Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on July 27, 2009 at 8:26am

True. I have heard of three-way romantic relationships. I'm not opposed to that.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on July 27, 2009 at 8:41am

Heh. Didn't think you were, Dallas. It's the one-way romantic relationships that are a wee bit draining.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on July 27, 2009 at 8:45am

BTW, I didn't mean "I'm not opposed to that." in a defensive sort of a way, but in a that's not a bad idea sort of a way. I guess all relationships, even friendship, can be draining at times, especially if you are the one doing all the giving.

Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on July 27, 2009 at 8:52am

I didn't think you did, Dallas. Just my oblique sense of humour.

Yes, relationships of any sort can be draining at times. It's why I try to be careful who I take on as a friend, let alone anything else.

Permalink Reply by Apeman Jim on October 24, 2010 at 10:04am

Ive wondered how that sort of thing would work. No one person can be all things to all people. I have wondered if there is a stable, long term, relationship possible with multiple persons wholly committed to the group dynamic.

Permalink Reply by dr kellie on August 20, 2010 at 5:56pm

I have a married couple (straight) that I have had 3 ways with on and off for the last few years. They were clients, and became friends, and we just all ended up in bed one night. It started off with me and the wife, flirting at a bar. I adore both of them, and they are both very attractive, and we have a loving, trusting relationship. The only rule to the game is that I don't get involved with his weiner, and that was never spoken, but it has held true.

We still do things socially, and we all get along great. And it is kind of fun to have our dirty little secret that NO ONE who knows us would believe.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on August 21, 2010 at 8:18pm

Sounds like a nice arrangement.

Permalink Reply by Jared Lardo on July 25, 2009 at 9:39pm

No, though in high school I'd wander around and one time I came back to where I'd sit around and leave my bag and there were, like, seven people in a sitting-on-laps - to - standing configuration and so the call of "Lunch orgy!" was created.

Permalink Reply by Sheryl on July 27, 2009 at 8:56am

I joined this group just so I could reply. Several years ago a male friend of mine had an invite to a "swingers club" and was curious but did not want to go alone. I saw on the flier that anyone was welcome whether they participated or not and being a curious person I just HAD to check this out. I was not disappointed. It took place at a normal looking house that was located in the middle of nowhere. There were about 20 cars in the parking area. When we entered we were asked if we were police and had to expose a body part to prove it!? We paid some donation as a couple. It was a normal house with a buffet of food that no one was eating. There were tv's everywhere with porn. We stepped down to a patio bar with a dance floor complete with a stripper's pole. The people there were all ages and races. They were very friendly and quick to make introductions. It felt like a normal bar at first. It did not take long before I noticed a dancing female dressed in lingerie, then soon after I saw a nude female nonchalantly walk through to the bar and back. Later, on the dance floor I saw a female fellating a man while she danced around the stripper pole! I have to say it was really exciting to be in this atmosphere as an observer. We walked around and there were private rooms, rooms where we could peer through the window like peeping toms watching couples. It was really incredible. It felt surreal. I don't think I would go again but I am glad I did go when I had the chance.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on July 27, 2009 at 9:04am

That sounds like a neat experience, and very liberating. It's nice to be in an environment where sexuality is celebrated instead of one in which it is feared, loathed, or repressed.

Permalink Reply by Dallas the Phallus on July 27, 2009 at 9:06am

Religion wants you to believe that feeling good is bad so that you feel guilt and shame. When you feel that, they can offer a balm for those feelings. It's all a lie, but a dangerous and destructive one.

Permalink Reply by Prog Rock Girl on August 20, 2010 at 8:38am

We should be careful not to just dismiss someone as prudish or sexually repressed just b/c they've examined the random-sex culture and didn't like what they saw. I say certain elements of the "sexually liberated" culture are just pressuring people to have sex instead of pressuring people not to have sex.

The swinger culture usually has a double standard about female vs male bisexuality. Girls are assumed to be bisexual (and some I've known have been expected to "perform" with another woman) while male bisexuality is taboo...my bi guy friends who did swinging stayed in the closet even when their girlfriends were bi. Sure that's the attitude of most of our society, but I'd hardly call it sexually liberated when people are still operating under the same prejudices.

Because of the double standard, there is more demand for females than males. I feel like it's sexist though I'm not sure who it's sexist toward. It's the same problem that polygamy has...what do you do with the extra males/females? There are so many couples looking for another girl...I've been approached by couples on OKcupid and thought "that's nice, I'm in a couple too"--it just seems kind of cheesy.

From what I've seen, the swinger culture can be a meat market, with people posting explicit pictures of themselves, and it's destroyed the self-esteem of some people I know ("sorry, your girlfriend is overweight") ("lose some weight honey, you're keeping me from swinging with attractive women").

I know I'm probably describing the sleaziest aspects of swinger culture. I have known some others who are in a swinging group of friends, who go on picnics and outings, all know each other pretty well...and also have orgies.

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