Funerals

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Permalink Reply by Andrea on August 24, 2008 at 12:59pm

I remember my grandfathers funeral (he was never religious) and the preacher talked about his lost soul never finding Jesus. Its pretty disgusting. I decided upon my death I would love a party in celebration of my life. As for my body I really dont care what they do with it. Creamate it or give it to science.

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Permalink Reply by LeaT on August 24, 2008 at 1:47pm

I don't understand the reason for a funeral, I don't like them. I don't want to mourn the people officially (I can do that well enough myself at home thank you), I remember when I was at my mother's funeral when I was 6 years old. I was the COMPLETELY worst experience I ever had in my whole life (as well seeing her dead corpse when deciding what flowers and what dress she would wear for the funeral). I NEVER want to attend a funeral again, even if I must to, even if it's someone whom I hold dearly. Funerals are not a celebration to the past living, it is a celebration to death, and thus in my opinion, a very negative experience all in all. I remember that I refused to visit her tombstone for many years at Halloween (we have a similar but more smaller thing in Sweden too) and going there still makes me feel anxious. No, when I die, I don't want any ceremony, I don't want to be buried in a chest. I would prefer to be cremated and my ashes spread somewhere and rather have people keep me in their hearts than having a silly tombstone to mark my time of death.

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Permalink Reply by Andrea on August 31, 2008 at 9:28am

My mother passed away when I was 28 from breast cancer and it was the hardest time for me thus far. I could not imagine being 6 and losing my mother. I dont know why we parade our dead. Its tramatic to kids. Why not their best picture on display instead of a body. I felt very protective of my mother. As people lined up to get a look at her it made me feel sick inside. It is not a bad experience. It is a horrible experience and I too hate going to funerals!!!

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Permalink Reply by Randall "Doc" Fleck on August 24, 2008 at 6:24pm

I think you'll fine that your attitudes toward religiously designed funeral services will be reflected by a lot of us here on Nexus... including me.

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Permalink Reply by The Nerd on August 24, 2008 at 11:03pm

You'd better write this down somewhere, or nobody will show, because they'll think I've gone crazy. Well, maybe your brother will come to the party - after all, where there is beer, there he will be also.

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Permalink Reply by Sarah on August 24, 2008 at 7:27pm

Funerals are for the living. My husband knows that I don't care about any kind of ceremony and he doesn't want to have to do anything either. It's a waste of time and money. When my children are grown, I will talk to them about what they might want to do to honor my life (or not). I don't really have much of an opinion on what goes on when I am gone, since I clearly will not care.

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Permalink Reply by damian on August 24, 2008 at 8:32pm

I lost alot of relatives in the last two years, and it seemed like more of a family reunion than an event to remember the deceased. I don't see these people except for funerals, and i can't stand small talk. I'm related to them, and i realize that they are going with what they remember of me (my childhood), but it's really depressing for me. I am not that kid they remember. One of my cousins (very religious) actually walked away from me, after asking if i was married and had kids. I said no to both, and he was stumped, and walked off! It started to feel like a gossip session, and my grandmother was just lying over there in the casket. I don't like funerals, never have. When my dad died a long time ago, i was not comforted by all these strangers trying to hug me. I wanted to be alone. Sitting thru mass brought back alot of memories. I felt very irritated with kneeling, standing, doing some gesture with my thumb on the forehead and nose; you former catholics may know what i'm trying to describe. I never knew what that was for, never did it right, or at the right time. The best feeling was getting in my truck, rolling down my window, loosening my tie, putting some music on, grabbing a snack at the store and driving away from that madness.

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Permalink Reply by LeaT on August 26, 2008 at 4:04am

Yeah, I agree of what you said. Funerals seem to be strange forced ceremonies but for whom is it needed? Well tbh I hate huge gatherings, and huge for me means like 5+ people. It's also strange when you meet relatives like that, even long distance ones, and you feel that you are supposed to know this person, but you really don't. That's why I don't like this relative thing either. I don't have any close relationship with any of my relatives and I am fine with that. I can't stand to have everyone under my skin, that is only for those I really allow only,which is like 1-2 tops.

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Permalink Reply by LoLo on August 24, 2008 at 9:36pm

My grandmother (father's side) died last summer, and it was a horrible experience. I didn't know her that well, but I still felt bad. I more or less mourned for my father, he took her death pretty hard. His sister is a religious zealot... she told my father that he was going to hell because he didn't go to church the day after their mother died. She also said that my mom and I were going to go to hell too if we did start going to church either, and that it was their mother's last wish for us all to go to her church. My mom stepped up and said "out of all the people here Burl (my dad) is the least likely to go to hell, I know he's going to heaven!" -- The ironic thing about that statement is that my mom doesn't really believe in the afterlife, she just said it to piss off my aunt.

Well at the funeral my aunt (the same one who said we're all going to hell) stood up at the podium and actually had the nerve to say "I've been at funerals where we've actually discussed if the person who had died is in heaven or not." I'm thinking, what the fuck kind of funeral is that!? You actually wondered if the deceased is burning for all eternity? What the hell is that all about??

I told my parents that if I happen to die before they do to either donate my body to science or cremate me and scatter my ashed across Europe or something. And if they have to have a memorial service...I don't want god or jesus or anything supernatural mentioned.

I've been to a lot of funerals in my short time on this earth, and I still don't know if they are necessary in the grieving process or not.

Although 3 years ago I went to a funeral of a friend of mine I had gone to high school with. I hadn't seen her since graduation, but at the funeral I ran into a lot of my friends who I hadn't seen in a long time. We were brought together over a very tragic death of a person who was only 21-years-old. We all went out to the bar after the funeral and just swapped stories about our friend who had died. It had helped with the grieving process...

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Permalink Reply by LeaT on August 26, 2008 at 4:07am

Well tbh, just talking about it helps the process, doesn't matter with whom it is with, or what that person knows about the deceased. The issue with our mentality in the west is that being depressed and feeling sad should not be shown or discussed, so people often just carry all their bad feelings within themselves. For some people it might work it might not, and they might need professional help later in life.

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Permalink Reply by Фелч Гроган on August 24, 2008 at 11:39pm

I read somewhere you can donate your body to military ballistics testing. That would be neat. Other than that, harvest my organs and donate the rest to necrophiles. Make everybody happy.

On a serious note - funerals have to be the ultimate expression of egocentric materialism. Its just a carcass. Get over it.

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Permalink Reply by LeaT on August 26, 2008 at 4:08am

Well yeah, in a sense it is, and it is by no means the same person you knew since that person is alive.

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