth, but rather I was seeking for the sake of seeking.
Obviously that statement was intended to put people off while I began the long, introspective process of giving up on spirituality entirely.
My husband is gravely disappointed that I've stopped seeking. I mean, much more disappointed than I'd ever expect him to be, considering that he spent the last 12 years being passively tolerant of my endless wacky explorations. My Zen meditations, my nature magic... gah, all sorts of wacky stuff. No, NOW he's upset. Now that I've declared myself done with all that.
He's slowly warming up, though. I still give him platitudes, like that I'm still spiritual deep inside, or that I might find something new once I'm done with atheism, but I think he's starting to realize that I'm still me and I've pretty much settled into a reason-based worldview.
I'm just happier now, and I think he can tell.