I feel, that, in all fairness, I should reveal a little about myself. I hope what is read here does not disturb anyone. The fact is that I am a mental patient (complete with psychiatrist and psychologist). My diagnosis is that I have a psychotic disorder not otherwise specified (meaning they do not know how to classify it based on the symptoms I present when I enter into psychotic states of mind). I'm also diagnosed with paranoid personality disorder, and I am always paranoid on some level, sometimes less, sometimes more.
It's just a disease, like diabetes, cancer, or other illnesses. I have no control over it, except the ability to realize that my paranoia is just that..paranoia, and not to act on that paranoia. Know now, neither my mental illness nor my congenitally deformed leg and amputated foot, is the reason for my atheism, except in as far as it helps me more than it does some to see the flaws in this so-called intelligent design that the Creationists preach about.
I hope I have neither disturbed nor alienated any of the friends I've made here with my admission. I simply felt I owed it to everyone to be up front and honest.
Not easy at all for you to tell this, and very difficult for you to live with such a disease! It seems to me that you must have a hard time to estimate your experiences: e.g. is this due to my own illness or to someone else's, or is someone just rude or stupid? Thanks for sharing; you haven't disturbed or alienated me.
You haven't disturbed or alienated me.
I suffered from severe depression and had a nervous breakdown in 2000 while practising law and being addicted to alcohol and cocaine. I went into hospital for two months and saw a shrink on a monthly basis for eight years thereafter. I was only forty and it forced my early retirement. I will remain on medication for the rest of my life.
I don't use alcohol or cocaine any more and no longer suffer from severe depression. I'm happy, healthy and fond of life now. Fortunately, I was well insured and had good medical and other professional help and receive a good pension for life.
I suffered from severe depression and had a nervous breakdown in 2000 while practising law and being addicted to alcohol and cocaine.
I used to get very depressed after a cocaine high had worn off. If you were using a lot of it, it seems like that in itself could cause depression.
I'm not surprised to hear you've been very depressed, since you have a sense of humor that seems like it could come out of depression.
Doesn't bother me in the slightest, Anthony. And your observation that it's just a disease like diabetes or cancer is 100% correct. You have Psychosis NOS. I have type 2 diabetes. And, you and I are both bald. Something neither one of us asked for, though we both save a lot on shampoo:) Seriously, we both recognize our conditions and deal with them in the appropriate, medically tested, and accepted manner. Here's to a long and good life for both.
Bald isn't a disease. It's the physical expression that one has overcome the tyranny of the follicle.
If only faces would become bald, huh?
I don't wish for the facial hair aspect of the male human condition.
A bald face is something I've desired for many years. However, I wouldn't trade it for what women have to go through.
I like that Daniel! I haven't fully overcome the tyranny of the follicle yet.
Next time I see my doctor, I'm going to ask him if there's a way to accomplish it without bad side-effects.
You and I are friends Tony, and you know that your illness doesn't bother me in the least. You don't owe the people on AN any explanation, but you are very brave for putting yourself out there. Everyone here that's read anything you've posted knows what a smart and thoughtful man you are. That's all that matters. I wish you didn't have to go thorough what you do, but I will always be your friend. You are a really neat guy Tony! Hugs to you, Mindy
You don't come across as paranoid on A/N.
A lot of the problems related to having a mental health diagnosis are from the stigma of the diagnosis. Which in itself gives people reason to mistrust others.
It's sad that you also have very little money - probably related to your diagnosis.
There's a lot you can do about paranoia and psychotic states, if they are caused or aggravated by delayed food allergies. If you have good health care, you can see if the doctor will prescribe gluten sensitivity testing. If not, you can do a hypoallergenic elimination diet followed by food challenges to see if your state of mind is being influenced by illness. This is more likely if you have unexplained health problems.
I went through radical psychological changes when I stopped eating gluten and other foods I had these allergies to. The changes included feeling much more OK around people. I became tense and paranoid after food challenges with some of the foods I had these allergies to. Also there was a mildly hallucinatory aspect to my vision that went away after I quit these foods.
There's some research evidence for a connection between food allergy and schizophrenic/psychotic states. What the research generally points to is that sometimes schizophrenia/psychosis is influenced by gluten (or maybe other foods) and other times it isn't.
You don't come across as paranoid to me either. Best wishes to you in your troubles.
I've been accused of being paranoid a couple of times, but I don't think I am. I'm sure I'm not irrational or delusional.
I'm a worrier, but I know the correct odds of things that worry me, happening to me. I know some of my fears have a very remote chance of happening to me. Some a million to one, and some a billion to one against.
It's just that some things that will probably never happen to me, are things that would be so unpleasant, that I'm willing to spend more of my time and resources than most people would, in order to further change the odds in my favor.