I was reading some of the other discussion topics but I was surprised I didn't see this already addressed. So my question is, what are your deal breakers? 

I have more than a few but some things are negotiable. However there are some absolute deal breakers. 

3. More than one small child. I'm not even sure I can handle one but I know more than one is too much obligation.

2. Neediness (is that a word?). This is usually tied into insecurity on their part. I shouldn't feel obligated to tell him he's a pretty princess everyday.

And number one on the charts is...

Bad Breath! How some people don't find their to the dentist regularly or (gasp) never floss, I'll never understand. 



Tags: breaker, deal, love, relationships

Views: 183

Replies to This Discussion

Instead of suggesting..Do it yourself! =P I'll happily participate.

FYI - Total arts/dance lover (musician)
Well I'll have to do that then! Trouble is narrowing it down to a short post. Five years on the scene and I still feel like a kid in the candy store. I've been quite taken with several gals that are like night and day. I suppose it's time to back up and think about what they all have in common. Those qualities are probably the ones I desire the most. Prolly things I'm lacking/looking for in myself too. Give me something to think about for the rest of the year...
Well try hard as you can to narrow your deal makers to the top 5 (no particular order necessary), I know it won't be easy as I have quite a few myself.
Excellent!
So if she don't shake what her momma gave her, she's put out on the curb. The dancing clause is a new one on me though.

Deal makers is an interesting thought. The only thing wrong with that for me is that it led to a lot of false leads. To be honest, the ones I had it for the most rubbed me the wrong way at first. Go figure.
Well I wouldn't quite put it that way, hah! I'm actually quite put off by club dancing. I've really enjoyed the Latin dances, a few months of swing, and even a couple lessons in argentine tango. Swing is incredibly fun, the Latin dances are incredibly sexy with class (as opposed to bump & grind rock-n-roll & booty shakin' club dancing), Argentine Tango is just...flat out art! And the people I meet, men and women, are some pretty top-notch people. Have made some very, very good friends & met more women there than I was genuinely interested in than elsewhere.

The latin scene is also more international with a lot of more open-minded world-views...and not a few more atheists. ;)
Now that I've spent 24 hours thinking about deal-makers... Yeah, that'll be a tough one. The gals I've had the absolute most interest in came out of the blue & "broke the mold" so-to-speak. Each one incredible in different ways. They also inspired me to look deeper into myself...what kind of man am *I*? What do *I* bring to the table to seal the deal?

I've actually quit looking for the last six months just to spend some time on myself. Step up the game a little bit, and hopefully be as much of a person as some of these ladies. Slow goin' tho! :D
I've taken a few salsa classes and even some belly dance classes so I know what you're talking about. It is fun.

Seems like you've put a lot of thought into it. I myself just take it as it comes. I try not to have preconceived ideas and the fact that the men I was most taken with were guys I wrote off when I met them demonstrates why.

Still, you seem like guy with a lot of decent qualities but I don't know you that well. It sounds like you're not short on dates.
Ah, well, I tend to overthink things when I've had a few beers in me and I'm surfing the net. I tend to overthink things period...wait to long to ask the girl out...wait to long to ask her to commit... And after completely missing some golden opportunities and not a few 2nd place finishes the last few years I think that's pretty good advice...take it as it comes. The best chances I've had were the ones that caught me off-guard and went clear around my pre-conceived notions!

Thanks! ;)
I must say, I think I have actually learned a bit from reading this forum. So, I guess I shall submit my thoughts. The difficult thing is narrowing them down to a few ideas, what could I absolutely not tolerate. Well, assuming we are talking about a serious relationship. Lets see if I can get three concise points.

1. Not an individual - I like people who have their own opinions, own goals, and don't just bend to the whims of everyone else. I have no problem with someone who honestly doesn't have a preference you know and can handle someone who doesn't offer a vote when it doesn't matter. But the person must have their own life and doesn't become clingy and act on their own. You know, someone who goes out and has their own life outside of you, it is great to share things, hobbies and friends, even essential to a point, but only to a point. I would hate to feel guilty for enjoying my own personal time. Plus, you need someone who is different enough that you can have some interesting debates. Which leads me to point two.

2. I could not handle someone who is not educated and thoughtful. I like people who strive for knowledge and enjoy learning new things. But, just absorbing the books is useless unless you can objectively question the books and piece things together as well. I put a lot of importance on education, but you also need to be able to appreciate the education you can get in the world as well.

3. I think this one has also been expressed, but I honestly don't know if I want children or not. But, if I did have a child with someone, or even just helped raise children, I love playing with the children of my cousins. I am not going to hide my own personal beliefs. So, it would be a deal breaker if the person did honestly believe in something supernatural. I might be able to handle an Einsteinian Pantheistic view, but that would be about it.

So, there we go, I am sure there are lots of other things, I would hate someone pessimistic and cynical, being a rather optimistic Secular Humanist. Or not sharing any hobbies, beliefs and whatnot. But those would be things that would stop there from being a second date let alone moving forward.
The children thing seems to be a common theme here on the atheists site. I wonder why that is, that most don't want kids at all. I have one but she's 17 and I don't want to raise anymore, not saying I couldn't but would prefer not to.

By the way, I love the crap outta my kid. I just don't want to sound like it's been a miserable experience because it hasn't. She's just like me, good n twisted.
Oh, I am not saying good or bad with raising kids. The deal breaker in my mind is the fact regarding belief in supernatural beings. I have no hesitation explaining to a child that I see no point in there, lets do the easy one, is no Abrahamic god, and even if there were it would be a morally reprehensible creature unfit of our praise. And same for pretty much any religious stand point. So, I could only imagine the argument it would get from someone who truly believed such a thing to hear me explaining that to their child. For if they bought into it, it would guarantee their child going straight to hell. Ah, Blasphemy, the one unforgivable sin... not murder or child abuse.

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