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Cooking Advicee

Two cannibals meet one day.

The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender missionary. I've baked 'em, I've roasted 'em, I've stewed 'em, I've barbecued 'em, I've even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender."

The second cannibal asks, "What kind of missionary do you use?"

The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."

"Ah ha!" he replies.

"It's no wonder you're having problems.... those are friars!"

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Permalink Reply by Goz on May 29, 2009 at 2:24pm

Good one.

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Permalink Reply by Tarquin St John Sh'gn'sty on May 29, 2009 at 8:25pm

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other : "does this taste funny to you?"

I think my joke is older than yours.

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Permalink Reply by Chrys Stevenson on May 29, 2009 at 9:34pm

That's fair - I think you're older than me. ;-) :P

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Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on May 30, 2009 at 6:59am

Ha! Never knew missionaries are a good source of protein.

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Permalink Reply by Heather Crosby on May 30, 2009 at 7:07am

That sounds delicious!

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Permalink Reply by Chrys Stevenson on May 30, 2009 at 7:25am

They're really good devilled. ;-)

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Permalink Reply by sophia on May 30, 2009 at 7:46am

I wuold have liked full recipe. Need all details to make idea practical. ha, ha!

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Permalink Reply by Chrys Stevenson on May 30, 2009 at 7:27pm

Adapted from a recipe by Kelly Spies I found on the internet:

Preparing theists for consumption can be tricky. Knowing what seasonings and methods of cooking can be difficult but with this simple recipe guide you'll be serving your friends and family in no time.

Marinated Leg of Missionary

When it comes to missionaries, the meat can be tough and wirey. This comes from their illogical perception of imaginary beings. Slapping the flesh while the missionaries are still alive can sometimes help tenderize the meat. Remember Culinary Gurus, fear tenderizes all meat.

Ingredients:
4 legs, two from each missionary (use any theist if missionaries aren't in season)
4 cups white wine (Blue Nun is good with this)
2 tablespoons Benedictine
12 chopped carrots
4 diced white onions
2 Bay leaves
1/2 cup butter
salt and pepper to taste
grated Parmesan cheese

Directions:
Combine half of the wine, bay leaves, 2 of the onions, and salt and pepper to taste. Slice the leg into pieces the width of a normal steak. Place in glass cake pan and cover with marinade. Refrigerate, covered, for 36 - 48 hours, turning the meat occasionally.

In a large skillet melt butter and add meat. Fry until the meat is golden brown on both sides. Remove meat from the pan and add the remaining onions and carrots and wine. Simmer until vegetables are soft.

Pour vegetables and meat back into cake pan and bake for 2 hours at 375. Add the Benedictine at the end. Serve topped with grated parmesan cheese, salad and wine. Feeds 4-6 people.

Variation: To make 'Devilled Missionary' follow the recipe above, but add 1 can of chopped tomatoes and a teaspoon or two of chilli powder.