This is so ridiculously long. I don't even care if you read their stuff, just let me know how my reply sounds?
I will try to keep this short so you don't get lost in the multitude of words and be unable to comprehend due to whatever it is that makes people unable to understand when they start hurrying thru it! I apologize ahead of time for anything you find offensive, that is NEVER my intention!
I rant and rave at times in this message, Please Keep READING NO MATTER WHAT! you will never regret it if you read this all with an open mind and ask me a few questions.. no one can prove anything that is metaphysical, but you really must trust me! I was writing this as quickly as possible, with no regard to grammar, punctuation, or organization!
I hate to say it, but you never really loved God, and hence, he hid himself from you, because if you had loved him you would have 'that' very evidence you so badly wanted, the real physical PROOF that you were looking for, I have this proof, unfortunately it's non transferable, but I could never not believe because he has actually revealed himself to me in a way that if I were to tell you that there is no God... I would be lying to you, because there really is! That's the thing, it was never about going to church on sundays (which if you had really loved God you would have "studied to shew thyself approved unto him" and discovered that you were going on the wrong day... the sabbath is actually Saturday [7th day] but that is beside the point) The point is that God knew what your final decision was going to be long before you ever did! Maybe you haven't made your final decision about it yet and he is still yet to put you in awe as he reveals the mystery before your very eyes when you discover that you love him and would sacrifice EVERYTHING for him, even, and I stress, even if he NEVER revealed himself to you or answered a single one of your prayers simply because he has given you this life, you owe him everything, and because he is worthy. I don't think you understand what REAL faith is "even" after I broke my back writing that LONG FREAKIN' Letter to you. Like I said before, Faith is absolutely NOT, believing God is real without any evidence, Faith is the gift you receive from God after you have proven yourself to him, your heart, soul, mind, and all possible sacrifices. You would have had to at one point made a decision in your mind that it didn't matter what you cared about or desired, whatever god asked of you, you would be willing to do it without question.
If God took you up on the mountain and told YOU to sacrifice your child to him, I'm sad to have to be the one to tell you this, but you never would have had the faith to trust him and plunge that knife down into your child. Why do you feel that you deserve to receive the greatest sacrifice of ALL!
I apologize for this is hard for anyone to accept and believe. But I promise you if you had faith the size of a mustard seed in what I am telling you, then you would believe that I really have faith in God like previously described... I have actually sacrificed all the things I loved in life for God, and only after I changed from my sinful self (which I was unaware of at the time) to my obedient, faithfulness in God, where I say in my mind that I am ready to give up everything... My Life, My Friends, My Family, My Hopes, My Dreams, My Desires, My Needs, My Comfort, My Possessions..... EVERYTHING.... without a second thought for God. This is the kind of faith necessary to see God. I promise you God knew every thought you would ever have about him and what you would be willing to do for him and sacrifice long before the creation of the universe, But I don't... so maybe it's not too late for you to see him. I would like you to read these Bible Scripture which I have carefully selected just for you. Please don't give up on God yet, It's never too late to stop rebelling against him and just let go of everything else that you are desperately hanging on to and there is real life waiting for you, pure, perfect, eternal! You have to know that God is real to have have faith in him, other wise what are you putting your faith into, something that you aren't sure is real or not, that is no faith at all, I am sorry that you have not experienced it for real but you can if you really start believing I PROMISE, but there are very few people who are ABLE to do this properly, first you have to stop being in love with your life here in this fallen world and put God FIRST above all other things without an expectation of getting something out of it. I just don't believe you ever really had faith like that, even if you think you did, simply because you tell me you have never experience God and received your personal PROOF that he is real. HE IS REAL! I am not delusional, I could tell you my life story and maybe you would understand but all the evidence in the world won't mean a thing if God doesn't want you to have the proof, He holds all the cards not me, If he doesn't allow me to make your faith real then i am powerless to go against his will! there are few people who find God for REAL! read these please and I hope you change your mind!
"Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and FEW there be that find it."
"For many are called, but few are chosen."
"3Then said one unto him, Lord, are there few that be saved? And he said unto them,
"Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be able."
(I just want to help you, but if you have already made up your mind there is nothing I can do.... Doubt is a very dangerous thing, if you can change what you feel about the existence of God in your heart, I can answer any question you send to me, God will help me, but you have to make the first move!)
"They shall cast their silver in the streets, and their gold shall be removed: their silver and their gold shall not be able to deliver them in the day of the wrath of the LORD: they shall not satisfy their souls, neither fill their bowels: because it is the stumblingblock of their iniquity."
(I'm not accusing you of anything, but I wonder how much you care about money?.... do you trust in money to protect and sustain your life, or God? did you always? How much time did you sacrifice searching for truth, did you only listen to what they taught you in church, or did you stay up late through the nights for years studying the word to fulfill the emptiness of not understanding certain parts of it! Did you attend Bible studies? did you ask questions about what the meanings of Christian celebrations are and where they came from.... like easter? did you know that the easter eggs, hot cross buns, and the easter ham have nothing to do with Christianity but are rather a pagan celebration honoring another God? That Christ was not born on Christmas but rather that that is the birthday of Nimrod? That if Christ died on Good Friday in the afternoon and was resurrected on easter sunday that he couldn't possible have been in the ground for 3 days and 3 nights? he was actually put in the grave on Wednesday, was resurrected on Saturday (the Lords Day) and they just discovered his empty tomb on sunday! did you know that the pope attempted to change the Gods holy sabbath from Saturday to Sunday back in the 300's A.D. and they made all sorts of laws prohibiting people to worship on the actually Sabbath, and in a letter written by the pope he actually claims that this is his "MARK" of authority showing that he has more authority than God? did you ever question these things and research them! Please don't doubt what I am telling you. all this stuff is true! I have devoted my whole life to discovering the TRUTH. God has guided me the whole way, he is REAL! I have devoted the rest of my time here in this world (that I don't love) to saving as many lost sinners as humanly possible! Because I love my neighbour as myself, and I love my enemies also. I pray for them, that they might wake up and start questioning all the evil things that happen in this world that they are totally blind to, like how our government is selling illegal drugs to our children and using psychological knowledge to get them using the drug by telling them not to do it at the certain age when kids are most likely to do the opposite of what you tell them.. its actually called "THE FORBIDDEN FRUIT EFFECT". My brother won the best essay in the d.a.r.e. competition back then. Kind of interesting how everyone started using drugs right after we had the dare program. My brother died from heroin! There is many MANY MANY more deceptions put here by Satan to deceive the world, I could tell you about them all day long. Basically he uses lies, our own desires, temptations to trick people in to doubting God's word, he's been doing it from the very beginning, I bet he has you fooled just like my mother to believe that he doesn't even exist. That is how he destroys us, I am watching him do it to mother and father right now.
Do you ever wonder why Marijuana, (a perfect and safe medicine put here by God) is illegal, and people have to fight and suffer just to be able to use it when they are sick and in need. And why everyone in America is hooked on prescription medications for every possible condition imaginable. Do you know that if you take too many of ANY fda approved drug you will DIE! But if you use 50 pounds of marijuana (if you can without falling asleep first) you will only get real bad anxiety but you will NEVER die, and no one has ever died from it! SATAN makes the world like this, and he uses weak minded people to do his work for him... do you question the world you live in and the motives of the people running it, or only God?
Do you think about these things?
Do you know anything about the illuminati... don't believe what Dan Brown tells you about them in his book/movie "Angels and Demons"... Dan Brown is a professed satanist. He does not try to deny this.
I have researched the illuminati more than any other person I have EVER encountered. let me tell you how there plan operates, and why they are so good at not leaving evidence.
They surround certain key individuals (usually people who become musicians, artists, actors, or successful politicians/business men, even preachers) with their 'agents' we'll call them, posing as friends or lovers or co-workers!
(The Bible says that Satan can come disguised as an angel of light)
and then they manipulate these individual, Controlling them by their own desires, character flaws, (things that they never learned from the Bible)
They help them to do great things like write music, or make movies (which always happen to lead people away from God and not to him) and when the work is nearly complete and they have obtained the property rights to it thru deceitful and manipulative means, they actually have them assassinated and make it look like either a strange accident or a suicide or something, maybe a drug overdose, its almost always in the media and its almost always controversial! This is how they fund their operation and rule the world, you do know that the Bible says that Satan runs the governments of this world right?
People who I know for sure that they have done this to!
Kurt Cobain (from Nirvana)
Bruce Lee (martial artist)
Brandon Lee (his son)
Janis Joplin (singer)
Jimmy Hendrix (you know)
The list really goes on and on and is too numerous and to obvious that it is real, how many celebrities can you speculate have sold their souls?! You need only to open up your eyes and look at whats going on to see it. Rock and Roll really was a tool of the devil, they weren't just saying that!
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he doesn't exist!
The Illuminati really are demons, but the catholic church aren't the angels!
There is no way the Illuminati could pull off what they do with out leaving evidence if they were just people... conspiracy theories set aside... the great conspiracy, is and always has been run by Satan... the 'Father of Lies'!
The Bible says he would fool the whole world, it is peoples sins that make them vulnerable to Satan's fiery darts!
Gods Word is the only defense against Satan and ourselves... it is our darkened hearts and his deceptions that lead us into destruction. Blessed are the people who keep God's law without realizing they are doing it, they are the ones who don't get destroyed along with everyone else... but they are still at risk of dying in the second death if they don't start believing and obeying God. Eternal life is only possible thru the salvation Jesus Christ offers by sacrificing everything for you and conquering death and sin. The people who do good but don't believe will still die when judgment comes, they just won't suffer for eternity like unrepentant sinners who have committed serious evil... everyone gets what they deserve, there are no unfair judgments!
check these scripture out!
"But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."
"And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell."
God actually has the power to destroy your soul, you won't be suffering for all eternity, you just won't exist anymore... FOREVER!
Eternal punishment.... not existing forever.
Of coarse it is also possible for really bad people to suffer for eternity!
With God anything is possible, he has no limits, no boundaries,.. he does what he wants, but he is fair and just!
He can destroy souls and no one else can.
Don't give Satan more credit than he is due, but also, don't ignore him!
Please ask me some questions about your doubts. I want to help! I don't want anyone to suffer or not exist when judgment comes, but it is up to each person to recognize Satan, their own sins, and their disobedience to God!
With true love for God, unconditional true love... comes true life, and also the gift of faith, which is really that evidence you never received. and after that comes the gift of discernment which will guide you thru Satan's deceptions unharmed, unburned, unaffected!
God is real, Satan IS REAL! Don't be decieved..
The Bible says that Satan deceives the WHOLE WORLD.
I know I got deceived, what do you know?
You have to discern your way out of your strong delusions... satan wants you to feel safe, secure, trusting in this dying world...
Just remember when they say "Peace and Safety" then comes sudden destruction.... make no mistake we are living in the last days, they are about to say Peace and Safety... watch therefore for you know not what hour your lord comes.... save yourself, save your family, strive to understand all these things, search out the Good and the Evil... PRAY PRAY PRAY, for angels to come and Guide you... BELIEVE... with all your heart, mind, and soul.... seek in this same manner... you can do it... I don't want your money, I don't want your church attendance, I don't want ANYTHING, save to restore your relationship with God, your creator.. so that you might be saved and go home, to the perfect life you were meant to live in communion with the family of God, in the Body of Christ... don't give up yet, you can still find God.... seek and you will find, knock the door WILL open... you gotta have real faith.... please Pray, start obeying the word and he will reveal himself to you, but you need TRUE LOVE... you have to sacrifice everything in your mind or that love will not be real.... you have to be willing. Stop rebelling for your sake, for you families sake... my mom didn't believe, she didn't teach us about God... my brother didn't survive..... I barely made it! I had to find God all on my own, I was saved by grace, not works..... I was one of the worst sinners. Works are the result of salvation, not the other way around.. you were trying to do things backwards.
But faith without works are dead, listen to this scripture!
"For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."
You still have your soul, don't gain the world and lose it.
"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"
"For what is a man advantaged, if he gain the whole world, and lose himself, or be cast away?"
Stop being in love with your life here, it's only temporary... you have the proof of that right!
If you die and there is no God, then you wouldn't even know that you wasted your time giving everything in this existence to him... but if there is a god, and this is a BIG IF considering I know that there is one for SURE, you will have gained the only thing that could ever matter, the right to life in his kingdom, the right not to be destroyed or made to suffer! I don't think you will burn forever in hell with fire and brimstone, I would guess you would be one of the people who just doesn't get to exist anymore, but I don't know what you have done, how bad your sins are! I am NOT THE JUDGE! God WILL JUDGE YOU, make no mistake.... this is not just some fairy tale, this is real! I know it for certain, I love everyone and don't want anyone to die, it's no delusion. God is REAL! Please believe me, take this seriously, why can't people trust, is it because they have been hurt by so many evil people that they build a wall around themselves and only trust their own senses? your senses deceive you I PROMISE. try God again!
Goodbye, I hope I help you somewhere in my ranting and ravings, and I hope you see that my intentions are true and pure, my faith unshakable, my convictions solid, my evidence of God is real! He has proven himself to me because I have proven myself to him! Surrender all! before time runs out,... its running out right now! don't be afraid, be confident in the Lord, he will save you if you have faith the size of a mustard seed! you have to make it REAL SOMEHOW, you have to look closer for God!
This is you keeping it short? lol. If God loved me, why hide himself? And I'm sorry but a feeling of love is NOT proof - it's a feeling. I feel scared sometimes when there's nothing to be afraid of. Alcoholics feel happy when they catch a buzz, but I wouldn't call that proof that alcohol is beneficial, or that the feeling is based in true lifestyle happiness. By saying god knew my final decision regarding faith before I did, you sound like you're following Calvinistic predestiny. If that's the case, aren't the saved and unsaved determined long before I'm born? And if that's true, why preach or try to convert me? And there are definitely things I would not sacrifice for god - my son, my sanity, my self-respect, my intellect, my critical thinking skills. There are more - these are just the first that come to mind. Any god that would ASK me to murder my child is horrific. I'm sorry but the story of Abraham and Isaac makes me want to vomit or cry. Really truly think about this for a moment, please. If a man in your church came in one day and said "I killed my son this weekend, but it's okay - God told me to" would you think he was a man of faith, or would you think he was a murderer listening to voices in his head? I get worried when people act like murder in the name of god is somehow different from any other kind of murder. As an atheist, I believe life is incredibly precious, in part because I don't believe in any afterlife. I think this is the one chance at mortality my son has, so no, I wouldn't let the voices in my head lead me to kill him. When that does happen, we lock people up, be it mothers suffering from post-partum depression or sociopaths. Murder=wrong, period. (See? Atheists DO have moral standards!)
You describe being willing to give up friends, family, dreams, desires, etc. for your god. I find this incredibly bleak and grim - not hopeful and admirable. I think it's depressing you're willing to give up everything of value in this life for the hope of an afterlife we have no evidence will occur. Also, I'm sure your friends and family would miss you if you "sacrificed them" (and hopefully you don't mean that in an Abraham "let's kill our kids!" kind of way, because if you do and you're a parent, I'm gonna need to inform Child Services about you).
Regarding your bible verses - first I must say that I think the bible was written by semi-literate bronze age men with very little understanding of the natural world. I don't in any way, shape, or form believe it to be the inspired Word of God. Second, what kind of god sets up a system whereby MOST people go to hell? A loving one? I don't think so.
Regarding money - it sure is nice to have enough of it to pay bills, eat, and care for my child. Growing up my family put more faith in god than in anything, including door locks, seat belts, savings accounts, etc. My childhood sucked beyond the telling (although I'm trying to tell that story now, and I'll be sure to send you ordering information once my manuscript is available for sale! Look for "Exodus from Zion" by Angie Jackson soon!) And no, I didn't just listen to Sunday School (if you remember from my last email, I actually *taught* Sunday School, but that's beside the point). I pored through the scriptures with the Zondervan Concordance. I prayed, I searched, I begged. I studied and read and found weird contradictions and complications. I'm well aware that Easter is celebrated on the Spring Equinox, and Christmas near the Winter Solstice, two decidedly unchristian celebrations. Growing up I was never told about Santa and we had no Christmas tree. Same with the easter bunny. I don't know how to explain this to you properly - I was REALLY INTO IT. And I'm smart. I invested more of myself than I now care to admit in "getting right with god" and having a relitionship with "my lord and savior". Faith was not a sunday morning thing for me - it was a 24/7/365 for over 20 years. I GET IT. I just don't think it's *true*. Big, important, difference. I'm sorry about your brother. My older brother became addicted to heroin as well. Fortunately, he quit and pulled through. Now he's a physicist and agnostic. I don't however believe in any way (because I have no proof or evidence to back it up) that the government is pushing illegal drugs on children. Why would they? Remember, they're ILLEGAL - criminal. Our prison systems are overcrowded, and the majority of people in them are there for drug possession or trafficking charges, so I don't think it makes sense that the government would encourage this expense by getting future voters hooked on drugs.
Why does your god allow Satan to exist, if he's so powerful and so deceptive and destructive? Since you have devoted yourself so fully (at the expense of loving this world, which is actually pretty neat despite the flaws) to learning the "TRUTH" maybe you have an answer for why a loving god, who supposedly wants to save mankind and have us in heaven with him, would allow satan to lead so many astray, and do so little to prevent it? Did you watch the video I attached to my last email? Somehow I doubt it... I agree that marijuana should be legalized, or at the least decriminalized. I think the reason FDA approved drugs are legal instead is because they can be patented, which means someone out there is making a ton of money off of them. It's a very crooked system and I think it needs to be overhauled. I'd like to see medical marijuana legal in all fifty states by the end of my life. That'd be great. But I don't think god or satan has anything to do with it (mostly because neither of them is in Congress).
I don't study the illuminati, and no practically nothing about them. Largely because I'm completely not interested. I've never read/seen "Angels and Demons" and frankly don't know who Dan Brown is. Remember from my last email, I'm a mother. Most of my time is spent caring for, playing with, loving on, reading to, bathing, tickling, and just enjoying my son. Studying an evil conspiracy is just way less fun. I *do* however devote quite a lot of time to the study of cults. If you'd ever like to have a conversation about Scientology, Church of Latter-Day Saints, Seventh Day Adventists, or the Moonies, then I'm all about it! Oh, and I don't believe in the existence of either angels or demons. You'll need to provide me with some kind of verifiable evidence that they exist before I can take your claims seriously at all. Really, you are indeed ranting and sound quite delusional to me (no offense meant, just deep concern).
Hang on a second - You said, "The people who do good but don't believe will still die when judgment comes, they just won't suffer for eternity like unrepentant sinners who have committed serious evil... everyone gets what they deserve, there are no unfair judgments!" I am FINE with this plan! I don't believe, I do good, I die? That's actually EXACTLY what I believe will happen to me. And as an upside, I don't have to waste my life listening to voices in my head, sacrificing my happiness while alive, or ya know, KILLING MY SON because some fuck-head deity likes getting hand jobs. Sorry but Yahweh is an unholy prick. So I'm gonna end with this. Really, why read more? I've already given your email way more time and attention than I normally would. You seem sincere, frighteningly so. I get that you believe these long emails are so form of selfless act. But if I'm just gonna die in the end and not go to hell anyway, why worry? I was already completely okay with that plan to begin with. And no, I don't believe in hell, but I believe that you do.
Saying something over and over again does not make it true. Saying it with CAPITAL LETTERS does not make it true. Saying you FEEL it does not count as proof. Babbling for thousands of words does not make your point more clear or more valid. I'm really okay with having no faith. It bothers me not one little bit. I hope someday you can be as content in this world as I am.
Peace - Tinkabella83