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Does anyone know anything about custody and switching parents?

My mom and stepfather are trying hard to push my dad out of the picture completely. I've had to find ways to talk to him secretly and he even got a different phone number for me because both the parental figures in my house don't like and would kill me if they figured out that I talk to him.

They use his past as the excuse. "We don't want you in that lifestyle." Yes, he was very unreliable in the past. But this is now, and he's very different. His new wife and their baby have made him realize he has to grow up and start acting like an adult. He's very loving and a great parent. He gives everything a child needs.

This May, when school lets out, we're going to try to get me down there "just for a short stay". If my mom knew the actual plan she'd make sure all communication was cut off. But once I'm down there we're going to see how he can gain custody. I'm not sure if I'm legally old enough to choose, and I know my mother will either fight it, or let me switch. If anyone has any advice on how the custody laws work or how we can successfully have me placed in my dad's care, that would be greatly appreciated. He's had trouble with my mother keeping me away from him and lying about him, and I'm tired of her doing so. I want to be with my dad more than anything and I want to be able to get close to my stepmother and baby sister.

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Permalink Reply by Glen Rosenberg on September 30, 2012 at 9:35pm

Stormi, states have custody laws which are all pretty similar. Generally a court will award custody to the parent based on the best interest of the child. When there is a custody battle the court will sometimes appoint a person known as a guardian ad litem who observes and reports there findings to the court.

Your age is probably going to be very persuasive. In other words all things being equal the court is likely to grant the wishes of someone who has attained your age.

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Permalink Reply by Stormi C. on September 30, 2012 at 11:26pm

That's what I've been told by some people. I just wasn't sure because some have said the court doesn't care what the child wants

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Permalink Reply by Stormi C. on September 30, 2012 at 11:34pm

I have thought about emancipation before but I'm not even old enough for a job, so I couldn't support myself. Thank you for the link though! It did have helpful information and alternatives

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Permalink Reply by Luara on October 16, 2012 at 9:03pm

I had a boyfriend who had been married to someone, they had 2 kids, the boy was "allied" with his dad, the girl with her mom. They were both staying with the mom, who was abusive to the boy and wasn't feeding him (really! He was living on eggs from a neighbor's chickens and he was quite skinny.) He was 14 and he wanted to live with his dad.

I asked someone about this & I was told when the child is 14, it's no longer really a question of custody, the child can choose where they live.

The boy did end up living with his dad.

Maybe Social Services could help you to stay with your dad.