Just moved into my university accomodation this weekend. I've seen notices for an atheist student body, but I wasn't thinking of joining until now, as I'm feeling a little like Winston Smith after these last few days.

When I go out on the first afternoon, the Christian student union are on every corner of the campus, handing out flyers to anybody who passes. I thought nothing of it at the time, but when I got home, the university's Catholic student body had left a leaflet for each member of the flat, inviting us to mass.

Then today, as I go shopping, a guy falls into step with me and starts talking about sharing a gospel. I say no thanks, and he hands me a postcard advising me to read the book of Mormon.

Then tonight, I come to the computer labs to tell you all this story... and there's a copy of the Watchtower magazine next to every computer!

So come on guys, JW's, Mormons, or the Catholics, who should I offer my soul to?

Maybe I'll make them fight over me.

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How aweful, I'm sorry. In my university there are advertising of masses and talks with bishops and stuff like that, but there are not actual people in the grounds trying to trick you into them.
Still I have some horrible teachers and tutors that talk about god and jesus like if everyone in the room were catholics =/. Today in fact, as we reviewed Nichomachean Ethics by Aristoteles, the guy that was helping us make an example (about how love in any relationship can improve you): "well, you love your mom, your boyfriend, your friends, you love God too..." in a very normal matter. And I was like "uhm...why the hell do you assume all the people in the room are theists"? UGH
Is there any way to escape from those people??
Offer yourself to the highest bidder. Then make the opening bid $1,000,000.
I once read about a tactic for getting around rip-off car dealers by calling one, getting a price for a car, then calling their competitor with that price, forcing them to better it in order to win the sale. You could apply that so easily to this kind of situation.

"Forget the Catholics, become a Mormon! You can have all the wives you want, plus we'll throw in this keyring!"

"Catholics, what say you?"

"Two keyrings and a ride in the popemobile!"

"Ooh, I like that. JW's?"

"Well, we don't have a popemobile- though we do have a magazine. And if you give yourself a papercut you get to bleed to death for Jesus!"
This would be a fiscally naive move in my opinion.

Leasing or renting out your soul is a much more sustainable business model since you essentially retain your asset in the longer term. Also, different markets open up as your sin/piety profile changes over time.

Satan for example would previously pay very good cash prices in the soul futures market but he may still be open to other more complex financial instruments.

Hell is large and has very high heating costs. With property tanking and energy prices soaring I'd definitely think about pitching him some more flexible shorter term investments.

Rumour has it that he's is already over extended on his lines of credit but I suspect the US government would underwrite any debt if hell froze over.
Priceless!
Ugh, that's rediculous! Here people don't give a rat shit about it. I was hearing some people outside my classroom today talking about the theories about fundamentalist Christians lol! That made me laugh while eavesdropping a little (my group and I were doing some work to be prepared for Friday's lecture). Basically we were like "ha ha, even listening to people talking about the theories of fundamentalism is more funny than our text!".
I wonder how many scraps I would have been in during my fist day there? In my little village, even the JWs won't knock at my door any more, and the other fundies won't talk religion in front of me. Ya, I'm not very tolerant of either religious or red neck stupidity. But the smart thing to do might be a campaign like this British comedian did in this YouTube video - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7wOz5a6yns. Check it out, it's very funny.
He's Australian :P Has a very peculiar accent though.
He is? Dam. I guess I should have watched the video again, before I linked it here (I first saw it a while back).
Door to door proselytisers. Funny people; I usually offer to listen to them for 50€/h, refreshments included, money-back-guarantee if they convince me.
Up until now none of them had enough confidence in their beliefs to agree to that.
Youy could get them all together and hold an auction; find out how much your soul is really worth.

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