Amusing Responses You Got From People When You Came Out About Being An Atheist.

I thougt It would be interesting to see some of the more comical responses people have received upon coming out. I'll start things off with my favorite.

I was about 16 and a guy in class found out that I didn't believe in god and he came up to me and asked

Boy: "So do you really not believe in god"

Me: "No."

Boy: "So.... You worship the devil?!"

I got this one in one form or another many times..... Gotta love the bible belt! :)


Scott

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When I was about eight my mother had some of her friends from church over for coffee.

I was playing in the living room and I overheard "Shh he doesn't know he isn't real yet"

I yelled back "I figured out he wasn't real last year, so don't worry"

My mom answered back "Who told you Santa wasn't real, did one of your friends"

Of course I was talking about god, I folded and said "last Christmas I figured it out but I didn't want to hurt your feelings"

It was two decades longer before I filled her in on my real feelings.

A common one is "But you HAVE to believe in SOMETHING!"

 

... my usual response is "I do believe in something, reality"

I like that response.  My response has always been the incredulous double blink. They almost always get pissed at that point and leave.  (I never was any good at poker.)

Les Athees Napoleoneinne - VikingTrance

 

Je m'ennuie parce que je ne connaissais pas de chrétiens fondamentalistes. Mes amis sont indifférents à mon athéisme. Je n'ai pas une histoire humoristique de partager avec vous.

Peter said: "Sorry, I don't know any fundamentalist christians. My friends don't care at about my atheism. I have no humorous past to share with you."

 

 

My favorite response:

Me: "I'm an atheist"

Close friend of mine: "What's that?"

Me: "I don't believe in God."

Friend: "Bullshit, you're a christian."

 

 

Runner up:

Me: "Yes, (Name deleted.) I'm an Atheist."

Name Deleted: "You're the last person I'd expect to be one."

Me: "...."

Name deleted: "You just seem to be a good person."

Me"......"

 

 

Gotta love when the town you live in is 90% Catholic.

    I guess I must be doing something wrong. When I have told people that I am an athiest I get no response at all. Many of my coworkers are very religious, but they accept me for who I am and my lack of belief. I wear a FSM pin on my uinform and the only response so far was from the daughter of a patient who said she knew her father was in good hands.
Damn misspelled atheist, haven't finished my 1st cup of tea for the day. My brains still at home in bed.
It depends on where you are and who you associate with. I live in a town where 90 percent of the kids are sheltered, and are only exposed to one belief. Ergo, most of my friends are religious, and most likely have a problem with me being an atheist. I'm long over it. It's depressing, but that seems to be the general idea in small towns.

Me and my mom were talking about how souls and heaven and stuff

Me: So you think once we die, everything in our brain just magically gets teleported to some place in the sky, where we "live" forever?

Mom: No, not our brains, our spirits. You know, us.

Me: But "we" are our brains. Every memory and aspect of our personality is in our brain.

Mom: You're thinking way to hard about this.

I facepalmed in my head

I personally have gotten rejected by a few friends for not believing. Supposedly I'm under the mind control of my other atheist friends, instead of making my own grown adult decisions. My atheist friends showed me some contradictions in the inerrant word of god; after about a year i fell out of religion. i used to be in a christian band. This was not an easy deconversion.

My mom, a Mormon, tells me i'm not godless because I'm a good person. I guess she associates being a bad person with being a godless one.

To give a little backstory on me, I've had a lot of awful experiences in my life. I used to be a pretty devout Catholic (taught Sunday school and went to church with my grandmother). I tried to turn to the actual bible for comfort and guidance while suicidal and found none inside, which caused me to doubt Catholicism. That's where this all started.

Lest I give the impression that this wasn't a rational decision, one day I was discussing religion with my fiance and realized that I was basically saying, "Yeah, you Abrahamic religions are so fake, but these ancient Celtic gods who have just as much evidence to support their existence as you do TOTALLY EXIST." Once I realized my hypocrisy, I became an atheist, and it was like a breath of completely rational fresh air.

A few months later, I decided I should tell my "salad bar Catholic" mother that her daughter is a heathen. Here's the conversation.

Me: Mom, I have to talk to you about something important.

Mom: Okay, what's wrong?

Me: Well, nothing's wrong exactly. I just thought I should let you know that I'm an atheist.

Mom: *makes a strangled noise like I'd told her some friends were coming around for dinner and I'd prepared kitten a l'orange.*

There was a very, very long pause.

Mom: You're... you're an ATHEIST? How can you possibly be an ATHEIST?

Figuring it was the best place to start, I thought I should explain the whole process. I tried to enumerate the reasons that had caused me to doubt the existence of a creator as described in the bible in the first place: Emotionally, physically, and sexually abusive boyfriend, broken-up family, divorced parents, one of whom implicitly blames me for said divorce, etc.

Mom: Well, did you ever think god wanted it that way?

We didn't continue the conversation for very long after that, because I saw it was pointless to try and talk about the science I had learned since becoming an atheist, or the evidence that supports atheism (meaning, all of the evidence).

The part that makes me laugh is her hypocrisy. That's probably the single most amoral thing she could have said, and yet she thinks of herself as (and would be lauded as) a "good christian."

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