Mary announces to Joseph that she is pregnant. And Joseph, of course, knows that they have not had "relations."

Joseph: You're pregnant! My god, whose baby is it? I'll kill him!

Mary: The Holy Ghost made me pregnant.

Joseph: The Holy Ghost?? What kind of bullshit is that?!? Whoever heard of such a thing?

 (And--use your imagination. He might go on calling her all kinds of abusive things.)

Of course the religious would call this sacrilege. But as a matter of fact, in a "nativity scene" in one medieval English "mystery play," a midwife arrives for Mary too late, the baby is already born. The midwife, when she hears that Mary was a virgin, is skeptical and wants to examine Mary to see for herself. It's funnier than it sounds in my re-telling.

Tags: Christ, Christmas, Mary, Virgin, birth, nativity, of, story

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Good one!

There was a news story on AOL/Huffington Post about a billboard that showed the Virgin Mary checking a pregnancy test. A woman who commented on the story said, "Blasphemous!"

I replied to her by writing essentially the little anecdote above, and I added, "I'll pay you $500 if I'm struck by lightning for posting this." Well of course I feel my bank account is secure, and I also don't expect to have to answer for it at "The Pearly Gates."

I've got another little comment for you-all: If the communion wafer is "the body of Christ," is eating it cannibalism? Does it taste like chicken??

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