Facebook Posting Queries: Would You Welcome Jesus Into Your Home? My Response: Maybe.

My response: Depends on which one you're talking about, the one I learned about as a child or the one who, today, lacks compassion, doesn't give a damn about the old and sick and poor, hates women, and won't make a place at his table for the sexual minorities. The first one is welcome any time. The second is a plague.

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Holy Jesus Christ! That's hilarious!

I don't think there's any difference b/w the "old" and the "new" Jesus(es.)

Sure, he's a celebrity, so I'd invite him in and tell him about the atrocities taking place in his name. Then maybe he could go to THOSE houses and set those people straight.

But chances are, one of my religious acquaintances sent him over to try and save me from hell. In which case I'd try to make a case for myself (assuming the scenario is real.) Maybe he'd autograph my Skeptic's Annotated Bible?

Kinda crazy that he'd be going door-to-door. Maybe he can appear at all the doors at the same time? Multiply himself like fishes?

What exactly is the point of this question anyway? Our schizophrenic neighbor stopped by one evening and I let him in for a few hours while he talked about his paranoid conspiracy theories (he wanted to ensure the neighbors would help each other out when the financial collapse happens.)

I'm with the paranoid neighbor. Collapse any day now.

Yeah, but some people can't get it right. At my house we were getting ready for passover. You know about that one. It's that yearly thing where the death angel comes around snopping and you have to stay locked up inside your house and paint your door post with lamb's blood. Luckily Walmart was having a special on that.

Then I noticed my neighbor, Charley, was doing his with red paint. OMG! "No, Charley. You're doing that wrong! It ain't gonna work Charley."

The "Top 40" International Smash Hit:   If Jesus Came To Your House

Typical village home in Palestine with attached guest room

We aren't stepping into Jesus' house, Flying Atheist; we're asking if you would welcome him in YOUR house. Off string, I just noticed that in the top left hand corner of the illo there is a kind of latent joke. The Nazarene might just as easily be a cloud formation for all anyone knows. That appears to be the intent of the collagist. And that opens a can of worms. It goes to the meme of seeing the prophet everywhere, the most common place a loaf or slice of bread. It explains why people keep seeing Elvis.

Ya know ... no, I don't think I would invite Jesus in.  Consider:

  • He wants me to hate everyone if I want to follow him, yet he claims to be all about love.  Cha, right.
  • He clearly thinks money is evil.  Sorry, but I don't do well without a couple shekels to rub together.
  • If we're to believe his holy book, Jesus is a masochist.  I have no desire to emulate a masochist.
  • This is a guy who cursed a fig tree for not producing a snack for him out of season.  Spoiled brat much?
  • He wants to keep me from going to a hell he created for the purpose of threatening me and others, so that we'd believe.  Gad, someone never took Psych 101.
  • And if I don't go to hell, I get to kiss his ass for the rest of eternity?  How about Door Number Three, Monty?

Try the house next door, bud.  We're fine just as we are here.

To let Jesus in I would have to see his ID card. How else would I know him?

Any man can put holes in his hands.

They could ... but they'll never play the piano again!

And they have a difficult time with candy.

Men actually do this in the most passionate reenactments of the passion of their prophet. In the Philippines and even parts of Spain and Latin America, they allow things to be driven into their palms and feet to show how strongly they identify with their Jesus.

Showing you photo ID is only necessary to vote.

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