"But animals do it and they don't go blind"

Something every kid should know...

Hands or Paws or Anything They Got

Masturbation in the animal kingdom.

By Daniel EngberPosted Thursday, July 16, 2009, at 2:56 PM ET

Isn't it wonderful when science and religion come together? My Slate colleague William Saletan points out that a recent paper has laid the groundwork for a pro-life defense of onanism. According to obstetrician David Greening, a rigorous program of daily masturbation can actually improve sperm quality in men with fertility problems. (Samples collected at the end of the program showed less DNA damage and higher sperm motility than samples from control subjects.) Since masturbation can help you have babies, Saletan argues, it must also serve the "procreative and unitive purposes" described in the Catechism. [continued]






Tags: good, thwap, thwap, thwap, wanking

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Gecko, Seth...brother of Richie! on July 17, 2009 at 9:57pm
Most DO have hairy palms!!......just like me hehehe;-)
Permalink Reply by Kristi Leitholt on July 18, 2009 at 1:34am
I learned something very important from this: Turtle penis is gross.
Permalink Reply by Jared Lardo on July 18, 2009 at 1:49am
Why the hell did anyone ever think to video tape an animal masturbating and put it on youtube?

And why weren't they flagged or something?
Permalink Reply by Little Name Atheist on July 20, 2009 at 3:27am
...with people and animals getting busy!
Permalink Reply by Mika on July 20, 2009 at 10:50am


what's gonna happen when all those kittens decide to strike back?
Do i smell a link between this and all those mysterious spontaneous human combustion cases?
Permalink Reply by Goz on July 20, 2009 at 12:20pm
Wow! That's a lotta dead kittens!
Meanwhile,here is my favorite masturbating kangaroo video;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfIIO2HY3zY
Permalink Reply by Sentient Biped on July 26, 2009 at 6:04pm
Maybe we should look at this differently. Aren't there too many cats in the world anyway? Shouldn't we be considering population control for cats? Maybe this is the solution!
Permalink Reply by Goz on July 29, 2009 at 3:12pm
Oh I agree! Definitely too many feral domesticated cats!
While we are at it instead of saying :"They breed like rabbits." We might say:"They breed like cats."
Permalink Reply by Luke on July 30, 2009 at 3:40am
Now this is misleading. It takes a direct hit to kill a strong kitten. LOL
Permalink Reply by Montgomery Duryea on July 21, 2009 at 3:28pm
No where in the original translation of the Bible does it say "Thou shalt flog thy dolphin" Or remotely similar meaning.
It is proof of personal ideas being translated into modern translations and Christian belief systems.
Hypothetically,(if such a deity existed) I think god would rather us be wankers than rapists.
Because we are large animals we have large instincts to quell. It is part of what has keep us alive for so long.
Permalink Reply by Goz on July 22, 2009 at 3:35pm
I agree...And if there is a god why would he/she/it even CARE what we do with our nether reasons?
Permalink Reply by Anette on July 24, 2009 at 7:14pm
That is bloody brilliant.

Anyone know how the catholic church is addressing this? Masturbation Improves sperm quality...

....OOOOPS!!! If nature invented it..there's probably a reason for it..hahah. Silly catholics.

I can just see catholic men lineing up at the doctors....

Oh Lord, PLEASE let me have fertility problems, PLEASE let me have fertility problems, PLEASE!!!

WOOOOT!! I have fertility problems...ty Lord (Heads off to the bedroom to improve fertility)

hahahhaha

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