Every so often, I see blog posts crop up asking where all the atheist women are at, or why our presence is so lacking. Aside from the factors of who the media paints as
"the face of new atheism", there are things that prominent atheists say and do, that at least to me, make it seem like the atheist activist movement may not as progressive as it's made out to be.
*SCREENSHOTS ARE INCLUDED*
On his Facebook/Twitter, rapper Greydon Square posted that he had "raped four tacos". Out of the 31 comments that ensued, only 3 people found this problematic (myself, a woman and a man-yay). Everyone in opposition to us was male. Everyone else was basically offended that we were offended, which Greydon went on to quote from an Eminem song. He also went on to say that,
You havent been truly offended until someone starts shooting at you. Then you've been offended
He basically decided to not engage at all and try to shut down dialogue by offering his own conclusion about being offensive, and not addressing anything else.
In instances like this, is it really any wonder why more women aren't crawling out of the woodwork? I'm fine publicly identifying myself as an atheist. But why would I want to stand with anyone who makes lights of rape jokes and who people will just run to their defense when I have a problem with it? Also, why wouldn't I question whether all atheists are critical thinkers when so many publicly have such knee-jerk reactions that they'll defend examples of rape culture in action, (or whatever prejudice may pop up from an atheist) just because it's an atheist being questioned?
I just wanted to get this out there and provide an example of why women like myself may/do not feel inclusion in this community/movement.
I just really didnt understand the association of "rape" to include things that weren't capable of sex. This wasn't a "rape" joke, like you are making it out to be, this is simply me describing what I was doing to hardshell tacos and filled with beef. REALLY saying I just raped four tacos is a "rape" joke???
To whoever I offended I am sorry, but I do wonder how someone could think i meant something malicious by this.
I never said you made the statement on behalf of all atheists. I also never said men are the only victims of rape, either.
What I am
saying is that figureheads within the community can say bs that they should answer for that is exclusive to women [and other groups] and people will rush to their defense, without critically thinking about what they're defending.
And what I'm also saying is that when that bs happens, it shouldn't be any wonder why Group A, B, C seems to be absent from atheist discourse. I'm speaking as a woman who is tired of people minimizing rape like the phrase "raped four tacos" does, and so I addressed the statement and ensuing ones in that context. And the only reason that you Greydon are even addressing this is in my opinion is because, I took it outside of Facebook, and made it visible to more people. Otherwise you'd probably have continued on your "I find you offensive or finding me offensive" way and made your Taco Rape song.
If you don't consider what you said a joke, then we'll have a difference of opinion, but I surely consider it minimizing rape.
You don't have to be a rapist to participate in rape culture. Victim-blaming and minimizing rape are all a part of it.
Im still not sure what you are saying, you are saying that you slip and say you "killed it". As a combat vet, i could "take" offense to this statement. I would have to analyze the context in which you used it. Honestly, i didnt COME here to address this, i got a notification because my name was mentioned. Like I do ANYTIME my name is mentioned on the web. You are the one of the few, who took what I said in the context you did. Minimizing rape, like you are saying I did, is not what I was doing. I just think you have an axe to grind my friend. You even stated "I'm speaking as a woman who is tired of people minimizing rape" Once again, I WAS NOT MINIMIZING RAPING SOMEONE. What was I describing that was being raped? A piece of food. Not a place. Not a group. Not a sex. Not a religion. A food. SO with that, im minimizing rape?
Do you object when someone "murders" the English language? How many times has your "arm been twisted" to influence you to do something? Do you really take this sort of thing literally?
And what on Earth does it have to do with atheism, anyway? (Old, fat, obnoxious atheist woman here)
I'm fairly particular about the words I use. I like to try and say what I mean so there's no room for confusion. I may slip sometimes and say "killed it", but I generally catch myself. What I don't say things that minimize experiences and realities for entire groups of people I.e. Calling someone a Nazi who's not, or saying "I Hitlered that". Also, google "Where are the atheist women at?" and you'll find the posts that spurred me on to think about what Greydon said as it relates to the lack of women in the public atheist square. I'm not putting this on atheism itself, otherwise mentioning Greydon would have been irrelevant.