(hopefully a harmless distraction from the more serious stuff – so if you are always serious don’t read any further)
I had a student who wore a baseball cap to all my classes. At first I had an emotional response – who does this guy think he is wearing a baseball cap in my class. Then I got used to it and realized – it does not matter if he wears a cap or not. As long as he does the work and acts civilly in class - who cares?
Next thing you know I was a convert. So much so that I wore a hat and got tossed out of a dinner party. My experience is that most people ignore you when you do not remove your hat at a hockey game when the national anthem is being played. But, a few get downright venomous.
Is there some evolutionary advantage of requiring a hat to be removed at certain times or in some venues?
After visiting Hair Club for Men a few years ago and realizing it was way too expensive to buy a new wig every few months and getting locked into an expensive styling plan even more frequently, I decided to go with the immensely cheaper option of wearing stylish hats for my bald spot.
Nobody expects someone to remove their wig when the national anthem is being played – so why should they have to remove their hat which is being used for the same purpose. Removal of a hat for the anthem can be done by the most morally depraved person who has no respect at all for his countries laws. What is wrong with me substituting hat removal with my hand over my heart instead?
What is wrong with me wearing my hat at dinner?
I suspect the majority of people get enraged with people not removing their hat. I am curious as to what a group of freethinkers will say.
When I see a guy over 30 wearing a hat in a setting where most men would remove them, I just assume he is both vain, and bald. I like bald men and how they look. I don't like vain men, they always hog the mirror! ;-)
Dogly, if you really don't like me now because I am vain, then the following applies. If that was just a joke and I am being thick - then ignore this reply.
Sounds like emotional reasoning to me. It bothers you when I don't take off my hat. But, you don't have a good argument to make about the necessity for the removal of hats in certain social situations. So you make a generalization about something else. Just like in Muslim societies where a female not wearing the hijab may garner remarks about her sexual morals.
You don't know me. If I am tagged by my friends as being vain, they need to see a lot more of that irritating behavior before coming to that conclusion. I can't look at someone wearing a hat, wearing a certain style of outfit to mask being overweight, putting makeup over a scar, not wearing a hajib etc. and make a sweeping conclusion about a major component of their entire character.
For the record, lately I don't care as much about my bald spot. But still agree with George about the ridiculousness of the hat police and will continue to ignore them.
It was meant jokingly. Wearing a hat or not is unimportant. I think women care far less about how hirsute a fellow is than men think we do. We do like a confident man, and one that will give us a chance at the mirror! George Carlin was a treasure. He had wit, humor, wisdom, and character. I miss him. Leave your hat on Sir, it's just fine with me.
Funny clip of Carlin. His railing also makes sense to me. There are so many arbitrary rules in society that need to be ridiculed.
Wear your hat if you want to, but take it off at the dinner table if your wife asks you to. As for a hand over your heart and saying a pledge, what is that all about? I know we did it blindly for years but I do it no more.
When I was raising my children, I wanted them to know how to behave when in the presence of presidents, queens, potentates. I taught them the socially accepted behaviors. Knowing which fork to use, or when to salute, or when to offer a seat was part of the socialization processes they needed to know. I also wanted them to be able to be with people in the ghetto and with mentally ill, and with street people and homeless, so they went with me as I provided services for the disabled or unabled.
As circumstances turned out, they did meet the president, and one son and daughter have responsibilities that take them to high levels of government and business. They know what is expected of them to meet social protocols. They feel confident and competent.
Both my sons wear baseball caps in the house and at dinner and I couldn't care less. Their respect for me is there and the hat has nothing to do with respect for me. How they speak to me and how they treat me means far more and hat at dinner is not a symbol of respect, they are grown men and do what feels right for them. If I feel disrespected, I tell them what I am feeling, what I want from them, and it is up to them to respond any way they choose. Thankfully, my feelings matter to them and they do what makes me feel comfortable, or they tell me they are not responsible for my feelings. I agree with that. My feelings are mine. The trick is to build a lifestyle that they respect.
If I had anyone over for dinner, I would already have confidence that they were an okay kind of person. If they wore a hat at dinner, I wouldn't be silent and never invite them back. I would ask them why. If they gave a good reason like Russell Pangborn does, I would be okay with inviting them back.
Spud, I like your response.
From second grade through high school, I attended a fundamentalist Christian school that had a strict dress code. Girls were forced to wear dresses and skirts that could be no farther than four inches from the floor when kneeling. I ended up detesting dresses and skirts. I didn't like them prior to attending the Christian school. Now I find them unbearable and will not wear them unless I absolutely must.
At my fundy school, the boys were not allowed to wear hats or jeans with rivets on them. (The latter was not strictly enforced.) They also had to keep their shirts tucked in at all times.
The school dress code was bullshit. We would have received the same education had we all worn kilts and lederhosen. Dress codes based on societal constructs have nothing to do with the needs of the people. There are dress codes that reflect actual needs, but my school's dress code wasn't one of them.
For those who love headgear, I make decorations for hats: http://ladyhawkslair.com/conchos/conchos.html . I'm not currently checking my "business" email address, so PM me if you see something you likey-likey. I hope this tiny blurb was permitted. If not, it's fine to delete it. I'm not exactly making a killing on hat decorations.
Ladyhawkslair, these patterns and designs are just splendid! You have a real eye for color and composition! I hope you have a good marketing person!
Thank you. You're too kind. :) Unfortunately, I don't have a good marketing person.