In an email, a Unitarian Universalist friend claimed that few people "actually know what a fundamentalist really is," so I wrote back to assure him that I do. Here is how I put it:
"Fundamentalist to me is someone who thinks that the Booble is the literal word of "God," that he sort of dictated the book to a prophet or scribe, and that since "God" is infallible, each and every word in the Booble is fact. That means that evolution is a myth. That means that Adam put a saddle on a brontosaurus and rode him (as is depicted in a museum somewhere in the Booble Belt). That means that having tattoos is sinful and having an abortion will send you straight to hell. That means that we should actively seek to bring about Armageddon in the Mideast so that we can experience the Rupture and go to Heeven. At least the Christers and the Mooselums agree on something! But whereas the Christer can have nothing but joy and peace in Heeven, the Mooselum only gets 72 virgins. Poor thing, after he wears them out, he can't get a single additional virgin. I would hate to be limited to 72 of anything. Sam Harris the atheist points out, however, that the "72 virgins" supposedly mentioned in the Kookran is actually a mistranslation and that what these mindless halfwits who become suicide bombers actually have in store for them is 72 white grapes."