The World’s Largest Coalition of Nontheists and Nontheist Communities!

bit my tongue, but...

What's the BEST line you NEVER used on a Christian but wanted to REEELY bad...?

example:

My fundie ex-mother-in-law once handed me a "letter from God", it was a project their pastor had given them, to write a hypothetical letter from God to themselves, and what they imagined God would say to them and about them, what advice God would give, etc.

It was all pretty mundane stuff, hardly worth commenting on, but the first thought that entered my head (but did not pass my lips) was...

"For the creator of the universe, God can't spell worth a damn...."

Had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting that out...

--JJR

2 members like this

▶ Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by alexa penzner on August 31, 2011 at 6:51am

i like that one - "i'll think for you. . ."

why are so many people hung up on christians and what they think? who cares!!? (unless, maybe you are surrounded by them.) it would be interesting to hear about some other religion as well though. has anyone ever had their family sit shiva for them cause they've become an atheist/ agnostic, whatever? any buddhists? curious minds would like to hear from you. . .

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Jeremy on August 31, 2011 at 10:22am

I think its a great idea.

Dear Jeremy,

I know everything.

I know that the 90 lawn gnomes that were "liberated" and put on that poor person’s front lawn, resulting in a front page article in the local newspaper dedicated to catching the culprit, was you.

I watched over the years, while you worked for Disney Cruise Line, you told children that, if they were bad, they would be left on a stray island, resulting in them turning into donkeys. Then sold to Juan Valdés to pick coffee in the hills of Columbia, or used below deck in giant hamster wheels to generate the electricity.

I witnessed you drunkenly dyeing your hands blue with toilet cleaner in your freshman year...and again in your senior year.

I did not approve of when you caught the neighbour’s white, long haired cat on your lawn laying pipe, and thus dyed him green using cool aid. Then preceded to act outraged by your own deed when you found the owner going door to door very upset.

…and for those reasons, I feel your acceptance into heaven would be too disruptive to our campus. I recommend applying to Hell.

Cheers,

God

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Fan of OHair on November 21, 2011 at 7:57am

so the pastor is judge, jury and court? c'mon ... that's worth a tounge bite LOL

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Edward Collins on December 6, 2011 at 9:06pm

Best thing I ever heard someone say: A guy who was with some "associates" said to this atheist: "We don't like what you said about god, we're christians." The atheist guy said: "So ..... forgive me."

▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by JS. Rogers on May 13, 2012 at 3:03am

My mother and I were talking about me being Atheist one day. I told her if she wanted to discuss what I believe, I have no problems doing so. She said OK. I, however, warned her that I can back up my beliefs with the bible. She said, "Maybe we better not talk about it."