Having Surgery - How to reply (or should I) to "I'll pray for you"?

I'm having a hip replaced on 12/4. Everyone who finds out I'm having surgery seems to think it's necessary to offer me their prayers. I don't feel comfortable saying "thank you" for what I think is a total waste of time, but I don't want to just not acknowledge what they think is a good thing.

Any suggestions? Should I just let it pass, or should I respond in some way. A lot of these people are just acquaintences and probably don't realize they've never seen me in church!

I live in a small town and work for Mormans so I have to be a little careful with making my beliefs, or lack there of, known.

Thanks!

Views: 719

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Did you add a link?

2 replies... but you never told us how the surgery went???  It's not that we're checking on the efficacy of our prayers, but...  How did it go, K ? ?? ?

Thanks for asking, Mark. I've been enjoying the responses so much I didn't realize I hadn't mentioned that all went well and I'm on the mend. Going back to work part time next week. I spent three days in the hospital and two weeks at a rehab center and I've been home since the 21st. Recovery has gone very well.

Glad to hear all went well Kelly!  Happy, Healthy 2013 to you!~ Melinda

Here is the link to the Dear Abby article dealing with atheists and the "I'll pray for you" issue.  You'll have to scroll down roughly half a page to find it.  I've given my comment to what I feel is her less-than-considerate response here.  Frankly, I'm not certain that Abby is up with the times.

Thank them for their thoughts but with a smile ask them to pray for the doctor instead. From politics right into the local churches, those that say "they will pray for you" seldom do. It's an idiom of speech that is created by the religious belief system. (Everyone wants to keep that system alive for many reasons.) The stronger areas of these prayers are people seen in church with closed eyes and clinched fists, swinging their arms around and talking to themselves, claiming they are talking to God. I've often wondered if they are "forcing" God to do something for you?

You don't have to be rude or assertive, I would just say, "please don't, I prefer you not."
My brother has been battling cancer for the past two years, so I get this a lot. Usually I just smile and say "thanks", then change the subject. If someone says this to me, they obviously aren't close to me, so what do I care if they go home an waste their lives talking about my brother to their ceilings?
Although it's not worth the fight for me, it does irritate me often, and anger me occasionally. But the thing that really bugs me is that, if he makes it to remission, those same people will completely disregard both the doctors' hard work, recent medical advances, and my brother's fighting will to live, and give the credit to some old white-haired dude in the sky. It angers me, but it also confuses me how, when someone beats a disease, god is given the credit or the cure, but not blamed for the initial illness. People are strange...
Sorry for the rant!

Your rant is understandable. Stay strong re: your brother. This must be very hard, indeed -- I offer no advice in this -- I listen for yours.

Re: prayers of others - - Your response of "thanks" is the most appropriate and kind thing to offer. Christians also have this problem. When you feel like you are in a privileged position in God's kingdom, it is awkward when some  pseudo-Christian boastfully offers their prayer-services.  A good friend (when I was a Christian) assured me that a simple "thank you" was the best response and I have carried that advice with me into my current world-view. 

I understand your anger.  When there is a tragedy and people are interviewed on tv they often say, "thank god, I've been spared."  I wonder what they think of the people who haven't been spared?  Did god get them, have it in for them?  I'd like to be the one interviewing them and I would ask for clarification on that point.  In one case a tornado took the life of a little child and some were so grateful to god for "keeping them safe".  It boggles the mind!

Story, so many people believe 'the devil' gives cancer.  That is even more absurd to me!  So, their 'god' is so powerful he can take the cancer away if enough people beg he/she/it, but it's not powerful enough to stop 'the devil'?  Seriously nuts.

I'm very sorry your brother has cancer.  I can only imagine how hard that must be for not only him, but for all of you that love him.~ Melinda

I just posted a response to a similar question on this forum, and although I see you already have plenty of responses I'll go ahead and paste it below:

"I actually encounter that a lot (living in the bible belt) and I was hoping there would have been some answers to it already! It is a little risky to let anyone here know you don't believe. They just flat out are not accepting of nonbelievers. 

Maybe something like "I'm glad I will be in your thoughts" would be appropriate as it is polite and doesn't acknowledge the prayers. After a couple of times they may catch on that you are deliberately not acknowledging the prayer aspect of the comment and therefore may catch on that you are not a believer.

While I know they have good intentions, it is a bit off-putting for someone to just assume their religion applies to everyone and I think a kind comment that is not specifically religious is more polite to use. Such as: "thinking of you in this tough time" or "keeping you in my thoughts" because that certainly wouldn't offend anyone's religion or lack thereof.

If they word it as they will be praying for you as a response to finding out you are a nonbeliever, I am pretty sure that is meant as a sideways insult.

Sorry for the long response and babbling, just a few of my thoughts on the subject."

RSS

Support Atheist Nexus

Donate Today

Donate

 

Help Nexus When You Buy From Amazon

Amazon

 

© 2014   Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: Richard Haynes.

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service