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bit my tongue, but...

What's the BEST line you NEVER used on a Christian but wanted to REEELY bad...?

example:

My fundie ex-mother-in-law once handed me a "letter from God", it was a project their pastor had given them, to write a hypothetical letter from God to themselves, and what they imagined God would say to them and about them, what advice God would give, etc.

It was all pretty mundane stuff, hardly worth commenting on, but the first thought that entered my head (but did not pass my lips) was...

"For the creator of the universe, God can't spell worth a damn...."

Had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting that out...

--JJR

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by booklover on June 22, 2011 at 8:32pm

LOL and I'm jewish (by heritage only of course :)

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Permalink Reply by Atheist Andrea on July 9, 2011 at 10:24pm

Damn. That would have been a good one!

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Permalink Reply by Regina Goodwin on November 28, 2011 at 1:10am

ROFLMAOPIMP

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Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on March 29, 2011 at 9:36am

Well this doesn't count as something I didn't say, cuz I said it. But one day a coworker anonymously left a book on my car. Now, having been raised Jewish I had no idea what The Good News was, but as soon as I opened it I figured it out. The next day I came into work shouting, "hey guys, I've got good news!" Then showed them the book. Nobody thought it was funny, but I did figure out who it was from by the look on their face.

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Permalink Reply by Aggiememenon on March 30, 2011 at 6:41am

You should totally have gone for the Futurama angle, a la Hubert Farnsworth..."Good News, everyone!" ;-)

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Permalink Reply by Ronin on March 29, 2011 at 11:33am

A friend of my son was over to the house the other day and asked me "Do you have jesus in your heart?". I did not want to start anything with this kid so I held my response. "So that's what this feeling is. I thought it was the pepperoni pizza."

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Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on March 29, 2011 at 11:47am

Wow, who is your son hanging out with?

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Permalink Reply by Ronin on March 30, 2011 at 12:51am

Actually my son is all atheist. This kid he knows is a real anomaly. Loves sci-fi, surfing, is very literate but has this jesus thing. His dad was a real piece of work (praise the lord)
so now that he's gone maybe the kid will come around.

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Permalink Reply by Jedi Wanderer on March 30, 2011 at 5:53am

Oh, a good response just hit me for yours - Do you have reason in your brain?

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Permalink Reply by Jeremy on August 31, 2011 at 10:46am

Is that not how Elvis died, on the toilet, with too much Jesus built up in his heart?

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on March 30, 2011 at 8:24am

Well, shame on me, but I DIDN'T bite my tongue when I told the JW visiting my house that I was an atheist. She responded with surprise and asked me if I had always been an atheist or if something happened to me to make me an atheist.

My response: "Yeah - common sense."