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Why don't you want kids? What the hell is wrong with you?

I'm just curious as to why everyone doesn't want kids. I have a multitude of reasons myself. First off, for selfish reasons, I simply have never had any desire whatsoever. I'm 28, and I thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster every day of my life that I'm not a breeder. I rarely ever meet anyone who is actually happy with their kids. Sure, in between complaints, they might say, "nah, but I really love them," but I think a lot of people had them on accident or didn't know what they were in for.

Regardless of how breeders end up feeling, I just don't like kids that much. They can be fun to hang out with sometimes if they are well parented, but I wouldn't want to take one home to stay. They take up too much time and attention and I don't find them all that interesting. I want to be able to move and travel, not having to worry about finding a babysitter, or taking them with me on vacation, or dragging them away from their friends to move to a new state. I've always enjoyed having a lot of time to myself, and if I had kids, I'd hardly have that.

From an unselfish view, I don't think I have the right to bring someone into this world. It's not my life - not my choice. This world is pretty messed up. All sorts of shit can happen: rape, assualt, murder, accidents, mental illness, other diseases, etc. If I can guarrantee someone's happiness, I don't think it's right of me to bring them into this world. Then, there's the enviornment. I don't want to make myself have an exponential carbon foot print by breeding. We already use too many of the earths resources and cause a lot of pollution. One of the best ways to help with that is to not create another human.

On a side note, I did a ten-minute speech in college for speech class on this very subject and a lot of the written comments I got back were dumb shit like "this guy is depressed; he should get help." It's pretty dumb when people think there's something wrong with you because you acknowledge the dangers of this world and are sympathetic about how that will affect future children.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Miss Elaine on August 28, 2008 at 10:22pm

"So funny."

...and yet so scary.

This kind of thing is what makes me think that I should spawn.

Permalink Reply by Retrovertigo on August 31, 2008 at 2:07pm

"Welcome to Costco. I love you. Welcome to Costco. I love you..."

The movie Idiocracy raises an interesting point, but I don't think genes are the whole picture; there are also memes.

meme [meem] – noun. a cultural item that is transmitted by repetition in a manner analogous to the biological transmission of genes.

Dawkins had some interesting things to say about memes in his foreword to the book "The Meme Machine". Memes are replicators that change or 'mutate' a bit with each replication. They also compete for resources (minds to occupy) and are therefore subject to evolutionary principles. I think that if positive memes that reinforce intelligence and critical thinking (such as atheism) get enough emphasis, it may be our saving grace from ending up like the 'futuristic' nation in "Idiocracy". In fact, evolutionary principles acting on memes may make them favor the development of a more intelligent population. Memes may act to increase the amount of resources available to them, specifically minds intelligent enough for them to progress. That would be our (nonbreeder) job; the reinforcement of positive memes. The breeders are generally too busy just trying to cover the basics of raising children and have a hard enough time just teaching them the basics of right and wrong.

Permalink Reply by B-Girl on February 22, 2009 at 8:51pm

Yeah, it is a bit of a problem that the ones having the most kids are the ones least fit to be raising kids. If it isn't the religious nutter quiverfullers, it is the trash who start breeding before they get out of high school and don't actually try to teach their kids any values and whose kids will be having kids young, whose kids will be having kids young, whose kids will be having kids young... Think how quickly 1 woman can have 100 descendants if she starts having kids at 16, has 4 by the time she is 20 and they each follow in her footsteps. I knew a girl in high school that had 2 kids before she was 16 years old, I believe she had 4 before she was 18, who knows how many she has now, I doubt she stopped at 4 since she didn't stay with the father of those ones was the type to have more so her new man could kids of his own. It is disgusting.

Permalink Reply by Buffy on July 28, 2008 at 2:20pm

I knew from my teens that I didn't want to have kids. I've never changed my mind.

I have many reasons for this, the first of them being that I can barely afford to support myself and put away a bit for the future (and there were times I couldn't put anything away for the future even when I was working multiple jobs). How could I support child(ren)? IMO it's utterly irresponsible to have children knowing full well you don't have the means to care for them.

What infuriates me are the nitwits who proclaim, usually with some religious babble as their "proof", that we are required somehow to spew forth a litter. That many people who have children end up abusing and neglecting them seems to matter little to these fools. That the planet is overpopulated and resources are scarce also doesn't matter. All that matters is the Buy-bull said "go forth and multiply" so we're to breed like rabbits, or like Duggars.

BTW, here's an interesting Newsweek article I read that shows childless couples are actually happier, despite the twaddle we've had drilled into our heads over our lifetimes.

Permalink Reply by Jim Winkler on July 30, 2008 at 6:03am

I don't seem to have the personality for it. I get migraines and have had kids jumping up and down on me. If I could not get away from them, I would probably do something real bad. Also, it seems that my migraines are congenital. I really would not want to pass that on to them.

I am also concerned about the environment and raw materials. Fewer people mean less consumption.

I have personally urged companies to have day care centers -to no avail- I think some people should be forced to breed for the benefit of the State.

Permalink Reply by Sondra on August 1, 2008 at 9:08am

Ever since I was little, I've never had the "traditional family" dream (for instance, when I played house with my sisters, I was the cat).

I don't want kids for, as many of us have stated, selfish reasons. However, I also just don't think I would be good at raising a child. I'm not particularly fond of them in general; depends on the kid, of course, but you can't choose how your own children turn out.

I also think it's socially irresponsible to have children at this point, with overpopulation and so many children without parents already.

Anyone else get raked over the coals for this by family members? Mine are Catholic, if that puts things into perspective :\

Permalink Reply by Pariahjane on August 1, 2008 at 10:37am

My parents don't seem to take issue with my choice but my brother is utterly perplexed by it. He thinks there is something wrong with me because I don't want kids. He always asks 'who is going to take care of you when you're old?' I always reply 'your kids.' I think that's a crappy reason for having kids, anyway.

If the b-friend and I ever get married I have a feeling it will become a major issue in his family.

I just don't see the need for children, that's all. I may change my mind in the future. Or I may not.

Permalink Reply by Buffy on August 2, 2008 at 6:11pm

"Who is going to take care of you when you're old?"

Not only is that a crappy (and selfish) reason for having kids, but these days many people don't even take care of their aging parents for one reason or another. Long gone are the days when grandparents lived with the whole extended family a-la "The Waltons" until they died. Hence the proliferation of various leveled care facilities for the elderly.

Permalink Reply by Pariahjane on August 4, 2008 at 12:58pm

Exactly. Where is the guarantee that your kids are going to take care of you in the first place? What happens if there is a falling out, or if your kid is disabled and CAN'T take care of you.

It is a very bad reason for having kids.

Permalink Reply by AtheistJoy on August 11, 2008 at 3:58pm

Go to any nursing home on any Sunday afternoon and ask the kids if they are 'taking care' of mom and dad.

Oddly enough, I was the one who took care of my mom until she died. She fretted constantly about my lack of children to do the same for me. My brother refused to help my mother when she became disabled. Part of the reason was the hers/mine/ours-kids living situation in his home; there was just no room in his life for a disabled woman.

Permalink Reply by Stefani on August 2, 2008 at 7:27pm

I don't like kids. My niece and nephew are okay in very small doses, but I don't really enjoy the company of non-adults. Also, I like not having to get up at 3am to change a diaper or clean up vomit...

Permalink Reply by Septic Sceptic on August 4, 2008 at 6:02pm

"Who's going to take care of you when you're old?"

Worst reason for having children... ever.

What's your pet name for the kid going to be? 'my little retirement investment'?

Are you going to homeschool them with classes on "how mummy likes her coffee" and "lifting daddy out of the bath 101"?

Hell, why not go all out and build a fucking pyramid so your kids can be entombed with you after you die? Once you're not around their lives are purposeless, right?

Sorry.

The selfishness of that argument just pisses me off.

Incidentally, having a child costs around £200,000. You could get into a pretty fancy retirement home with that kind of money, huh?