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Coming out at work?

How many of you are out, all the way, at work?

Where I work I have a few close coworkers who know my religious views (or lack thereof), but in general no one has a clue, including my direct supervisor and the other two people who work in my department. Now my boss is a very nice woman and though she is religious (i.e. goes to church) she does not proselytize, but she does insert such things as "You just never know what the good lord has in mind" into conversations occasionally (but not often). I like her so much, and we're actually fairly close in other regards, that a part of me wants to clue her in about my feelings on the matter...but then another part of me thinks that might be a really stupid thing to do.

I guess I tend to think of this as being similar to discussing one's sex life: Just because other people do it doesn't mean I need to--especially at work. But then I also feel more than a bit disingenuous for keeping what is really an important topic (atheism, not my sex life) so quiet that it almost appears as though I'm ashamed of it.

WWMFAD? is what I wanna know.

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Permalink Reply by Steve Wallace on December 26, 2009 at 2:52pm

I just tell people I am an atheist. If they come out with ridiculous god sayings, I challenge them immediately.
You can't let people say stupid stuff and get away with it because they continue to think it is OK to say crazy things - and it's not. I call them out every time.

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Permalink Reply by Peter Brooks on December 26, 2009 at 6:46pm

It is a matter of manners and respect. If somebody makes a point of mentioning their superstitious views to you, it may be that they're making assumptions - that you're 'one of them' - or it may be that they are hardly even aware that they're doing it, just as most people aren't aware that the days of the week are named after gods.

If you respond to this rudely, you're showing yourself to lack sensitivity and to not have much respect forth other person - which are not good characteristics of an employee (in most civilian organisations anyway!).

If, on the other hand, somebody makes a direct attempt to discuss religion with you, or asks you a direct question, then it is only polite to answer it honestly, or, if you did feel it embarrassing, as some do, or inappropriate in a work environment, to say directly that you're not comfortable discussing it.

Being polite shows maturity, wisdom and respect. This is, by the way, the opposite of political correctness that shows none of these.

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Permalink Reply by Martin B. Penkala on March 1, 2010 at 11:31am

I agree in principle with you, Nerd; it should be essentially irrelevant to anyone's means of income. However, the reality is that the World is a BIG CLUB; either you are IN the Club or OUT of it. Another way to say this is, most "groupings of people" - including any and all of our associates in a workplace - cohere mainly because of a sort of " You Are One of Us" mentality. It's petty, silly, immature and irrational, but that is the way the world is. Like the comedian said; " ...all through high school we cannot wait to get the hell out of there, and when we finally become adults in the adult world...we find that it's just like high school all over again!" lol. And the trouble for most people in nonexotic occupations is that, yes, others WILL judge us by our stripes. Depending what those stripes are will determine whether or not we will still be accepted by the Club.

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Permalink Reply by Bio Ninja on December 27, 2009 at 1:12pm

I agree with the Nerd. I am lucky however. I am completely out to my co-workers and boss. I work in a science-y type job, so there really is not much pressure to believe (there are lots of us heathens in my field). However, if I were in a position where my atheism would be a problem, I certainly wouldn't be bothered or feel as if I were betraying my beliefs by keeping silent about them.

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Permalink Reply by Ted Delorme on December 27, 2009 at 3:51pm

My boss is pretty active in his church, but his brother is a Unitarian, so it isn't an issue of dealing with hardcore fundamentalism. There are a handful of very christian folks at work who don't want to hear about it, so I don't mention it. There's one atheist at work, and he and I discuss science and "smart stuff" because we're both into it and are not used to finding someone on the same level to talk to.

I like Glen's attitude; be honest, but keep it away from work for the most part.

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Permalink Reply by unholyroller on December 27, 2009 at 4:03pm

I would advise coution. I'm a registered nurse, I've worked through an agency for the past 7 years. I was assighned to several hospitals in the OKC area over the years and when the subject came up I politely stated that I've beeen a non-believer for the past 30 years. Nothing obnoxious or in-your-face. I was targeted by one particular nurse and her cronies and they finally got me. Now, I'm black-listed in this city. I haven't worked full-time for over a year. Never mind that my work history is exemplary. I'm not in a position whare I can travel. My life has taken a decided down-turn. If I ever get back to work I'll be more discrete. Yes, I know it should be nobody's business but in this part of the world the fundies are particularly agressive. Just be careful. You never know how people will react.

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Permalink Reply by Secular Sue on January 23, 2010 at 4:55am

I've been coming out at work. It might be more accurate to say, I'm barely keeping it in at work! My friend-co-workers know I'm an atheist and are cool with it; some of them are non-believers too. There are a couple of christians at work that know I'm not a believer. They spout their churchy slogans and run. I'm cautious with them. I'd like to get into it with them, and I sense they'd like to quiz me, but it hasn't happened yet. I would weigh my words so carefully, I couldn't be as blunt as I'd like to be.

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Permalink Reply by Richard Healy on January 23, 2010 at 5:09am

I'm completely unabashed about my atheism at college.

I completely demolished three Muslims in a debate over why I should believe in god. After the winter break they saw me reading "50 voices of Disbelief:why we are atheists" in the cafeteria and came over to resurrect the conversation. It ended with them wishing me luck in finding God, I assured them it was unnecessary but thank you.

I even joked publicly another class the other day before going to this science festival (see my blog Science: WOW!!) about invoking the presence of the great god Poseidon by securing several horses and drowning them in the nearest estuary, as a locum form prayer.

I think we might even have module coming up on Evolution Vs Intelligent Design (it's in the textbook at any rate) so that should be FUN!! ^^

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Permalink Reply by max koenig on January 23, 2010 at 9:06am

Have a to I find this thread just a little bit disturbing. I can never imagine having to be bothered about professing my atheism at work. I'm employed to do a job - if the subject comes up then I'll tell all and sundry that I'm an atheist. If it doesn't come up, well then it doesn't come up.

If I thought I was working for an employer where by theological views would impact my career progression, then I would have to seriously ask myself if I wanted to work for that company.

I would never be ashamed of being an atheist.

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Permalink Reply by Kevin N on January 24, 2010 at 7:57pm

I am not "out" at my work because I don't feel it is my employer's business to know whether or not I worship a deity. Only one person I know at work knows that I am an atheist. Generally, I try to keep religion and politics out of my work life.

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Permalink Reply by Shelby on February 15, 2010 at 5:34pm

There are only 3 people at my work that knows my thoughts on religion. There are a lot of 'give your worries to god' posters in my coworkers' cubicles. The other day an older lady was telling a younger one in the ladies restroom that she should have as many children as god gives her. The younger one was looking into getting birth control.