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Hard to stomach

My friend/coworker is a friendly, outgoing person, but doesn't use proper english (i.e., she do, he do) when she speaks or emails in the office. We work in a corporate environment, so I have tried to gently correct her on numerous occasions, but she doesn't appear to be interested in improving. What is equally bad is that she has a gold tooth with a heart in the middle. She is also obese and diabetic. We eat lunch together frequently, but it's becoming increasingly difficult to sit and watch her eat herself into a near diabetic coma. I thought diabetics are supposed to limit their sweets, but this lady buys a candy bar for dessert at lunch and an extra for a snack later. Yesterday, she brought pound cakes, grits and bacon in for breakfast and offered me some of her extras (which I politely declined). She has at least 2 sodas every day and she doesn't eat fruits, vegetables, seafood, wild or brown rice, salads or virtually anything that is not fried, cheesy or greasy. Of course, she doesn't exercise. I had another coworker that sat right next to me pass away from a heart attack and she, too, was obese. It's hard being friends with someone who doesn't care to improve themselves, but it's even harder to watch somebody eat themselves to death.

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Permalink Reply by zeeman barzell on July 14, 2011 at 2:23pm

Just try to focus on that tooth.

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Permalink Reply by booklover on July 14, 2011 at 2:54pm

Just to clarify, there are different types of diabetes. My son- 17 is a type 1 diabetic which is an auto-immune disease. He can have sugar, just has to count carbs and bolus (give insulin) for it. Type 2 is the lifestyle disease (although it can be inherited) which is SOOOO common now. Sounds like your co-worker has type 2. Sorry to be picky but I try to educate because calling it all 'diabetes' is unfair to type 1's (formerly call juvenile diabetes, but people can get it in their adult years, so they changed the name. The Bears' QB got it in his adulthood and he's sure physically fit! lol). It's like calling all cancers just cancer and not specifying which type.

I'm not picking on you! lol, just being a mom and educating people because I know how it affects my son.:)

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Permalink Reply by Kim D on July 15, 2011 at 3:15pm

I appreciate the info. I know that she takes the pills instead of insulin and she says that if she lost some weight, she could eventually get off the pills, so it does sound like Type 2. I think she checks her sugar level regularly because she says "My sugar level is high and I have to stop having so many sweets" but then she turns right around and buys the candy bars or pound cakes. I think she's addicted to sweets.

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Permalink Reply by booklover on July 15, 2011 at 4:10pm

Yes that's type 2. In Type 1 the body attacks its own insulin-producing cells and kills them so the person HAS to use insulin in order to live. This is a permanent condition unless they find a cure.

People like your co-worker produce insulin, but their body can't use it properly. Exercise and healthy eating (esp.becoming a vegan) can sometimes even stop the disease.

Thanks for listening and not being offended! Some people actually get mad that I want people to differentiate between the two types, but having people say ignorant things to my son like if he exercised more (he's not overweight even), or didn't eat a cupcake, he wouldn't be diabetic. It's the Momma Bear in me! lol. :)

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Permalink Reply by roland707 on July 15, 2011 at 10:28am

You might express some concern, but don't press. She's a grown-up woman. I know when I used to smoke, nothing would piss me off faster than someone trying to educate me about it.

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Permalink Reply by roland707 on July 16, 2011 at 11:06pm

Oh boy, I'm pissed now, Nerd. LOL

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Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on July 15, 2011 at 4:02pm

It sounds like she's happy the way that she is. Maybe there are things she could do to improve her health, but it doesn't sound as if she wants to. I do sympathize. My uncle (who recently died of lung cancer) smoked for 30 years after watching his dad die from lung cancer. Obviously, it was what he wanted to do even though he knew the outcome.

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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Nicole on July 17, 2011 at 4:04pm

The description of her eating habits managed to disgust me, and I'm not exactly a walking stick. But as everyone is saying, it's her body, and her choice. Not everyone wants to try to live to be a centurion. Some people would rather die young while enjoying life than live to an old age fretting about their health. *shrug*

What you might want to do is not be around when she's eating if that bothers you. The only thing I could see you doing is explaining to her that her language is not appropriate for the professional setting. If she doesn't want to fix that, either, then let her. She's only making a fool of herself, not of you.

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Permalink Reply by Smokey Dave-Bean on July 23, 2011 at 5:36am

This lady seems to have enough issues to deal with, without having someone judge and criticise her. Confrontational criticism of her lifestyle will not work. You will only alienate her. The biggest condition of change is called cognitive dissonance. When your mind has two or more conflicting ideas, it causes a lot of psychological discomfort (or dissonance/discord). She is almost certainly aware of what she should be eating/of how much exercise she needs, but her behaviour is the opposite of what she knows to be healthy. So when these two conflicting ideas become strong enough and persistent enough, the internal discomfort can only be relieved by her changing her own behaviour. And of course, it takes time. Recovery is a complex issue and is beset by relapse and recovery. Try and catch her doing something healthy and praise her for it. The gold tooth is her choice and you will have to deal with your own issues over that fact. If you want to help your friend, then finding out about the cycle of change is a good place for you to start. These links will take you to some excellent articles and relatively short reading. I hope this helps.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

http://www.diabetes.org.uk/upload/How%20we%20help/Magazines/Update/...