Are you open about being an atheist or are you in the closet?

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Permalink Reply by Harry Feldman on May 14, 2012 at 1:55am

I'm "in the closet" for now except for the internet and to known atheists. I'm planning on telling my friends and family when I am 18. Then they can't force me to go to church every day trying to convert me. Also when I tell my friends I won't face isolation if they don't take it well, and I can see who my real friends are.

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Permalink Reply by sarah mike-thomas on May 14, 2012 at 9:38pm

I wish I would've realized that when I was under 18. Though I havent believed in god since I was 9 (I'm 30 now) I was still involved in some pretty derp "magical thinking" that was pretty unhealthy for me psychologically. When I made the jump to atheism/skepticism I found my mental illness (nothing too serious) are much easier to control. Religion is actually bad for my health ha! I'm way too idiosyncratic. When you go to college it might be easier especially if your going for science or art. Good luck!

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Permalink Reply by Paula W on May 14, 2012 at 10:32pm

I'm somewhat open with people about my atheism. I have a co-worker who is atheist and we have some pretty good discussions about science and religion. I've told considerably more people that I'm not a believer than straight-up said the word "atheist". I'm a horrible liar and do not like to equivocate, so if someone asks I'm going to tell them.

 

My husband is fine with it. He's more or less agnostic. He wouldn't label himmself an atheist. Other than him I haven't been direct with our immediate family, who are all very religious. I really would like to bring it up with my parents and sister, but they live far away and we don't see a lot of each other. I'd rather they not find out over the Internet, but if they did I suspect they wouldn't be too surprised. I don't try to hide the fact that I'm scientistic and have no interest in church-going. We have very good relationships and I really don't think they would treat me any differently, but I am a little nervous about it. It's the whole, I don't want them worrying about my soul burning in hell, thing.

 

I'm more worried about the kids and how our lack of religion is going to affect them. My mother-in-law asked recently if we were planning on sending the kids to Sunday School. Even though I had a pretty positive religious up-bringing, I'd be pretty pissed if someone (adult) told my kids they were going to hell. I know one of these days we'll have to have a conversation about it. I'm not really sure how to prepare them.

 

Fortunately, although I live in Texas there are at least a few different skeptic/atheist/humanist groups I can meet up with relatively close by. There is a humanist group I have been meeting with once a month, which always contains some lively conversations and is good for my "soul".   :)

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Permalink Reply by Chris Ruegg on May 20, 2012 at 10:45pm

Totally out of the closet, but I was fortunate enough to have a non-religious upbringing and live in an area in Canada where people are much more willing to accept non-theists and atheists.

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Permalink Reply by Steffi yesterday

Still in the closet, but that is about to change. So far, my husband is the only person who definitely knows - and he is not happy at all. Most other people still think that I am just going through a time of doubts. So far, I have not had the courage to tell anyone that I have left my doubts behind and reached a point where I know that I am no longer a Christian. 

I haven't been in church for more than a year but officially I am still a member. Last week, I finally emailed my pastor and told him what was going on. I guess by now the whole church knows and they are busy praying for me... I will have to face them personally some time soon because to officially leave, a personal conversation with the church leaders is required. I am really not looking forward to that :-(

At work, faith or the lack thereof isn't really an issue. People may not understand my point of view, but they respect me anyway. 

My biggest challenge will be to tell my parents. I don't know how to do that yet. We live a few hundred kilometers apart and this is not really a conversation I want to have over the phone. But my mum constantly brings up religious topics so I guess sooner or later we will reach a point at which I would have to lie in order to keep my secret - and that is something I will not do. I really feel bad about this because I know they will be extremely disappointed (and worried about my eternal salvation). 

I have not yet made any contacts with atheists in my area (only checked it out online, there are a few organisations, but I am rather shy and don't feel too comfortable about showing up in a meeting with total strangers).

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Permalink Reply by Joan Denoo yesterday

I have no suggestions other than to have confidence in your decision. My favorite confidence building strategy is to watch what others have to say about their beliefs. These give me ideas to ponder and reject or consider. I am aware I am breaking the rules of thinking by referring to authority, however, to refute stories told by theists, I need to know what other people think about theist and atheist ideas, not to blindly adopt them, but to critically think about them. 

Scientists Stephen Hawking There is no God. There is no Fate.

Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson - Greatest Sermon Ever

Biologist Richard Dawkins on Pascal's Wager

Magician James Randi Speaks: Questioning the Bible

Geology Noah's Flood Debunked

Physicist Education Breeds Atheism - Physicists DO NOT Believe in God

Aronra The Foundational Falsehoods of Creationism -- Complete Series the 1st video is the entire series, the rest are by each fallacies. 

Philosophers 

Good Reasons for "Believing" in God - Dan Dennett, AAI 2007

It helps to lighten up a bit and to do that, I watch funny atheists,

George Carlin George Carlin on Religion and God

There are also cartoons out that ridicule beliefs in ways that make me laugh.

Noah's Ark (part 1 of 2)

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Permalink Reply by Tammy S yesterday

I also really like Dan Barker's books, especially Godless - good for one leaving the faith in need of 'back-up'.

@Steffi - that strong arm tactic the church is using with you is just inexcusable, you have to speak with the church leaders as if they own you, as if you 'owe' them anything. It's just that, a strong-arm tactic. As my husband said, I think I'd let them speak to my attorney if they refused to take my name off their rolls as requested without their little 'face to face' attempt to maintain their fold.

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Permalink Reply by Stephen Herron Buck 10 hours ago

Here's a big remote "hug" for what you are going through. Officially or not, church doctrine is not civil law so it matters not what procedures you follow after you realize the farce. Did you officially end/renounce all of your childhood pacts and clubs? The only thing you will be doing is letting them know to specifically ostracize you whenever possible. Unless you have re-worked all of your social and economic network, I advise against coming out of the closet too quickly as it can be devastatingly lonely. Worst case all of your friends and family will disown you and you will lose your job and can't find another inside this network. As isolated as you are, it might be better to "smile and wave".

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