Elvis Apotheosis: The Euhemerization of the Prophet of Tupelo

Euhemerus the Greek taught that all the gods are but heroic men whose deaths were simply not acceptable to the people, so the masses made deities of them.  How else might the apotheosis of "Jesus" be explained.  No, it was simply the process of a Levant that had become a Mecca of holy men, prophets, magicians, and soothsayers, all telling stories of birth and resurrection deities from Attis to Mithras, Osiris to Dionysus.  Jesus Christ was invented by word of mouth.  The many sightings of Elvis may be explained with reference to the appearance before Mary Magdalene, who had to have been very much in love with Jesus the person and probably in the Biblical sense, i.e. a person who simply could not accept his death.  When Thomas doubted, he was relying upon reason.  Thomas may have been the only somewhat sane disciple in the group.  (And by the way, the number 12 is sacred to almost all pagan groups.)