Does Atheism Complicate Dating, Romance and Love?
One particular instance was the most frustrating because the woman I was dating was an Agnostic who didn't really have a solid stance one way or another on anything spiritual/religious... but she still just couldn't accept the fact that I didn't believe in some kind of higher power. She claimed that she couldn't trust anyone who relied so heavily on logic to guide their life. She somehow felt that I was cold, overly logical and rigid simply because of the fact that I didn't believe in a higher power. The weird part is that I was constantly making her laugh and that I am in fact a very silly person. When I told my friends all of this after she broke things off with me, they were all very confused as to how she could think of me this way. This lead me to believe that it was solely some kind of preconceived notion within her mind that anyone who doesn't "believe" is somehow a bad person.
That isn't the only problem that I've had in this capcity... I've had Christians who refused outright to get involved with me because of their faith... and we all know that the majority of people out there are Christians and Muslims, both of which have strict rules on faith in this regard. I've had Pagans (two, in fact) get into arguments with me that were started by them and that lead to a falling out. It just seems to me that finding love as a non-believer is much more difficult than for the broader spectrum of people out there. It was very disheartening to see that even an Agnostic, who openly admitted that they didn't know what was "out there" would abandon a relationship based solely on this aspect of someone else's life.
So I turn the idea over to you all... do you have any similar experiences? Do you think that it is reasonable for people to be so discriminatory in selecting their partner? I'd love to hear what everyone has to say on this subject, no matter if you agree or disagree with my stance on the issue. Is there some kind of solution to this problem? Do we just not discuss our lack of belief with anyone except for our own kind? Do we only try to date our own kind? Do we continue on as we always have and just hope that some day the barriers that separate us come tumbling down? It is a very tough issue to handle...
Tags: Atheism, Christianity, Dating, Love, Religion, Romance
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Brad Feaker on -
Forsaken,
My personal experience has been OK. I am a (very) former christian and have been married for 18 years. When I embraced the fact that I had come full circle to atheism it did not cause any trouble in my marriage. My wife is a very unconcerned Deist and has no problem with my atheism - or my son's lack of belief. I guess I am very lucky that I haven't even lost any friends either - some of whom are devout believers. I am totally open about my atheism - I post here with my real name and picture and haven't had a bad experience yet. Good luck...
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Permalink Reply by Forsaken on -
I guess you could then say that their intolerance begat something positive... even if it came out of a negative thing. ;o)
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Permalink Reply by Rosa on -
lol, maybe you could have replied something like this,"too bad you're christian cause I'm hot and I won't date you."...it works both ways. :)
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Permalink Reply by Slick Nick on -
There's this girl that likes me. But we will never work. She's a mormon, Im a hardcore atheist.
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Permalink Reply by Forsaken on
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Is she mormon from being born into it? Or is she mormon because she truly believes in it? This might be a discussion that you could breach the wall with, just don't call yourself a "hardcore" Atheist in your potential discussion... because this will probably shut her down... it is better to approach the subject from a neutral stance. That is, if you actually do like her as well... Hmm...
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Permalink Reply by Slick Nick on
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Well Im pretty sure she was born into it and believes it. But I dont really like her a lot, so Im not going to try to convert her or date her xD
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Permalink Reply by Jezzy on -
I'm "Mormon", but only if my momma asks. ;D
Funny though how people cling to the religion they were born in. . .
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Permalink Reply by Skylar on -
Interesting. I have never dated a believer. I just couldn't do it. I guess we all have lines drawn in the sand.
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Permalink Reply by Forsaken on
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I fully admit, that it is difficult to come to terms with dating a believer... but despite that, I think that it would be possible. I guess I do not feel SO strongly about my lack of belief that I feel the need to cordon myself off from those who believe... hmmm. Odd.
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Permalink Reply by Avarice on -
I have had some trouble with dating theists. Religion usually doesn't come up in conversation, but when the lucky girl says something like "god has blessed me so much," and i just remain silent, it creates somewhat of a rift between us. I actually dated a muslim girl once who was a typical half-assed moderate. She thought it was funny that I was a vegetarian and used to make me the butt of her juvenile "real men eat meat" jokes. Taking it in stride I eventually commented on her refusal to eat pork. I told her I would eat a whole steak if she agreed to eat a pulled pork sandwich. When she refused to call my bluff, I said at least I was a vegetarian for real world reasons as opposed to just following a pedophile false prophet. Needless to say that didn't work out well.
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