Three days ago I found out through the Internet that my ex-husband passed....he was also my best friend and the person who looked after me constantly. We were in contact by mail / phone every week during many years

My friends are trying to help but they don't understand that each time they tell me "It was God's will" they add to my  pain...some friends also started to pray in front of me; I am in so much pain I couldn't tell them their prayers are like knives in my heart. Another friend brought in an "evangelizer". I felt these people didn't come to hold my hand because they care for me but because they saw a chance to  gain a new member.

All of them know I am an Atheist.

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I am truly sorry for your loss. Let the memories of the time you shared together be your comfort. It truly sickens me when there is a tragedy, the vultures start circling.

"It was god's will."

"Bullshit.  It was something that happened.  That event had a reason and it was not god."

Sorry if I'm stepping on toes here, but the whole "god's will" line is past old with me.  I don't have a lot of people godding at me, but if you do and the above line helps, do please run with it.

A minute ago, I was going to say that "I wish there was something to say to make you feel better."  But on rethinking this, it it is good to feel a large loss when someone close dies.  The sense of loss is usually in proportion to how much that person affected your life positively.  I have lost friends and family like anyone else here on the board.  The thing I regret the most is that for only a few of these losses have I really felt a profound sense of loss.

"" The sense of loss is usually in proportion to how much that person affected your life positively.""""

Yes, and the sense of loss is huge.

Good on you for telling them. You can celebrate being an Atheist and feel good about it.

Like Australia's Shelley Segal. Saved.

Lyrics:

Say that i need to be saved
Say with me the devils got his way
I want to know how when you are praying
And when you are doomsdaying
How you think you know that someone is listening to what you are saying

CHORUS
So you think that you
Can tell us how to live our lives
Never questioning the source from which your moral code derives
You think that suffering is part of some great plan that's been devised
I wonder, I wonder
When we'll be rid of your lies


Say I need to hear the truth
A sales-pitch of eternal life and eternal youth
All these blessings you are bestowing
Upon the one you say is all-knowing
Are they really deserved if He is sending me where you say I am going?

CHORUS
So you think that you
Can tell us how to live our lives
Never questioning the source from which your moral code derives
You think that suffering is part of some great plan that's been devised
I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, I wonder

What will it take for you
To start opening your eyes
To start questioning the bullshit everyone around you buys
You think it's any of your business what goes on between my thighs?
I wonder, I wonder,
When we'll be rid of your lies

Yes, it was a car accident....I was able to talk to the funeral home, some friends and even the police...it happened in Wisconsin.

He was the best friend I ever had.

Yes, I felt the vultures were circling their pray.

Thank you all

I think the worst thing they say, Silvia, is this: "He's gone to a better place."  To those of us who are free-thinkers, agnostics, or atheists -- OK, non-believers is fine -- this commiseration is the most banal and disgusting.  There is no better place.  There is no repeat on the karmic recycling of a personal soul, or even that of the Buddhists, the skandas.  Like Marlowe's Promethean scholar in Doctor Fautus, I say, "For surely this is Hell and I am in't."  Religion poisons everything, including the death of loved ones.

I was told that as well....I can't believe people and their attempts to convert us. I guess the only excuse is that they are not aware of the pain they inflict on the grieving person.

Silvia:

Sorry for your loss. I know loss well, so I know what you're going through.

Thanks a lot

I am so sorry for your loss.   

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