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Gopher Invasion Ethics

Gophers are turning my backyard into a lunar landscape. I don’t want to be cruel to these darling little critters, but I’ve had it. I’ve investigated traps, poison gas, and explosives. If I could somehow chase them off my property, they’d simply move to my nice neighbor’s yard and tear it up. Should I just accept them as pets?

Perhaps death isn’t so bad for a gopher; if the Lord keeps his eye on the sparrow, he must certainly keep it on the gopher as well. With faith the size of a mustard seed I can picture angels coming down to carry off the dead gophers to their own heaven—a manicured yard of infinite expanse? Solutions are appreciated.

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Permalink Reply by Jim B on May 1, 2011 at 8:51pm

Hi Hollyn,

I didn't consider that—and I've already spent a small fortune on high-quality grass. Now what am I supposed to do with all this grass?

Jim

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Permalink Reply by FreeThinker on April 28, 2011 at 5:47am

I don't know if it is true, but I've heard that if you take some Juicyfruit gum, twist it, and put it in the hole, the gophers will eat it and die. The claim says that you need to leave the gum in the foil wrapper and handle it with gloves so as not to get your scent on the gum.

I'm skeptical of this method, but for the low price, it is probably worth a shot.

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Permalink Reply by Goz on April 28, 2011 at 9:31pm

Nope,won't work. Rodents hate chewing on aluminum foil. They are also not stupid enough to eat something like that.

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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on April 29, 2011 at 5:33pm

I suggest putting a fence around the yard, then putting up a sign saying "Quiet: Prairie restoration project. Do not disturb the gophers." Then charge admission.

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Permalink Reply by Jim B on May 1, 2011 at 8:13pm

Hi Sentient Biped,

An excellent suggestion. Of course, an authentic prairie reconstruction project would require the introduction of bison, coyotes, jackrabbits, etc., which could make such a project cost prohibitive.

Jim

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Permalink Reply by Goz on May 1, 2011 at 10:20pm

Really,if yYou can get a wildlife habitat sign from Nature Conservancy by following some of their rules ..We did and because of the changes we made,we have WAY more wildlife in our yard than we used to. We have moles,raccoons,birds,squirrels,snakes,rabbits,turtles,opossums,lizards and deer..It's wild...And we like it that way!

Ok, back to the little gophers.

One way to entice them to move is to annoy them...How to do this? Get small radios and turn them to the most obnoxious radio stations,then shove them down the holes..That's often how people get flying squirrels and raccoons to leave their attics.

The drawback here is the gophers might just bury the radios and go about their business.

The problem is where do the gophers go? All of the habitat is slowly becoming people's backyards and no one seems to be willing to tolerate anything in their yards any more except dogs and cats.

A wildlife shelter is your best bet as far as help goes.

As to who is the invasive species,I'm saying it is not the gophers. They were there first.

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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on May 1, 2011 at 11:03pm

As a gardener, Im not a fan of moles, raccoons, or squirrels. Love frogs, turtles, birds. But if I didn't have a garden I would welcome them all.

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Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on May 1, 2011 at 11:02pm

Does your restoration have to be all at the same time? You can claim the gophers are just the first step. After they have tilled the soil for 20 years, you can add a bison. Oh wait, if it's just one, is it a unison?

Plus in order to be authentic you have to stop mowing too.

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Permalink Reply by Jim B on May 3, 2011 at 1:23am

Though the idea of a wildlife habitat behind the house is appealing to me (No more mowing!), I think I prefer a flat lawn that my young sons can practice baseball and soccer on. We do have a large bird feeder that gets cleaned out quickly--birds love those black sunflower seeds.

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Permalink Reply by Adam Stephens on May 1, 2011 at 11:31pm

With faith shouldn't you be able to call angels to take them away live?

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Permalink Reply by Jim B on May 2, 2011 at 6:03am

Hi Adam,

Let us turn to The Good Book, shall we? In Matthew 17:20 Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

I know in my original post I said that with faith the size of a mustard seed I can picture angels coming down to carry off the dead gophers, but that was wishful thinking. I admit with sorrow that I possess no such faith. Jesus and I had a falling out many years ago, and mustering up mustard seed-sized faith, or any faith at all, has been quite difficult for me. So, of course, it is my own fault, my lack of faith that prevents angel-assisted live gopher relocation.

Jim

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Permalink Reply by Gwaithmir on May 20, 2011 at 4:35pm

I occassionally see a weathervane/windmill device advertised in garden catalogs which is supposed to chase moles and gophers out of your yard by annoying or scaring them. The device transmits a thumping/scraping sound into the ground as the wind spins the fan blades. It's supposed to be effective over a 50' radius. I've never had need to actually test one of these gadgets, so I can't attest to its effectiveness. You might inquire at your local garden shop to see if they carry this product and try one out at one corner of your yard.