Hey all. I've in the past few months really embraced the idea of being an atheist. I tried for a long time to reconcile the differences between the logic of science (I'm a science teacher) and the dogma of Christianity. After a while, I gave up and just let logic speak for itself.

I've honestly never felt more relaxed in all my life as now that I've given up the silly notions of Christianity. And I'm thrilled to discover this website because it's just a nice change of pace to be around like minded folks.

The hardest part, and this could be coming from this still being fresh to me, is not being an ANGRY atheist. I catch myself being angry that others still drink the deity kool aid. I know people who will purposefully ignore information, evidence, and logic just so that they can wallow in the ignorance that their faith encourages. I hope it gets easier to not be bothered by this. I don't want to be angry and I also don't want to alienate my friends by talking to them like they're idiots.  

Advice? Solutions? 


Thank you all again for just existing and being here. 

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Brandon...I know how you feel.  Being with a group of like-minded people (whom I found via meetup.com - check it out) was like a breath of fresh air.  It's great that you've found a group offline.  I regret that you have to fake it.  I can't see your colleagues becoming more liberal any time soon.

Atheism is denial of the existence of Jehovah, Zeus, Thor -- any and all supernatural beings.  Humanism is many things.  Its highest values are human dignity, autonomy, and reason.  The Torah is profoundly anti-humanistic. It's all about total subjugation to God.  Governments are usually anti-humanistic, subjugating the welfare of individuals to the success of the collective.  Same for corporations.

Welcome Brandon! Glad you found us. I recently moved back north, but I did spend 8 years in central NC, so I can understand where you're coming from.

It does get easier, your brain is racing with all these new ways to look at things right now, but that will subside. Eventually that anger will change to disappointment, and maybe a few others emotions.

I find it rewarding to explain science to those not as fluent, and when science is on your side it's easy to win arguments. For instance, most reasonable people who don't agree with human made global warming or evolution have never really been properly introduced to it. I have made major inroads explaining simple things like how greenhouse gases work, where all the carbon in the ground came from etc, trying to avoid any political or religious involvement. I never start with the premise that I'm going to convince someone of global warming in one sitting, I just need them to leave believing in one fact that contributes to the theory.

I gave up trying to convert people or try to argue anything religious. As you'll find on here, when it comes to religion, those beliefs are irrational and they can't be countered with rational arguments. Since almost no one converts in a day or because of one thing, I try to win the small battles, and the pressure over time takes care of the rest. I do however like to wear shirts that make people think. One of my favorites is a simply drawn T-Rex eating a Jesus fish :)

I have one other suggestion regarding this site. This site will come up in google searches for your screen name, so someone searching for your name will lead them here. Not too big a deal, but being a teacher, someone could try to use it against you. I used to use my real name as my screen name but changed it after someone brought it to my attention.

You also may wish to change your Profile to Private.  Just go to the settings box in the upper right hand corner.  Good luck.

The more comfortable you become with your own discovery, the less concerned you will be about the "deity kool aid" drinkers. You will go from angry to pity. You cannot turn a lump of concrete into pliable clay until the concrete softens. It takes time and a horrible, horrible amount of patience. This is a great web site for venting.

I agree. Well said!

Larry, I respect your point of view and know there is validity in what you say. However, I come from a different perspective. I have lived and seen the terrible abuses done in the name of their god and suffering of good and decent people. It is not my interest to change anyone's opinion, it is to present an alternative way of thinking, especially for those who doubt and question. 

Grinning Car, thanks for the lead to Dr. Stephen Uhl. I've got it lined up to listen to his story.

@Alan Perlman, Your comments always inform and inspire and on only one word do I disagree. When you use the word "deny" god, it implies using an ego defense mechanism and is in the passive voice. May I be so bold as to suggest "refute" god. That is an active word and implies having thought it through.

Hi Brandon, and well met!

I wish I had advice. My own severance was immediate and total. After years of "recovery" from the daily churchgoing (yes, daily), I find myself less mad at the world, and more mad at myself for what I did during those years. I want to make up for my wrongness. 

One thing that has helped me is to talk with people. Anyone, really. Other atheists for support, and religious folk in order to get used to the battle. I used to say it was against my moral code to enter a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. But nearly everyone has some measure of wit, it's simply misdirected - *just as ours was when we were chugging Kool-Aid at the church potluck*. 

Take advantage of bellringers. Remember: THEY are coming on YOUR territory to talk about THEIR faith. So let them. Invite them in for tea. Break out your own Bible (and your Strong's Concordance, perhaps), and let the games begin. You'll know you're doing well when they shake your hand on the way out and ask if you wouldn't mind stopping by the church so they can bring their minister into the discussion to answer all the questions they couldn't. FYI - the minister will probably refuse to take your phone call to schedule that meeting. 

I recently moved to South Carolina, and am inadvertently living in a very Bible-thumping community.  These people are so mean that anger erupts from time to time.  I deal with it as best I can.  I do not pray with them as they pray before secular association meetings.  If I go to a pot luck (because not ALL are xtian), I don't respect their prayers.  (which is how I discovered that not all are christian as many eyes met while the other eyes were closed in prayer)

When I see an act of meanness that is so typical of xtians, I sit on my front porch and remember my own experience, and how I didn't have much say in what was done TO me.  I am able to recognize that there was nothing to forgive myself for.  I had no other REASONABLE choices.  The angrier I am at them, the angrier (i discovered) I am about me - because I was accepting responsibility for something I didn't do.  I found that my anger is merely projection that I can release by remembering that it wasn't my fault.

I still catch myself looking down on them and then feeling guilty about doing what I criticize them for.  I realize that when I do this, I am projecting again.  But I release that guilt and judgment by sitting on the porch (I love the rocking chairs on my porch) and remembering my own inherent perfection, which allows me to remember theirs.  This lets me see through the walls they put around them, and lets me be at peace again.

I can do this because I have done so much work studying my own thoughts, emotions, and feelings.  While exploring the nature of emotions, I discovered my own perfection, and upon seeing it,  I immediately  understood that ALL are perfect, no matter how many mistakes they make. 

Why don't you join a local Atheist group as well? There are many in the Bible Belt area.

Congrats on your deconversion. I was very angry too at first when I had my apostasy. I think that lies hurt no matter where or whom tells them to you & this is a source of anger.

Welcome to atheism. Welcome to atheist nexus.

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