Amusing Responses You Got From People When You Came Out About Being An Atheist.

I thougt It would be interesting to see some of the more comical responses people have received upon coming out. I'll start things off with my favorite.

I was about 16 and a guy in class found out that I didn't believe in god and he came up to me and asked

Boy: "So do you really not believe in god"

Me: "No."

Boy: "So.... You worship the devil?!"

I got this one in one form or another many times..... Gotta love the bible belt! :)


Scott

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I was in the bible belt and doing an internship at a nursing home. The director was very friendly and invited me to come to church one day and then asked what church I go to anyway.

I told her that I don't and all of the sudden her friendliness turned to disdain and she very regrettfully said "oh.....will your still invited" (Obviously she didn't feel she could take back the invite but didn't want me to come after all)
She probably expected you'd burst into flames if you entered the church.
Hehe, some of these are really amusing! Mine not so much, most of my "coming out" stories have a sad ending.. this one was a bit amusing though:

Guys walk up to the door, ring the doorbell. My husband answers.
Stranger: "Hi! We're here to talk to you about the bible!"
Hubby: "We're atheists and not interested."
Stranger: "Ah, a lot of people are turning away from religion. But! We're here to talk to you about the bible !!"
Me: "We don't believe in the bible. We're a-theists."
Stranger, looking shocked: "Oh... okay. Goodbye then!"

I know it's not that funny, but the look on his face had me giggling behind the door :)
I have a similar one. One came to my door, and I happened to b wearing my "Friendly Neighborhood Atheist" shirt. He finished his initial spiel, and when he was done I told him he had the wrong house. He said “Yeah I can see that.” I told him to have a nice day and he left.
I had a pair of either Christians or Mormons, I think the latter but I could be mistaken, come to my house early in the morning. Being that I usually get to sleep around 3AM, I wasn't very amused.

They went off on their introductory spiel and I attempted to start a debate, since I was already up and might as well get some humor out of my morning. Unfortunately, they quickly said they had to be on their way after I had listed a few reasons I didn't believe.

So, not really funny... just kinda boring.
Right on! That's awesome.
At the catholic high school I went to, you used to pick up your yearbook at the following Thanksgiving "Homecoming". I can remember when my friends and I went in that fall of '80, we openned it and saw on the inside cover the pope (he came to Boston in '79). We started talking how he and all of the catholic dogma was load of crap. What we didn't know was a nun we had through high school was behind us listening. She freaked out. "Oh my God, where did we fail you boys?!?! I'm going to pray for all of you. Blah, blah, blah..." It was quite funny and throw in we were probably stoned, made it even funnier.
I was at that mass on Boston Common...rained like heck. I was in high school and a theist (but Lutheran). Still, it was interesting to see the pope.
I was breezing through the front entrance of the county fair last summer, and there was a godder booth right there with a man and a woman in it. The man piped up with "Have you heard the good news?" I said "I'm an atheist, and I think what you do is harmful. Nothing you have to say is good news." And I kept on going.

The man looked shocked, but the woman called after me "There's no such thing as an atheist!" I looked back and she had this creepy smile on her face. It was obvious she had some prepared answer she wanted to hit me with, but I wasn't interested in it. I just kept on walking.

In this day and age, I think the important thing is to not back down, to not let them get the better of you. No matter what religion a person is, they have no right to force you to listen to them, to agree with them, or to give up your own self-esteem in order to not get into a confrontation.

Every time this stuff has come up in real life, the aggression has always been on the Christian (or once, Muslim) side. I've never tried to force my views on people, but I've had Christian views forced on me ... probably thousands of times.

That being said, I DO talk to young people anytime I get the chance, telling them I'm an atheist and explaining what it means to me. And I recommend the practice to every atheist. If godders can proselytize, we certainly have the same right.

The interesting thing has been that the vast majority of the time, the kids I talk to are either already atheists or they're having profound doubts about their religion. In either case, they appreciate having someone to talk to about it. Only one time have I felt that my forthrightness was unappreciated.
I have had run-ins with jehovah's witnesses, mormons and christians...and revel in reducing them to intellectual ruble.

As far as children are concerned I'm more sensitive because I'm not sure how to go about it. I did tell my 5 year old niece that church and the bible are bad for her once. I don't do it in front of my sister because she wants my niece to choose for herself, which I respect.
I'm still trying to figure out the right time to tell my kids that there is no god. They are only 4 and 2, but are both regulars at Church given my wife's very strong Christian faith. I'm worried that if I lift the veil on god, I'll have to fess up about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny too(dont laugh, I'm being serious). Kids are kids and deserve the right to some fantasy while they dont have the pressures of the grown-up world on them. I do however try to plant seeds in the mind of my 4yo, testing whether he can discern between reality and make believe. I suspect that I might just be able to tug subtly enough at the lead that they will draw the correct conclusions themselves.
I would suggest getting them to think about it when they figure out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny :)

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