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Death

As an Atheist, how do you deal with it?

It's definitely, definitely the hardest thing for me. I think about how crappy it is to have a mother who is hurt by my religious decisions, but how much worse would it be to realize that when I lose someone in my family, they're gone forever?

A lot of the Atheists I speak to don't think about it, or don't seem to mind. What do you think?
(Hopefully this isn't a duplicate thread.)

Tags: death

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Permalink Reply by Greg D on April 21, 2011 at 12:24am

I tend to celebrate peoples lives vs. their passing. Just think about how small the chances are that you even exist at all let alone spend part of your existence with them.

For me this helped me cherish life, and my time with those I care about.

I lost a friend this morning to cancer, and it is hard and he will be missed but I wouldn't have traded knowing him for the world!

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Permalink Reply by john wright on May 8, 2011 at 1:08pm

I think that we often disregard the old lessons left to us by great writers and philosophers because the bible is so prevalent that all that came before was nearly silenced. Think about Achilles from 'The Illiad'. Is Achilles dead? or Homer, for that matter? Achilles chose to die in order to live forever in our hearts.

Socrates did the same in order for his message to live on.

Sure, we have an allotted lifetime but look into the eyes of your children and you'll see yourself. Look at the building you designed or the book you wrote. Even simpler things than that can live on such as some brief but helpful advice to a young person who may go on to do great things. Those great things may produce even longer lasting results.

It's quite possible that all this religion around us has conditioned us to feel fear of what's beyond when the electricity no longer causes our brain to function. I figure that life is what it is and the time we're here is better to focus on.

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Permalink Reply by Grace Fitzpatrick on May 8, 2011 at 2:35pm

My dad died last summer. I think I cried a lot more initially than my religious counterparts. My dad seemed to be in perfect health and suddenly, just dropped dead. I have found that, although, initially it was harder for me, in the end it has been harder for my religious family members. I still miss my dad something awful, but I accepted his death from day one, whereas, they have not accepted it yet. Perhaps it is their belief that somewhere he's still alive that makes acceptance harder. They are also a lot angier than I am. They have a long list of "blames" for why my dad died, whereas I just accept that it was his time. I am not angry. I'm still sad occassionally, but I'm okay. I'm nore sure all of them are.

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Permalink Reply by john wright on May 8, 2011 at 2:50pm

Sorry to hear about your dad.

Try this with your family... Remember when dad was here and 'he' or 'we' etc...

If the conversation goes toward death then change the subject. Maybe enough times of that might help them accept it too.

It's the best way I know to keep someone alive in my heart.

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Permalink Reply by Irina Uriupina on May 8, 2011 at 3:31pm

this thing is hard

lots of people block this subject out of their minds

others find solace in religion and other spiritual systems that promise endless life in some shape or form

i frankly don't know how i am going to survive the deaths of my parents

maybe only by reminding myself im also finite and someday the whole circus will end for me as well)

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Permalink Reply by Chris Breman on May 9, 2011 at 2:17am

I feel for you - I lived in similar circumstances. But don´t fear losing your friends, you´ll probably never be as lonely as when you lived in your parents´ house.

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Permalink Reply by El Solo Lobo on May 8, 2011 at 6:16pm

I never cease to be amazed at the number of people, even some atheists, who think there is some mystery about "what happens after death". This is one of the simplest, most straightforward facts there is in life. When you die "you" as a conscious entity cease to exist. Period. Why is that hard too understand? Yes, of course our constituent atoms continue to exist, but that is completely irrelevant in any consciousness sense. To ask "where do we go when we die" makes no more sense than asking where does the flame go when you blow out the candle. As far as death is concerned, there is zero difference between humans and any other living thing that dies. As to emotional feelings about this fact, that is a different question, one that might rightly be entertained AFTER the hard fcat is determined, not before. I am an only child too, and have no children. I loved my mother dearly and of course I would like to see her again. But my (or your) wants are utterly meaningless as far as the facts are concerned. We can and we will eventually overcome death. There will be people eventually, who are truly immortal except for catastrophic accidents. The fly in the ointment is, that this will only be available to the rich and powerful...as usual.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Bors on May 9, 2011 at 9:05am

Not necessary only available to the rich and powerful. Washing machines where only available to the rich and powerful. The same happened to computers and any other technology.

We will one day all be immortal except for catastrophic accidents.

The first immortals in such a sense might already be alive today.

I agree with the rest of your post and also agree that it will probably only be available to the rich and powerful at the beginning.

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Permalink Reply by Napoleon Bonaparte on May 9, 2011 at 10:27am

Elderly people are a nuisance. It's best to hand them over to the welfare state for processing and forget about them. This may seem a callous way to treat relatives who will not be seen again but I don't care.

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Permalink Reply by Brian Bors on May 10, 2011 at 4:12am

it is just not right to just leave the people that raised ypu behind.

Why not? If they truly are a nuisance I treat them with the same disrespect as I treat non-elderly nuisances. However, most elderly people I gathered around me are no nuisance, but wise, experienced people with allot to teach me. So I do not fully agree with Napoleon... although I suspect he is trolling somewhat. ;)