The extent to which my MIL is rabidly xtian is legendary by now. She's got the entire family on board- her husband, their kids, who married and begat more xtians. All but my husband, luckily.

She and my SIL always include a biblical quote at the bottom of their emails and in all correspondence. Tonight, got an email from my niece, who also had one as her signature! Ay caramba.

Figured, why not include some of my own favorites? They would be shocked to see me quoting the bible...... until they actually READ the quotes. Here's a favorite:

"God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree lest you die'......But the serpent said, 'You will not die, for when you eat the fruit your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.' So when she saw that the tree was good for food, and that it made one wise, she took of the fruit and ate it."

Chances are, it'll go right over their heads. All they would see is "Genesis" and some numbers and yaddayaddayadda.

Never mind that right off the bat, the first thing God ever said to a human was an outright lie, and the first truth was from the serpent (presumably, Satan.) Humans have been punished ever since on account of Eve's thirst for knowledge.

Then I could mix it up with some of the more violent ones, like Judges 19:22-29 (about hacking up the concubine into 12 pieces) and Genesis 19:4-8 (about raping virgin girls) and Matthew 10: 34-35 (about how Jesus was all "you're either for me or against me," turn against your own family.)

Yeah, that would go over well!! 

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There's also Psalms 137:9, among multiple others.  I would suggest consulting the Skeptic's Annotated Bible for more such goodies, if you need them.

These idiots need to understand that their holy book is light-years away from the sweetness and light they imagine it to be.

The Skeptic's Annotated Bible links to the article "Smashing little ones against stones" that reveals that Psalms 137:9 is worse taken in context!

The Bible does have its share of sweetness and light -- but also plentiful injustice and atrocities that can't be dismissed as an aberration or two. As Susan Blackmore observed, the Bible might have retained influence for many centuries precisely because it's so self-contradictory that it can be used to justify anything one might like.

The quote from Genesis really establishes God's character!

LOL   I don't think it would go over very well, but you have a pretty good take on the bible. Send some of those scrptures like you are suggesting and someday you might get to talk to them about it. Wanna know the first thing out of their mouths?

"Yeah, but that was in the Old Testament."

Dennis is right, And when they do, hit them with Matthew 5:17. Then, point out that eating shrimp cocktail, or wearing a cloth of two different threads, is an abomination in the eyes of their magic sky daddy.

In my years of debate with Christians I'm the one accused of taking these scriptures "out of context" when I use them to show the monster he really is.  You will probably be accused of the same thing but don't let it stop you. The book Loren suggested is excellent.

DMP- thanks, I ain't no bible scholar, just very thankful to be alive in the age of the internet!!

Pat- indeed, Matthew 5:17 should come in VERY handy among the Born Agains. I'm pretty sure that's the one that quotes Jesus as saying how he is all about the OT. Besides, they're creationists on top of all that, which from what I understand is OT stuff.

So true about these contradictions being what has enabled the book to become the force that it has. Evasive, sneaky, manipulative.

EDIT: wrong thread......

You could hit them with some erotica: "Come ... blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits." Song of Solomon 4:16 or "My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him." 5:4

Song of Solomon is way overlooked as far as I'm concerned.

Wow, wtf is THAT all about?! They left out so many other things, but put in.........erotica?? Fifty Shades of Solomon?!

Fifty Shades of Solomon?!

heehee

During my church days it was always explained to me that Parts of Psalms and Solomon was about Jesus and his relationship to the church, OR Jesus and you. Never mind that Jesus wasn't born yet, or the fact that their wasn't any church. They just wanted you to believe that about this obvious erotica.
So, the kid comes in "mom, you won't believe what they are doing to Jesus."
In case I have that wrong, it might read along the lines of what Jesus is doing to you.

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