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An atheist married to a christian venting

While the fact that I, as an atheist, marrying a christian was a sure fire way to lead to disagreements it went a bit too far today.

She has spending each day at a ongoing church revival for the last two weeks. Today I finally raised a bit of concern for just how much time she was spending there each day (from about 10am to 3pm and then 6pm to 11pm each day). Her response was something that I have never experienced before - She "rebuked me in the name of Jesus", called me a devil and proceeded to follow me around the house talking in tongues. WTF! How is that any different then a small child sticking their fingers in their ears and saying "nanana I can't hear you!"? To me that is just incredibly disrespectful and dismissive as if anything said couldn't possibly be from a spouse but had to be the boogieman.

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Permalink Reply by mike h. on July 7, 2011 at 6:13pm

Hope you do not have children Brian....You are right, thats insane. I must say, years ago, like 25, I was in the deepest pain emotionally I have ever had. I fell back on what I had been taught, religion. I went to a church like that, started talking in "tongues" etc. etc., Well, after the "search" for everlasting love, and healer of all pain, I came out of it as KNOWING its insane. Delusional! You have some tough decisions to make going forward. Hang in there friend. Its much more than disrespect, as that implies there may be some respect with that type mindset. Keep informed ....You cannot fight the invisible man.

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Permalink Reply by Starscream on September 17, 2012 at 9:17pm

She'll think it's the devil tongue or postle tongue!

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Permalink Reply by Brian on July 7, 2011 at 6:23pm

We actually do have children which makes it a bit more complicated. They are young, 6 and 4. Sadly they actually witnessed that argument.

I actually did repeat it back to her since she kept saying the same thing over and and over. I'm like and what does that even mean?? Sure she didn't care for that but at that point, oh well.

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Permalink Reply by Hazel H. on August 9, 2011 at 6:35pm

Oh man, yes, that can be a problem too....

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Permalink Reply by Loren Miller on July 7, 2011 at 6:28pm

Response:

"Like it or not, you married me. I don't recognize your jebus, and your "rebuke" not only disrespects me, but it reads remarkably like a child's temper tantrum. My question to you is simple: are you willing to recognize that you have responsibilities to me that do not involve your church, and that your inattention to that responsibility compromises our relationship?"

Then, too, you could pull out old 1 Timothy 2:11-12, and see how she likes THEM apples!

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Permalink Reply by Brian on July 7, 2011 at 6:38pm

haha...I so love that verse.

I actually did point out it was like she was 2 years old and shoving her fingers in her ears saying "nanana I can't hear you!" Somehow I think it was lost on her though.

Anyway, thanks for the response idea!

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Permalink Reply by mike h. on July 7, 2011 at 6:39pm

Thats funny (Timothy)....but not a funny situation with children. They are being ignored also from "church" activities. Personally, I see religion as child abuse. Take care of kids. Loren had a very mature question to pose, but "dueling" gets nowhere in the end. Its almost impossible to rationalize with someone who has an invisible dictator thats more important than all else.

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Permalink Reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on September 18, 2012 at 12:24am

I agree, it's like trying to reason with an alcoholic who is drunk. To have to equivalent of a sober conversation with her, perhaps a change of scene would help.

Or if you want a divorce, start documenting her negligence. Keep a record of her failure to take care of the children. When you do have a serious talk, that record will make her failure seem more tangible (as it's evidence), instead of he says she says. It might help her to "wake up" to how her behavior would look to outsiders who aren't in her church.

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Permalink Reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on September 18, 2012 at 5:16pm

I amend my reply. Documenting her failures would be seen as hostile. Also, it occurred to me, after seeing one too many TV shows by Dr Daniel Amen, that brain health might be considered. Is she taking any medication with cognitive or emotional side effects, for example.