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Hi everyone!

I have 2 great kids who are 9 and 6. They both still believe in Santa, the Easter bunny, and tooth fairy...well at least they say they do. I have doubts about my son (the 9 y.o.).


For a while now I have been feeling bad about keeping up the ruse. Every now and again they will ask questions and I just feel so guilty about brushing them off or outright lying to them. When they ask questions about other topics I never lie. I always answer their questions to the best of my abilities in a way they understand, but when it comes to these stupid traditions, I just can't seem to bring myself to tell the truth.


My husband has mentioned having similar feelings though we've never talked about if we should break the news to the kids or not.


What's your take? What did you do with your children, or what was your experience as a child? I know I believed as a kid, but I honestly can't remember when I found out the truth.


Should I answer their questions truthfully or keep it going until it runs it's course?

Tags: EasterBunny, Santa, ToothFairy

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Ok, I am going to answer this with out knowing any of your other comment here and then I am going to read some of them.  I do not have children of my own, I was a kid who was also lied to in the tradition of fantasy characters.  I don't think you want anyone to tell you that you are wrong.  You need to chose what you want for your kids and yourself.  Your kids will love you none the less if your intentions were for childhood fun, just don't let childhood fun turn into adulthood denial.  I personally would never have started telling my kids about fantasy characters for traditional holidays.  Yes I don't mind telling stories that are fantasy as long as they understand that it is in fact fantasy.  So how or when you decide to talk to your children about what is bothering you is all your choice.  This makes me wonder what your kids believe of religion or not because isn't this really one in the same?  If they do not believe in a god or some religion then the santa thing will be a lot easier to explain in my opionion.  If you feel guilty about it then say "sorry".  Saying sorry to something I feel bad about makes me feel better almost instant.  I will even say sorry to my dog if I did him wrong. 

If a parent says "Do this" or "don't do that" or I am not giving you any Christmas presents.  Then you must follow through, because if you don't the child knows you aren't serious and they don't really have to do what you say.  Seeing the kids open the presents on Christmas morning is a lot of the fun.  Santa doesn't have to follow through.  Mom and Dad do. 


Santa is just a bit of holiday fun. 

Sadly I do not have the time or interest to unpack the various assumptions and misunderstandings in your post. I was hoping we could discuss this at a higher level, but I would have to get back to basics of psychology, sociology, and such to explain this because you basic assumptions are so radically different than mine. I won't even try to present the case for the Stockholm Syndrome analogy. Your understanding of parenting is so loaded endocrine based cultural flotsam that you can't let it go to discuss actual psychological constructs.



Personal attacks are a poor substitute for actual arguments and dialogue. Conversation over.
Huh? What are you talking about, dude? Do you have children of your own? I agree with Darlene.
my husband keeps these myths alive (he's a big kid himself).  Our son is now 8.  I think he suspects it's a crock, but hasn't said.  I said to hubby I don't feel comfortable lying about it.  He reakons he will tell him if he asks.  I stay right out of it.
This is the innocent part of childhood. It's not telling them that scientists are wrong and the church is right. It's simply giving them something exciting to look forward to. Not to mention, it's a great way to help discipline such as this morning for me. My daughter was acting bratty and I told her Santa is coming in 6 months and better start acting better. She's been an angel since.      Kids might be angry at you for telling them and taking away the fun. Good job on thinking this over and wanting to have an honest relationship, but they are young enough to have great memories about this. Good luck and have fun raising your children!


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