"Yaaaay Joan!!!
Yaaaay here too.....our exterior renos start Wednesday!!!!"
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Fell in love with a NUT and got out ASAP!
I've always been an atheist (Sunday school was a crock and I had no problem saying so at the time)... but...
In May of 2009 I fell in love with someone I met at a conference. 3 short days of bliss. I don't fall in love easily. In fact, I was living with my ex-bf at the time. However when you get smacked in the face with the kind of compatibility and attraction that I did, well...
Anyway.
I live in Alberta, Canada. He lives in California. Let's call him Joey.
After much ado (prior to this conference) I finally had the push to break up with my ex I was living with. Turmoil ensued, of course, and I am finally cleaning up loose ends when Joey lets me know (about 2 months in) that he is a devout Catholic and is very disappointed I will not be going to heaven with him.
Me: Buh... you're HOW NUTS, you say?!!
My friend: He totally drank the Kool-Aid.
Excerpt from Joey's email:
"...the ultimate goal is to go to heaven and have eternal life."
I'm shocked, disappointed, and WAY too far into it to turn back.
So I pursue with hestitation. I question him and make him think about his comments on gay people having no rights and anyone who has an abortion is a murderer and everyone should be allowed to own as many guns as they want and carry them wherever... YUCK!! I realize within a couple of months this person is a blind, idiotic follower, without an original thought in his body, and I have NO RESPECT for him.
I give him up, and THANK YOU JEBUS (pun absolutely intended) I have never felt better in my whole life.
So this experience helped to remind me of my strength, my intelligence, and that thankfully my choices in life are based on reasoning. It has helped to remind me of my atheism which started when I was really young and has always been there - but now I feel strength from it because I have been reminded how great it is to not be a follower.
I am a thinker, and proud of it.
And now, quite happily, I am a step away from being engaged to the perfect man for me who is also a thinker. I am proud of him and respect his choices.
I win! Neener!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Zero_6ix on -
Reminds me of those who will blindly follow their faith no matter what it may say, even if those beliefs run counter to your life (I'm looking at you, obviously gay guy who hates himself because the bible says to. Life is awesome when you toss the rules that don't make the game any fun.)
A sad reminder that fear runs stronger than love. And anyone can tell you what to fear, but not who to love.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy Lynn on -
Sorry, I'm confused about the gay guy part... who's gay and hates themself? I'm a girl, so I'm not sure who the gay guy is...
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Permalink Reply by Zero_6ix on
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Just an example from my life. A co-worker of mine refuses to acknowledge his true self because he loves the bible. Needless to say, he engages in self-destruction because he can't love who he wants. You are the reverse of that.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy Lynn on
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Ah ha! I read ya now.
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Permalink Reply by Starscream on -
haha, um, not sure if it fits your situation, but that sounds like what a movie storyline manwhore would do to break off a relationship he has no intention of continuing. Maybe you've already crossed this off as not probable and I apologize for assuming anything, but most fundies can't wait 20 minutes to ask you to go to heaven with them; I'm surprised it took 2 months to come up. Most religious people assume the people around them think the same as them. Most of us non-believers are very aware of the thoughts and feelings of others. Like they say, "love is blind" and then you wake up sober.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy Lynn on
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Joey was absolutely confused as to me breaking up with him; he honestly believed his offer of a fundy life was appealing. It was only me that wanted to break it off, not him. It took me 2 'nice' breakups and then me finally telling him I don't respect him at all for him to accept it, so it wasn't just a tool he used.
Perhaps he was just as excited to convert someone as I was! :s
I think he kept it from me for a while being as he lives in California and said more than once that there were a lot of non-religious people there even though he "doesn't understand it". But I'd say he has been acclimatized to non-believers as far as I can tell.
I certainly can't turn the tables and say I'm acclimatized to fundy's! That shit comes up and I'm OUTTA there!
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Permalink Reply by amer muhammad on -
Tracy, it was good to be seprated. It is useless to keep interacting with the people you feel uneasy to be with. Morever his physical attachment with you was not strong enough to hold the relationship. Questions of ideology only rise when sexual attration subdues.
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Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on -
Good riddance to bad rubbage. I'm glad your happy now. Maybe he dated an atheist because he is secretly questioning his faith.
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Permalink Reply by Tracy Lynn on
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I really wish he was questioning his faith. That would have opened up the conversation a bit. But coming from his family, and even the area he grew up in (North Dakota) he would have to cut all ties to even question his religion, let alone actually reject it. And even sadder - he's leading an unhappy life! He hates his job, where he lives, and can't find anyone who thinks like him and has the same 'values' as he calls them. But he is for sure stuck. Very stuck.
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Permalink Reply by T Rose on -
When I was new to Atheism, I had a similar experience with a Catholic I allowed myself to fall in love with. I was misled at the beginning of the relationship (aka deluding myself) because he said he sometimes went to church but that it was really boring and he never talked about his beliefs. After pressing him for information on the subject of religion (which he did not want to discuss--another red flag) he said he thought a non-believer could go to heaven simply because a priest once told him that even Atheists can go to heaven if they lead good lives. I told him that's not what Catholics believed and he changed the subject. Eventually, I told him that he called himself a Catholic but acted like an Atheist and not only did I not believe in his god, I didn't believe in his Catholicism either.
Boy did that piss him off! He told (shouted at) me that he was a Catholic and loved going to "mass" and denied ever having said that it was boring. The relationship went downhill from there.
Like you said--a nut. But all the signs were there. I just chose to ignore them and went ahead and fell in love.
Best lyric/words ever written regarding love imo were by The Beatles. "Why tell me why do you not treat me right? Love has a nasty habit of disappearing overnight."
And it did.
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Permalink Reply by Ron Dicks on -
that's a McCartney line from "i'm looking through you" off the revolver album....I was more a Lennon guy...I am the walrus...
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Permalink Reply by T Rose on
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Yup. Great song. Seems like everyone wants to ignore the fact that as mysteriously as we "fall in love" we can, as quickly fall out of love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUtTKgKUWGU
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