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Amusing Responses You Got From People When You Came Out About Being An Atheist.

I thougt It would be interesting to see some of the more comical responses people have received upon coming out. I'll start things off with my favorite.

I was about 16 and a guy in class found out that I didn't believe in god and he came up to me and asked

Boy: "So do you really not believe in god"

Me: "No."

Boy: "So.... You worship the devil?!"

I got this one in one form or another many times..... Gotta love the bible belt! :)


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In order to save a person, u must convince them they are lost!! 

I live in Edmonton, Alberta, which is somewhat of an oasis in the Canadian Bible Belt™, and I also work at a casino, so there aren't too many god-bots roaming around. However, most people are still horrendously ignorant about atheism, religion, etc.

I bring my books to work to read on my breaks, and I brought Christopher Hitchen's anthology The Portable Atheist. One of my co-workers commented:

Co-worker: "The Portable Atheist"?

Me: Yes.

Co-worker: Do you agree with that stuff?

Me: Yes.

Co-worker: So, you're a scientologist?

Me: *laughs* No. Don't let the name fool you, Scientologists don't have anything to do with science.

Co-worker: Oh..

This same co-worker had told me previously that she wasn't personally a believer, but her husband was catholic. I responded fairly mildly with something along the lines of "how nice", but then she proceeded to explain how Christians "are losing their rights, don't you know."

I also laughed at this and responded saying that "they're losing 'special rights' that they never should have had in the first place."

She then went on to talk about how great Dan Brown was and how much secret, interesting information there is in "The Last Supper" painting. I proceeded to explain that it was painted about 1400 years after the event took place (if it actually did, I think it probably didn't) and that Leonardo da Vinci probably doesn't know anything more about "The Last Supper" than you do.


The Canadian Bible Belt? Really? I thought we brave Canucks up here were devoid of that kind of lack of critical thinking as our lesser brothers down south suffered...


Just kidding, though I've never experienced any kind of outgoing religious activity from people out to convert others (except Jehova witnesses of course). Maybe it's just the Ottawa region though...

I get that too, but I get way more people who or at least pleasant with me about it. I can give you an example. The girl whom I started going to church with (strcikly platonic) knows that I no longer believe in a God, she still loves me, yes sometimes she trys to ask me to church. I know that she feels that she must do this and I can respect it cause she doesn't preach to me about it she just lets me know that if I wanted to anytime. I think its intolerance that is the issue. Its both ways we all know there are pleanty of militant atheist, I my self am a Secular humanist for the most part and I try and be tolerant and understanding of others. I am also linking this video for your viewing pleasure it is the first thing I thought of when I seen this blog
On the street approached by a Jehovah's Witness:

Her: "Can I interest you in this leaf......." (as she thrust a shockingly adorned pamphlet which looked like a cheesy old school christmas card....oh the irony)
Me: "I'm sorry, I don't believe in your God, or any Gods"
Her: "Oh, so what do you believe in?"
Me: "What do you mean?"
Her: "Well you have to believe you come from something, some god made you?"
Me: "Well no, I class myself as an Atheist."
Her: "Wow, really! So what do you believe in if you dont think this (pointing around) is the work of a God".
Me "Well I believe that children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the them all........"
Her: "Idiot" (as she walked off in a huff).
bahahahhahahhahahaha.  Reminds me of the movie Coming to America
this is slightly off topic, but since we're on the subject of christian conversations, one time when I was having lunchbreak at work. The woman at the table next to mine was telling her friend she didn't believe in anything that wasn't mentioned in the bible. So I guess that means airplanes, automobiles and computers are all just illusions brought by the devil.
I'm often mistaken by people of faith as one of their own, generally because I am happy, and in a good mood.

Discussion at my office in December 2009 -

Co-worker: "So, a bunch of us are having a Christian gift exchange at my house next weekend. Are you interested?"

Me: "Thanks but no. It would be hypocritical of me, being an atheist and everything."

-Many co-workers gasp in at the same time -

Me: "Don't worry. Unfortunately, it's not contagious."

Co-Worker: "So you don't believe in anything then."

Me: "Well, I believe in life, love, not beating my spouse or cheating on my spouse. I don't abuse my daughter, and my home and family are full of love. I don't steal, kill, or rape people. I know that some Christians can't say the same. I'll not apologize for being able to think for myself and not be told what's best for me by some people who wrote a book thousands of years ago."

Co-worker: "I'll pray for you to find Jesus."

Me: "Awww, isn't that cute! Let me know how it turns out for you. While you're at it, I could use a million dollars, too."

Co-worker: "You'd better watch out. God won't be mocked." (or something to that effect)

Me: "I'm sorry I won't be able to attend your gift exchange. It sounds like it's going to be a blast."

This co-worker has yet to speak to me. Needless to say, I'm really not that upset about it.
Don't know if it was amusing...perhaps pathetic (and cliched) would be a better description:
I pray for you...

How original...
I'm usually fairly laid back and easy going. It takes a lot to get me pissed off but it doesn't stop people from telling me I must be angry at God. I get weird looks when I answer them with:-
"that doesn't make sense".
"why not?"
"because I do not believe in a god to be angry at"

"you must still be angry at him....."
Ah, to live amongst the sheep and keep a level head. That is the sign of a true intellectual. Well done, brother.
While I was at work on an oil rig, a guy discovered my atheism and quickly informed everryone he could, as gossip goes at light speed around a rig. After his rant to everyone else, he walked by me and only said, "You're going to Hell on a gas truck!" I was most amused. I responded, "I don't believe in Hell, either, or gas trucks!" Actually, I do believe in gas trucks, but I bet you figured that out. The thing that sticks out in my mind, Hell is supposed to be pain, horror, torture and agony, right? What difference is a gas truck going to make? To this day, that guy won't hardly look at me.


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