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Amusing Responses You Got From People When You Came Out About Being An Atheist.

I thougt It would be interesting to see some of the more comical responses people have received upon coming out. I'll start things off with my favorite.

I was about 16 and a guy in class found out that I didn't believe in god and he came up to me and asked

Boy: "So do you really not believe in god"

Me: "No."

Boy: "So.... You worship the devil?!"

I got this one in one form or another many times..... Gotta love the bible belt! :)


Scott

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awesome parenting!
"WTF" - my aunt
When I was @ 8 years old my father, who was at that time an Atheist though I wasn't told until after the divorce, was in a car accident. He broke all of his limbs and was in a coma. Once he got out of the hospital he converted to Catholicism. A few years after that, and after the divorce, I came to the realization that there is no god. I told my mother this, and she said "Look at what happened to your father for not believing." I don't think that she thought that one through to well, because I asked her how that made sense. God wanted my father to believe in him, so he almost killed him? Add the fact that after my father woke up from the coma he tried to cut off his own leg, shot a gun out of the back door saying "That guy called me an asshole." at three in the morning and accused my mother of not being my mother. It appeared to me from that point on that people who believe in a big sky daddy were insane.
I've gotten the "you worship the devil" thing too!
I was in my mid-30's when I started the path that turned me atheist. My brother's wife asked me why I felt the need to do this, and I told her things weren't working the way they were, and I wanted to make a change in beliefs. She then dismissed me with a "oh, you're just going through a mid-life crisis." yea, whatever.
Me: So what's the deal, do you have a problem with me being an Atheist?

Idiot: Yes I do. I can't support you in something like this. I serve the Lord *the guy is a raging hypocrite who doesn't read the bible, hasn't set foot in a church in FOREVER, and only prays when he needs something* and plus you've changed.

Me: What?

Idiot: You're different now, and being an Atheist is probably why all that stuff happened to you *lost my 3rd pregnancy while my husband was deployed*. You need to find a church and get your life right *oh the irony there!*.

Me: You know it wasn't that nice knowing you jackass, goodbye.

And we haven't spoken since. I'm still confused as to how in one day I managed to go from "the best mother and wife" he knew to the devil. But being an Atheist seems to carry magical powers I guess.
My neighbor has the same reply no matter what question I ask her. It is true because the bible says its so. I asked if only Christians can " be saved " and she says you must come to the lord Jesus to be saved. I try to avoid her because when she sees me she keeps telling me that god is calling me. She is a nice lady so I did not give her my usual sarcastic reply.
Hey John....When she tells you that "god is calling", You should respond with the following:

"Tell god that I screen my calls...and I'm not picking up!"

If you say it with a smile in your voice, she may not be too offended. If she can't see the humor in it, then she's truly beyond hope. :)
[He scrolls through his incoming calls....] Nope, don't show him here. You sure he's got the number?
Has he tried texting? I usually get those.

In order to save a person, u must convince them they are lost!! 

I live in Edmonton, Alberta, which is somewhat of an oasis in the Canadian Bible Belt™, and I also work at a casino, so there aren't too many god-bots roaming around. However, most people are still horrendously ignorant about atheism, religion, etc.

I bring my books to work to read on my breaks, and I brought Christopher Hitchen's anthology The Portable Atheist. One of my co-workers commented:

Co-worker: "The Portable Atheist"?

Me: Yes.

Co-worker: Do you agree with that stuff?

Me: Yes.

Co-worker: So, you're a scientologist?

Me: *laughs* No. Don't let the name fool you, Scientologists don't have anything to do with science.

Co-worker: Oh..

This same co-worker had told me previously that she wasn't personally a believer, but her husband was catholic. I responded fairly mildly with something along the lines of "how nice", but then she proceeded to explain how Christians "are losing their rights, don't you know."

I also laughed at this and responded saying that "they're losing 'special rights' that they never should have had in the first place."

She then went on to talk about how great Dan Brown was and how much secret, interesting information there is in "The Last Supper" painting. I proceeded to explain that it was painted about 1400 years after the event took place (if it actually did, I think it probably didn't) and that Leonardo da Vinci probably doesn't know anything more about "The Last Supper" than you do.

*sigh*

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