Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 2:54pm

That's not the point. The US already has a birthrate that is below the replacement rate. The only reason that the population here is still growing is the relatively large rate of immigration.  The countries that need to worry about overpopulation are places like India and China, not the US.

But regardless, none of that has any bearing on my question. 

Permalink Reply by Emmy E on May 29, 2012 at 7:20am

It isn't that I don't want to raise children, but ever since I was about 12 years old I've known about how many children there are with no family, going through foster care, living in orphanages in 3rd world countries, etc... So I see myself adopting a child who needs a home, rather than having children of my own. There are also women who CAN'T have children, or they have a low chance of becoming pregnant. I respect women who go out and have IVF and hormone injections and all that, in order to become pregnant and birth their own children... But what's so wrong with giving a good home to a child who is already alive, and needs a family?

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 2:57pm

Sounds great, except it's not as easy as you paint it.  (I know, my ex and I tried.)

Besides, that's not the question.  If you want to adopt, fine, go ahead. But that doesn't mean everyone has to want the same things you do. 

Permalink Reply by Emmy E on May 29, 2012 at 3:10pm

You asked a question, and because people aren't agreeing with you, you're being rude. You asked a question. I gave you a perfectly good answer, as a woman who has no children, I am willing to raise children but would prefer to give a home to a child who doesn't have one. If you want a biological child, there are plenty of women who want to have children. You must not be looking in the right place. I know multiple people who have adopted, some single, some in M/F relationships, one M/M relationship. I know one couple who couldn't have children naturally, so the man donated sperm, the woman's sister donated eggs, they had a 3rd party surrogate. They are plenty of ways to have/raise children. Maybe try speaking to people without being so offensive... some of us responded politely in an attempt to help you, not have our heads bitten off.

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 4:58pm

I'm not the one being rude, you are.  You are being offensive, I'm not.  You're falsely accusing me of doing what YOU are doing.  You're the one biting people's heads off, not me.

If you don't want kids, fine.  I never disagreed with that.  But that completely ignores MY question.

You say there are plenty of women who want biological children?  That doesn't seem to be the case. 80% of the replies here seem to be against it, which is exactly what I'm finding in real life.  That is a distinct change from what things used to be like, and I'm puzzled by it.

Permalink Reply by Emmy E on May 29, 2012 at 6:42pm

Re-read your responses to people. People are giving you their perspective and you're responding poorly because nobody is giving you the fountain of women who want children.

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 8:06pm

Wrong. I'm responding poorly because you are being rude, offensive, engaging in personal attacks and making false accusations.

The one person here who DID politely disagree with me got a nice, polite thank-you from me. 

Attacking someone's choice to have children is not "giving your perspective".

Permalink Reply by Navitta Nelson on May 29, 2012 at 8:41am

Many women who have children and are doing the single mom thing are tired.  Raising a child without a father in the home is tiresome.  Mentally and physically.  Many, after having children and ending up single parents, are not willing to take a gamble at that happening, again.  You would do best finding someone that doesn't have children.

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 3:00pm

What does that have to do with anything I said?

My point was that so many of the (single, childless) women I meet say they don't want to have children at all.  Ever. With anyone. 

It's very discouraging, especially when one is male, and doesn't even HAVE the option of becoming a single parent. (Which I would have already done, if it were possible.)

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 4:52pm

18 years of MY life. Which is worth every bit as much as hers. A man ALSO has to consider what he has to give up and what life he can offer his child.  It works both ways.

Again, none of this has anything to do with what I posted.

And I didn't say I was "so worried".  You made that part up.  Why are you so hostile and negative?

Permalink Reply by Emmy E on May 29, 2012 at 7:09pm

Your last paragraph was what I meant in one of my replys, only worded better.

Permalink Reply by Michael on May 29, 2012 at 8:19pm

Being concerned and being "so worried" are different things. That's why there are different words for them.

If indeed we are discussing a small minority of women who do not want children, then that's fine. That's an answer.  The issue I brought up is that it does not appear to be a "small minority".  As a rough guess, approximately half the single women I encounter these days state that they don't want children. If they are atypical, ok, that's fine. But it seemed to me to be a marked increase from what I was used to, the former 'small minority' that you mentioned.

You say that a woman will "sacrifice 18 years of her life" - that's an equally meaningless promise.  As any number of abandoned children can testify. And can I provide all the things mentioned? You're damned right I can. Not that anyone would ever dare to ask a woman that question.

You have been the only one making accusations and unfounded assumptions, not me. I asked a question, and instead of answers, I've been attacked for desiring a normal life and family.

I would have welcomed a discussion along the lines of, "Yes/no, more women are/aren't deciding to have children these days."  But instead, almost everyone decided to start criticizing me for wanting children, and announcing that I should adopt, instead. 

This is exactly typical of what I have found - you have children yourself, yet are critical of anyone who only wants the same thing that you have yourself. 

Amazing.  What a hypocrite you are.

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